How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

[Jacobs Cracker]

This is driving me mad!

My brother bought a flat about 10 years ago which he intended to do up & rent out to have as a second income, while still living at home with my parents. But then my parents moved house themselves into a bungalow which meant he could not live with them so had to move into his own flat. Great I thought, about time too considering his age!

Sadly however, my dear brother, still cannot stand on his own 2 feet. He goes to my 72yr old mum & dad's on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays for his tea, Saturdays takes his washing for my mum to do & spends most of Sunday there too! When my mum cooks his tea she even has to hand it to him on a tray while he sits on his bottom watching tv! (She has also always pampered my dad in these same ways!)

I've had many conversations with my mum along the lines of she 'is not doing him any favours', & 'what is he going to do when she isn't here to do these things?' My mum says she enjoys doing it & can't see the problem & unfortunately our conversations about it usually end in arguments. My mum is very fit for her age but she's no spring chicken. It annoys me that my mum is doing it but most of all that my brother is letting her.

I hear you ask 'exactly how old is he?' Well, he is 44yrs old!

So please do tell me - how old were you when you cut the strings from either your parents or children? And is it just me or would you feel the same way?

[The Tech Clerk]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Left home @ 16 and joined the Army as a Boy Soldier. prior to that I had been an apprentice Installing AGA cookers and Rayburn cookers etc plumbing.

[Beefy1976]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Left home at 21 and moved 100 miles away. My father has sadly passed away but I look after my mom the best I can from a distance - As parents get older they should be looked after and not still be looking after their grown up kids... Everyone is different though but that's my thoughts

[mgfboy]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

I dont think we ever really cut the pinny strings, either to our kids or our parents. It just they get a bit longer or loser as is required.

[ken100464]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

I am with tech clerk

Left at 16 and never went back.

If a parent makes life too cushty then an offspring will never grow up why should they.

For me part of parenting is to slowly wean your kid off parental support. Yes they are always our kids but to become a responsible adult able to deal with most of lifes curved balls you have to grow up. And that is part of a parents job. To teach them life skills. By molly coddling you actually stunt your kids growth as an individual.

[diddlydee]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

All the time your mum gives, your brother will take. It's how it is, I'm afraid!

Your mum probably feels useful doing it so, whilst it is a bit of a liberty on your brothers side, ultimately it's up to her to be fed up with it, and it would seem she isn't.

Don't think there is much you can do about it.

[Enforcer]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

I left home and got a mortgage on my first house at age 18, cost me £2000.00 a fortune at the time! Mum used to visit me and bring food parcels. Only ever stopped at home for one night since. To manage I got in 2 lodgers. Married one of them 35 years ago. Still married and in love!
However my son aged 34 although he has his own place, now on his own, comes to stay every other weekend with my granddaughter, we feed them and look forward to them stopping. Love him and Granddaughter to bits.
My daughter split up with her partner and moved back home with my grandson, for a temporary period. Ended up being 2 years until council gave her a house. We paid off 2 credit card debts, then realised that there was another £13000.00 plus of debts. From the advice on this site we have not paid them a penny. All Enforceable! no contact from DCA's or OC's for months now. Grandson has key to our house and still treats this as second home, 14 now, great lad. We have to realise that times have changed, we are now in an era of "boomerang kids"
Your Mum probably looks forward to looking after your brother, you resent it. My daughter always complained about my son taking advantage. Until she needed help. Just hope your Mum And Dad are there to help you, if you fall on hard times. You would do the same for kids.

[SXGuy]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Im 34, i left home about 4 years ago.

I admit, i still take my washing round to my mums, mainly cos i dont have a tumble dryer and it takes forever for my clothes to dry at home LOL

But i actually believe your mother when she says she enjoys it, i think my mum does too, We will always be our mothers son, and some mothers will always treat us as their little boy regardless of age.

I do consider myself to be be able to stand on my own two feet tho.

[oldyboy]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Similar to Tech Clerk. Joined RAF at 19 and never went back, not to live anyway.

Jacobs, I take it your bro lives on his own. Your mum might be feeling she's doing her duty as he doesn't have anyone to look after him. IMHO he's really the one you should be having words with. Unfortunately it seems there are loads more like him!

[Jacobs Cracker]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Thanks for your thoughts guys.

As much as it irritates me, he is my brother & I care about his welfare, there will come a day that my mum won't be there & I wonder how he'll cope. I just wish he had learnt a few life skills along the way.

Enforcer; I think you may have me a little wrong. Yes the situation does upset me & I know that my mum firmly believes in what she is doing, I just don't think she has thought of the future. And yes, I have fallen on hard times, I won't go into now but have faced some very bleak moments in life & know that both my mum & dad would give their right arm for me if needed. I'd like to think however that I have got a slightly healthier look on the subject than what my brother has.

[cymruambyth]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

P1, what goes around comes around. My brother in law was he same always having meals etc.. Then it reached the stage that she needed to cook and see him. Now he is the one that she calls all times of night and day. He has no family of his own and is selfish. The other brothers have families and can't run around their mother, so it has balanced out in the end.

[jon1965]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Do we ever?
I think if you live in a not too dysfunctional family there will always be a connection. Then if you have a mother of a certain generation who was brought up to be a servant to their men folk they take on that role.

[di30]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Left home at 15, but the door was always open at home.

My sister had a new flat and asked if i could just keep her company for a while, so it went from there really, and I never exactly returned home from then on, but did stay the odd night at mum's.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?

Left at 17 to move to "the city" (london). Not only have I never been back, I don't talk or acknowledge any parents.

Such is life.

Happy with my family and my kids who are welcome anytime (until aged 20)

[diddlydee]

Re: How old were you when you cut the pinny strings?



I'll be your mummy, Nids. Have you remembered to change your underpants today?