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  • youngest moved out today

    He met a young lady last October and love blossomed , they started staying here and we didn't get on with her nor her with us , she lives an hour away and he has left his job and found a job where she lives can't start until he upgrades his car insurance , he has no money and is now living with her at her mothers house,

    I'm feeling rather sick about this because is already a few months behind with other bills , we helped him out and have given him over 150 quid which we won't get back , and then we are supposedly the ones who have driven him away because we wanted him and his girlfriend to at least do a few chores around the house , she stayed in her room all day and didn't wake up until 2 in the afternoon .

    Anyway i just feel really shitty right now , he's left home before and come back but this is different
    _______________________________________




  • #2
    Re: youngest moved out today

    Don't let it get to you, son has left and come back 3 times. Daughter came back with grandson after 12 years, left for 4 years, now back again! Just the way things go nowadays. Tonight, son & daughter stopping.

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    • #3
      Re: youngest moved out today

      Oh heck , that's happened with our eldest son too , he left home to live with a girl , then they fell out he came back with a puppy that wrecked the house , then he met another girl who is now his wife, they moved in youngest moved out , then youngest moved back in and then they all moved out at the same time and we had a month to ourselves , then youngest came back has been with us for 5 years and now he is the one who just moved out again .

      My hubby is very upset he adores his children and hates conflict, but i feel rules need making and am not easy to take the piss out off lol, i take so much then that's it. I adore my boys too and even now youngest can come back any time, he did give me a big hug and said he loves me before he left , i'm 5.5 he is 6.4 lol he is like a giant but gentle and this is what worries me that he is too soft and this girl is taking the piss, she doesn't do a bloody thing she is lazy she has always got something wrong with her and he thinks she is wonderful .

      Anyway i have text him said i would like to see him and that i love him and i always will
      _______________________________________



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      • #4
        Re: youngest moved out today

        I had this money to get him out of trouble and it does make you feel sick with worry, she was useless.He lives by us now with his 2 boys still worry. But that's being a mum.Try to hold on .... Hugs xx
        if you do it today and you like it you can always do it again tomorrow


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        • #5
          Re: youngest moved out today

          It's bad enough when they move out, but when there is a partner and grief you do worry more. I'm sure he will stay with you.
          I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

          If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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          • #6
            Re: youngest moved out today

            I'll admit to jealousy when my daughter went to live with a bloke and his mother. I felt that she had replaced me She bounced back when the time was right but if I'd seen that woman crossing the street I wouldn't have swerved my car to avoid her at the time.

            When she went to live with her new chap I was over the moon. He's perfect in every way. I fact there are some days when I prefer him to her And there's no Substitute Mother involved with this one

            It's horrid when they go but you should feel proud of yourself because you've made him independent so he thinks he can manage without you. He'll be back when he wants his washing done!
            Last edited by PlanB; 18th January 2015, 19:16. Reason: typo
            I don't give advice, I share wisdom. Whenever the chips are down there's always a Plan B

            I'm a fully qualified mother which is the hardest exam I've ever sat. I have other more formal qualifications which are less important


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            • #7
              Re: youngest moved out today

              Originally posted by nanna58 View Post
              I had this money to get him out of trouble and it does make you feel sick with worry, she was useless.He lives by us now with his 2 boys still worry. But that's being a mum.Try to hold on .... Hugs xx
              thank you xx
              _______________________________________



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              • #8
                Re: youngest moved out today

                youngest still not talking to us and seen him once since he moved out . Its his 25th birthday next Wednesday but i doubt he will come for his card .
                Another stressful event in the family too from hubbies side , his mum was in hospital and an argument broke out who was going on what evening bla bla bla and his sister phoned him and was effing and blinding down the phone, she also did her usual trick of posting obscenities on facebook , next morning we heard a thud downstairs and our front window had been bricked, it just tipped me over the top with anxiety and i had a massive panic attack where my forehead went all tight and also my eyes and i actually thought my eyes were going to pop out of the sockets and it affected my vision , really scared me .
                I don't understand bricking someone's window just because of a disagreement its childish in my opinion

                Feel pretty low anyway with my son not speaking or even coming to see me or phone even when i had the flu and bronchitis

                On Mother's day we are going away to Nottingham with eldest son his wife and grandson staying in the travelodge so that will be a nice change and i'm looking forward to that . Only 32 for the night
                _______________________________________



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                • #9
                  Re: youngest moved out today

                  Aaaw how shitty a time you're having. Chin up. Go enjoy yourself with eldest & grandkids and don't let all this nonsense get to you. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. Cut your youngest off. Try just not getting in touch / contacting him and when he sees you're living your life and not as bothered he'll come back. It's what us lads do.
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                  • #10
                    Re: youngest moved out today

                    Originally posted by Never-In-Doubt View Post
                    Aaaw how shitty a time you're having. Chin up. Go enjoy yourself with eldest & grandkids and don't let all this nonsense get to you. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. Cut your youngest off. Try just not getting in touch / contacting him and when he sees you're living your life and not as bothered he'll come back. It's what us lads do.
                    Hi Niddy , long time no see hope you and your family are well . That's exactly what we have done , leaving him to it and although we have had trouble from hubbies side of the family we have been getting on with life still .

                    In fact the house is peaceful and tidy ha ha , so we are at least enjoying peace
                    _______________________________________



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                    • #11
                      Re: youngest moved out today

                      Totally right Niddy .... But it still worries us mums its our nature. Enjoy your weekend Spent xx
                      if you do it today and you like it you can always do it again tomorrow


                      I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                      If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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                      • #12
                        Re: youngest moved out today

                        They didn't ask to be born. So they say. But they certainly make us run around for the rest of their lives.

                        Enjoy what you can, hopefully things will resolve in the very near future.

                        A son is a son till he takes him a wife ......

                        I thought that had passed when son moved out, but now my nephew has arrived to do a college course,(supposed to be looking for place with friends, but never bothered), and has converted the place into a tip. Family issues mean his parents and he are preoccupied and don't wish to add to stress, so just praying for June.

                        Families!

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                        • #13
                          Re: youngest moved out today

                          Originally posted by julian View Post
                          They didn't ask to be born. So they say. But they certainly make us run around for the rest of their lives.

                          Enjoy what you can, hopefully things will resolve in the very near future.

                          A son is a son till he takes him a wife ......

                          I thought that had passed when son moved out, but now my nephew has arrived to do a college course,(supposed to be looking for place with friends, but never bothered), and has converted the place into a tip. Family issues mean his parents and he are preoccupied and don't wish to add to stress, so just praying for June.

                          Families!

                          it is true, although my eldest son is very close to us comes to see us a few times a week with our grandson . His wife is lovely and very caring .
                          As for the spare rooms , well the two cats have a choice of 3 king beds to sleep on . I'm not planning on having any lodgers i really enjoy the privacy now
                          _______________________________________



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                          • #14
                            Re: youngest moved out today

                            Hi S2M for you x

                            I've only got daughters so I don't know if lads are different or not. My youngest left at 18 5 years ago after yet another row. She was the only one still at home and I was under a lot of stress at work. I came home from work one day and she'd moved out. I didn't have a clue where she'd gone and she wouldn't answer her phone. It turns out she'd gone to stay with friends and then got a live-in job 50 miles away. Fast forward five years and we're great friends, we go to yoga classes together, she was a brilliant help when I had major surgery and she lives with a great lad a few minutes away.

                            I wouldn't cut your youngest son out of your life. Do you know his address? If so, post his birthday card instead of hoping that he will come to get it. If his girlfriend is such a nightmare he'll soon tire of her and then he'll want his mum.

                            Sorry you're having trouble with your husband's family? I'm assuming that you think it's them that have thrown a brick through your window? I can't understand the mentality of some people! Why don't you de-activate your fb account for a while, "unfriend" them or just not bother logging on. I've hardly been on fb for months.

                            Have a lovely Mother's Day away with your eldest son and family x
                            Let your smile change the world but don't let the world change your smile


                            I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                            If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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                            • #15
                              Re: youngest moved out today

                              bedroom.jpg
                              Originally posted by Pixie View Post
                              Hi S2M for you x

                              I've only got daughters so I don't know if lads are different or not. My youngest left at 18 5 years ago after yet another row. She was the only one still at home and I was under a lot of stress at work. I came home from work one day and she'd moved out. I didn't have a clue where she'd gone and she wouldn't answer her phone. It turns out she'd gone to stay with friends and then got a live-in job 50 miles away. Fast forward five years and we're great friends, we go to yoga classes together, she was a brilliant help when I had major surgery and she lives with a great lad a few minutes away.

                              I wouldn't cut your youngest son out of your life. Do you know his address? If so, post his birthday card instead of hoping that he will come to get it. If his girlfriend is such a nightmare he'll soon tire of her and then he'll want his mum.

                              Sorry you're having trouble with your husband's family? I'm assuming that you think it's them that have thrown a brick through your window? I can't understand the mentality of some people! Why don't you de-activate your fb account for a while, "unfriend" them or just not bother logging on. I've hardly been on fb for months.

                              Have a lovely Mother's Day away with your eldest son and family x

                              Thank you , i had de-friended them all on facebook. its funny you should say that about his birthday card because hubby wants to drive and post it through the door as we know where they live and also drop his mail through.

                              His girlfriend is horrible she sent me a pm calling me mental and that i belong in an asylum , and even said she wouldn't drink a cup of coffee if i made it as i would probably poison her . She called me a liar that my dad is ill and she doesn't really think he has parkinson's. She said i was lazy and can't keep a nice home and that its dirty .

                              Thing is when she stayed here with my son the bedroom and bathroom was left like a tip when they moved on , i counted about 50 empty loo rolls just piled up on the bathroom floor and there were 10 empty pizza boxes left in the room .

                              When i had that panic last Saturday my hubby was really upset that it caused me such stress and we re-decorated the room they were in and he laid a new carpet , i finished it off today . This is the picture it isn't very clear , but we moved back in there and its so much better especially with the en-suite , why oh why was i stupid enough to let them have the best room in the house lol
                              _______________________________________



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