Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by "friend"

[Barney]

Hi,

Looking for some advice on behalf of my daughter.

A supposed 'good friend' took out a Studio Cards account by phone using my daughter's name and details, only informing my daughter after the event. This was just before Christmas to purchase Christmas presents for the friend's daughters, as she was "desperate and knew that she wouldn't be able to get approval in her own name".

My daughter was understandably furious with her, but this friend 'promised and pleaded' she would honour the payments and stupidly my daughter agreed to go along with this out of misplaced friendship, foolishly believing this was some sort of catalogue with a fixed sum that would reduce with each payment and not appreciating that the debt could increase. (She is very financially naive and a 'soft touch' where friends are concerned).

I have just become aware of this some four months later that the 'friend' has only been making partial and late payments with the debt increasing as a result of charges etc. This started at around £200, (although she initially added items above and beyond what she had advised my daughter she had ordered). The debt is now somewhere in excess of £300 or so I understand. My daughter has never even spoken with the company.

If this had only just happened, I would have suggested my daughter contact the company immediately explaining that the debt had been fraudulently obtained, but four months on doubt this would wash.

I could just about pay the amount outstanding for her in f & f settlement and hope that she can recover the monies from her 'friend', but am loathe to do this. However, I do not want my daughter being held responsible for an increasing debt that is not hers.

Any advice would be very much appreciated .... other than knocking her bloody head off for being so absolutely stupid in the first place.

[MrsD]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

I don't think it would wash at this stage that she didn't know. It was fraud but she has allowed it to proceed. How is your daughter's credit record? Has this debt been defaulted? it will certainly have late payment markers if the "friend" has been missing payments. I would check her credit reports and if they are still clear, you need to act quickly to maintain them. You need to see all the paperwork so that you know the exact state of the account. on the other hand I suppose your daughter could just deny all knowledge, what address was used?

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

Thanks MrsD for the reply.

I don't think her record will be particularly brilliant as her ex-left her a shed load of debts a few years ago. I have suggested that she get all paperwork from the girl on Monday and that she (my daughter - with my guidance) speak with the company and control all future payments.

I was toying with the idea that she admit the circumstances to the company and suggest that, far from trying to avoid the issue, ask that all future charges and interest be frozen and a payment plan be arranged to fully repay in the shortest possible time which sehe would take control of. Or would this open another can of worms??

Edit: The "friend" used my daughter's address and goods were delivered there subsequently - that's how it first came to light.

[MrsD]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

I just don't know if they'd be up for any kind of F&F, this was fraud and your daughter has aided and abetted I would imagine that the company wouldn't be prepared to dicker without some sort of guarantee that the police have been contacted, they after all are the injured party. Is there no prospect of getting the money from the friend? even if she agreed to pay it off on a schedule which your daughter or you could maintain with her?

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

I just don't know if they'd be up for any kind of F&F, this was fraud and your daughter has aided and abetted I would imagine that the company wouldn't be prepared to dicker without some sort of guarantee that the police have been contacted, they after all are the injured party. Is there no prospect of getting the money from the friend? even if she agreed to pay it off on a schedule which your daughter or you could maintain with her?

Hi MrsD and thanks for stepping in on this, a calm mind is appreciated. We (my wife and I) have had a day of it I'm afraid and it seemed such a good day when we got up this morning! Haha! Kids eh?

I thought that might be the answer. The friend is saying she can just afford £15 per week, but I have serious doubts as to how often she would keep up to making payments. At this stage (depending on amount outstanding and the terms when I get to see them) I am reluctantly leaning towards breaking the bank myself and paying the full balance off and asking my daughter to keep the pressure on her friend to pay the £15 pw. That way the debt is settled and my daughter's exposure is at an end.

If I went down this route, I take it you wouldn't think it worthwhile (without mentioning the fraud) contacting the company for a reduced F&F. (I am thinking along the lines of "Caring Dad helping daughter in difficulty out for "our mutual benefit" approach" ??

Thanks again.

[MrsD]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

they normally don't have any truck with F&F until it's defaulted and usually sold on...............if it gets that far, your daughter's credit file is trashed (and it must have been reasonable for the credit to go through anyway) I would send off for the credit reports to see if there is anything worth saving (credit wise) then you possibly need to try a little gentle blackmail of the friend, she pays, you don't go to the police.................I would also employ a bit of tough love with your daughter, she's been daft, you need to make sure she knows it and she needs to help sort this.

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

they normally don't have any truck with F&F until it's defaulted and usually sold on...............if it gets that far, your daughter's credit file is trashed (and it must have been reasonable for the credit to go through anyway) I would send off for the credit reports to see if there is anything worth saving (credit wise) then you possibly need to try a little gentle blackmail of the friend, she pays, you don't go to the police.................I would also employ a bit of tough love with your daughter, she's been daft, you need to make sure she knows it and she needs to help sort this.

Thank you so much. I have just spoken with my daughter and basically read her your last reply and she couldn't agree more. She, quite rightly, is feeling very apologetic and perhaps more importantly ashamed of her absolute stupidity. The problem is that she is such a soft touch and this isn't the first time supposed good friends have taken her for a ride.

I am going to wait until I see the damage in black and white and then make a call on whether I pay off or just monitor and 'ensure' all payments are met.

The "friend", rather than being apologetic or remorseful, is unforgiveably giving my daughter grief for getting upset about it. She quite clearly took great advantage of my daughter's soft nature crying that she couldn't afford presents for her kids and now this! This is why I am not convinced any agreement will be honoured.

I just hope that at long last my daughter learns her lesson.

Once again, thanks very much for all the advice.

Let's see what the paperwork reveals! Much more than £300 and it will be a re-think.

[MrsD]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

let us know when you've got all the figures, if the friend is continuing with the bad attitude........................you need to think carefully

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

let us know when you've got all the figures, if the friend is continuing with the bad attitude........................you need to think carefully

Will do. I will update once I have the full picture.

Thanks again MrsD.

[Sapphire]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

We had a similar situation with my husbands granddaughter, in the end we paid it off, went round to the friends house each week when she got her money and took it from her until the debt was paid, two lessons were learned because of this a) the granddaughter doesn't have anything to do with the ex friend anymore and b) the friend only gets what she can afford now.

Time for tough love I'm afraid.

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

We had a similar situation with my husbands granddaughter, in the end we paid it off, went round to the friends house each week when she got her money and took it from her until the debt was paid, two lessons were learned because of this a) the granddaughter doesn't have anything to do with the ex friend anymore and b) the friend only gets what she can afford now.

Time for tough love I'm afraid.

Hi Sapphire and thanks for commenting.

I have been far from perfect financially in the past myself (hence my presence here on AAD, as I am sure is the case for many/most here). As a result, I do feel somewhat the hypocrite "reading the riot act" to my daughter. Hence I find tough love hard, but agree it is sometimes necessary and this is one of those moments.

She went through so much after her ex-partner left her (and our granddaughter, who he does not pay a penny in support for), He left her with a mess of debts 5-6 years ago, many of which he had hoodwinked her into, taken out without her knowledge, or played on her heartstrings. As a result, I thought she of all people would have learned the trust lesson since then, but alas, someone else has now taken advantage of her gullible, soft nature yet again.

Depending on the extent of the debt, I am thinking of a similar approach to yours and hoping that the friend appreciates that this also benefits her by reducing considerably the total amount she will need to pay. My only fear is that, if repaid by me, she then decides to relinquish any further responsibility. Although, I suppose she could do that now given the debt is not in her name.

I suppose that, as parents/grandparents, there is only so much we can do both financially and emotionally.

[Sapphire]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

Hey, take a look at our debt record and you'll see that we've been absolutely dreadful too but it doesn't stop you, me or anyone else trying to help the younger ones does it ? Its our job as parents and grandparents to a) embarrass our kids at every opportunity, ie parties b) nag them narrow c) tell them stories about 'when we were your age and of course guide them financially, now if they take notice then great if not then we tried.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

Depending on the extent of the debt, I am thinking of a similar approach to yours and hoping that the friend appreciates that this also benefits her by reducing considerably the total amount she will need to pay. My only fear is that, if repaid by me, she then decides to relinquish any further responsibility. Although, I suppose she could do that now given the debt is not in her name.

I take it, then, that the credit cards (also fraudulently obtained in your daughter's name) haven't yet started to complain about non-payment?

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

Hey, take a look at our debt record and you'll see that we've been absolutely dreadful too but it doesn't stop you, me or anyone else trying to help the younger ones does it ? Its our job as parents and grandparents to a) embarrass our kids at every opportunity, ie parties b) nag them narrow c) tell them stories about 'when we were your age and of course guide them financially, now if they take notice then great if not then we tried.

Haha, agreed! Yep, that all sounds very familiar Sapphire!

[Barney]

Re: Advice needed on debt taken out in daughter's name by 2friend"

I take it, then, that the credit cards (also fraudulently obtained in your daughter's name) haven't yet started to complain about non-payment?

Hey. don't be saying that CleverClogs! This is bad enough!

No, there is no evidence of anything else thank goodness. It's pretty clear that her 'friend' knew that she would have to come clean and did so shortly afterwards, as there was no way around using my daughter's genuine address for statements/deliveries. She basically pulled on the old heartstrings and my daughter foolishly caved in on the promise that all payments would be made and it would be fully repaid.

I don't think the friend has missed payments, but has been late with them and underpaid leading to penalty charges increasing the debt. My daughter is still receiving all correspondence at her address, but was passing the statements on to the girl to pay.

Once I have seen the paperwork, which she will hopefully have tomorrow, all will be much clearer.