My dad is really ill

[Spent2much]

He has Parkinson's and he has deteriorated so fast, i can't understand him when he speaks, he can hardly walk, he keeps falling and hurting himself. He is scared to leave the house as it's his comfort zone, he has no go in him and cannot even use his mobile phone or the house phone, he can't do anything hardly .
My brother thinks the same , I don't know how Parkinson's effects people and what stage is the end but I know my dad isn't good

my mum fell too on Wednesday and cut her arm, I had just changed her bedding too and she never told me until yesterday that she had to change the bedding during the night because her was bleeding , had she phoned me i would have changed it for her , she must have been knackered doing it on her own , all this makes me very sad I never thought I would see my parents like this so fast .

[garlok]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Terrible business S2M. Its an awful illness. Have seen some in our own families and I have a Brother in law with it at 58. Is he on meds? If so has he been taking them as instructed by the doctor? If all has been done by the book then I would get the GP in very fast for a talk with yourself and your brother. You NEED to know the symptoms of deterioration that you will have to look out for and what stage the GP thinks he is at.

Chin up it may not be as bad you fear, but this way at least you will know.

regards
G

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

hi, thank you, he is on medication and i think he has another hospital appointment next month, are me and my brother allowed to discuss this with his doctor, because he is at a different surgery than us ?

I feel helpless

[fluffystuff]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Sorry to read such a sad post S2M.

Its heart rending to watch anybody in a less than perfect state but especially difficult when it's somebody close to you that's suffering. I think Garlok's suggestion that it is now time to call upon the professionals is the best thing you can do for not only both your mum and dad but you as well, right now.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, that's what they are there for.

Sending you a Fluffy hug. X.

[fluffystuff]

Re: I think my dad is dying

hi, thank you, he is on medication and i think he has another hospital appointment next month, are me and my brother allowed to discuss this with his doctor, because he is at a different surgery than us ?

I feel helpless

I don't see why not, you are concerned about their well-being. Give him a ring. X

[SXGuy]

Re: I think my dad is dying

make an appointment for him, and go along on his behalf. I would.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

thank you guys i will phone my brother tomorrow and suggest we do speak to his doctor , my brother is on nights at the moment , my mum has my mobile number and also my brothers and we are on hand if she needs us, she says she is at a loss with my dad and she cries a lot bless her .

[Undercover Elsa]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi Hun,
I agree, don't wait for the appointment, his meds need an urgent review by his GP as it sounds as if he's having full blown symptoms. Either he's forgetting to take them or the dosage needs increasing or the type needs changing. Depends on the GP, they may go data protection on you and not tell you anything, but worst case scenario at least you can tell them what's happening.
Might be an idea for you to find out the surgery's procedure for your dad to give permission for you to discuss his case, in the form of a signed authority.
Good luck and let us know how you get on...
Elsa x

[garlok]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Some doctors get stroppy on this issue but this is a real case of care needed. You and your brother are his children and direct blood relatives, you Mom sounds as if she needs support as well. If they cut up rusty then tell the GP to get their Butt around there on a house visit toute suite making sure you and your brother are there with your Mom. At that point it is possible to force the issue as in his state, it is probable that he is not of fit state of mind to make a rational decision and it will then be your mother's decision as his next of kin. Failure then to comply and provide help and support both to him and his carers i.e. you and your Mom is gross professional misconduct which can be reported to the GMC for a disciplinary hearing. We have been through this with Mrs G's brother and the Social services supposedly looking after him (he under a section 117 order anyway for his mental disability) We are moving forward with a Court of Protection Deputyship which means they and his doctors cannot even draw breath without the permission of the court appointed deputy (Mrs G and her elder brother) If they then fail then the Office of the Public Guardian will send sheriffs around to arrest the buggers doctors and all on the spot.

The [primary concern of the GP has to be the care and welfare of the patient and he/she is NOT allowed to cause harm and doing nothing or hiding behind Data protection which causes harm is gorunds for removal from the register. Not sure but I think there was a hearing which reinforced this in front of the GMC in December 2010 run by Pannone solicitors in Manchester. Memory might be a bit awry there as we followed another case at that time.

regards
G

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi Hun,
I agree, don't wait for the appointment, his meds need an urgent review by his GP as it sounds as if he's having full blown symptoms. Either he's forgetting to take them or the dosage needs increasing or the type needs changing. Depends on the GP, they may go data protection on you and not tell you anything, but worst case scenario at least you can tell them what's happening.
Might be an idea for you to find out the surgery's procedure for your dad to give permission for you to discuss his case, in the form of a signed authority.
Good luck and let us know how you get on...
Elsa x

Hi, about a month ago his GP stopped a medication for his muscles for no reason, my mum phoned the parkinsons nurse and she said he needed those tablets , he was falling out of bed and falling over , when he fell out of bed last time he was in a lot of pain, i went to the doctors with him and he said no broken ribs just bruised . That was a 5 weeks ago, he is still in pain , but the GP prescribed the medication again for his muscle pains , he has been on the medication for i think two weeks now. He was having hallucinations but he says they have stopped now. I am going to my parents again tomorrow so i will see how he is , but i am going to get the number for the parkinsons nurse and give her a call. I am also going to get my brother to phone my dads GP and talk to him see what can be done.

We contacted age concern about possible help such as grip bars and having a walk in shower installed because neither of my parents can step over the side of the bath now and just have a wash, its not good enough in my opinion , the letter they received was that they are in a queue for priority assessment but who know how long this will take ?

[garlok]

Re: I think my dad is dying

They will fob you off for as long as they can get away with it however there ARE grants available based upon need to enable disabled people to liove as independently as possible preferably in their own homes. Last year when we looked for some one else with washing/showering difficulties the amount was up to £30,000 yes £30K in England and could be as high as £36,000 in Wales particularly conversions for wet room walk in showers.

As is the case with anything Social Services, he who shouts loudest gets. So I would contact the practice or district ( are they Community now?) nurse and get her to bring the occupational therapist along.

Have you checked the SAGA site yet? There is a lot of information available there and all this may be detailed.

regards
G

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

They will fob you off for as long as they can get away with it however there ARE grants available based upon need to enable disabled people to liove as independently as possible preferably in their own homes. Last year when we looked for some one else with washing/showering difficulties the amount was up to £30,000 yes £30K in England and could be as high as £36,000 in Wales particularly conversions for wet room walk in showers.

As is the case with anything Social Services, he who shouts loudest gets. So I would contact the practice or district ( are they Community now?) nurse and get her to bring the occupational therapist along.

Have you checked the SAGA site yet? There is a lot of information available there and all this may be detailed.

regards
G

i will check it out, i'm feeling a little more positive now i phoned my mum and she put my dad on , his speech was improved so maybe his other tablets are kicking in who knows. but i am still going push this for the help and my brother is phoning the GP and the parkinsons nurse tomorrow. I pray it is just the tablets that need to kick in i need to see improvement .

[pompeyfaith]

Re: I think my dad is dying

They will fob you off for as long as they can get away with it however there ARE grants available based upon need to enable disabled people to liove as independently as possible preferably in their own homes. Last year when we looked for some one else with washing/showering difficulties the amount was up to £30,000 yes £30K in England and could be as high as £36,000 in Wales particularly conversions for wet room walk in showers.

As is the case with anything Social Services, he who shouts loudest gets. So I would contact the practice or district ( are they Community now?) nurse and get her to bring the occupational therapist along.

Have you checked the SAGA site yet? There is a lot of information available there and all this may be detailed.

regards
G

Garlok is right on the issue regarding disability facilities grants (DFG) this are assessed by the county council and if granted is handed over to borough council environmental dept to inspect and assess the property for the work to be done.

Because it is council you do have to keep at them and force them into doing the work as councils do not exactly go at lightning speed.

We have a disability wetroom and is the best thing ever done as it makes cleaning ones body so much easier.

If you are a council tenant the council will do the work themselves via a contractor if you own the home the council will instruct you to get 3 quotes which is what I had to do although the council did give me a long list of contractors that had done satisfactory work for them in the past.

I have photos of my conversion if you would like to see them just shout.

[cardiac arrest]

Re: I think my dad is dying

You've made the first important steps S2M, you've recognised a need for action..and you've asked for help and guidance..which you have received from those that know the routines on here. The first reaction to situations such as yours are panic...what to do...and clear thinking goes out of the window for a while. Having a plan in place, and some knowledge of what to do and who to speak to will, I'm sure, make you feel much more in control of the events that are taking place in your life. I wish you well.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Thank you everyone, me and my brother are going push this along because we can't have our parents falling all the time, hand rails would be a start for them at least and if we can't get them anytime soon we are going to buy them ouselves and my brother is going to fit them .