Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

[PlanB]

I've had a bit of a week with a creditor so I have a plan which may/may not work and it doesn't come cheap. The idea was given to me by the DCAs. Thanks guys. They've got P O Box addresses so we don't know where they are, so I've decided I'm going to do the same. Simples.

According to the Royal Mail website any person not just companies can have a P O Box for a price (£100-ish for a year, ouch). This will mean that once I've told my creditors this P O Box is my new address then they will have no option but to send all those horrid threatening letters to my local sorting office. I will then potter down there when I'm ready and collect the crap. That puts me in control of my fear. I'll nominate a time when I'm feeling strong (not often), take a deep breath and open the box on my terms. I'll take the bundle to the pub to read. I plan to do this at least once a week or I could miss a vital court summons with a deadline to meet.

This may be an expensive luxury but it'll be worth it just to stop that sick feeling in my stomach every time the postman comes to my front door. I find myself standing in my pyjamas feeling vulnerable while opening scary DCA letters which ruins my day. This way I'll choose the times I'm prepared to be scared. And I can take a friend/pet with me to hold my hand.

The only pitfall will be if there is some piece of consumer law which says I have to tell a creditor where I actually live, in which case my masterplan is scuppered. Worth a try though

[Susie]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Not sure about the consumer law, but although it sounds like a good way to control things I am fairly sure that Royal Mail do release names and addresses of who holds the box if requested. May be worth checking with them before you spend £150+ a year.

I may be wrong but having had one several years ago I am certain I saw that in the paperwork.

[PlanB]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Hello Susie

You're right about Royal Mail having the right to give out my real address to "enquirers" because that's in the Ts & Cs on their website. I was hoping that was more for the likes of the Fraud Squad and money laundering stuff. Not sure how they can do that with the DPA but you have to sign to agree to it or no box.

I'm not intending to deceive my creditors of my whereabouts or hide out in a Gadaffi way, I just want some distance between us. I have developed a fear of my post on a daily basis (not Sunday obviously)which is no way to live.

I was also hoping this might frustrate the door collection thing a bit because those brutes won't bother going to the sorting office to bully my P. O. Box. I know they can get my address from Royal Mail but surely some of them won't be bothered with the fuss. Some will, but I'm looking for damage limitation because my nerves can't take much more of this cat and mouse game. I don't want to play anymore.

[Susie]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Thats fine, as long as you know that they could trace you if they wanted to, just did not want you getting one thinking that they could not find where you really are and then having a shock if they suddenly wrote to you at your home address.


If you are happy with that then (as long as its ok with consumer law) go ahead and get one, anything to make you feel more in control and able to relax a bit

[PlanB]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Thats fine, as long as you know that they could trace you if they wanted to, just did not want you getting one thinking that they could not find where you really are and then having a shock if they suddenly wrote to you at your home address.


If you are happy with that then (as long as its ok with consumer law) go ahead and get one, anything to make you feel more in control and able to relax a bit

Thanks for that and I'll ask Royal Mail how easy it is for an "enquirer" to get my address from them, and what hoops they might have to jump through to justify such invasion of my privacy.

The other thing is if my address for creditors is a P O Box number I wonder what they will post on the CRAs I'm sure someone with better knowledge will come along and tell me I can't do this though.

[clueless24]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Hi Plan B
I just wanted to add that I completely understand where you are coming from, I used to live in fear of the postman, my post doesn't normally arrive until 2ish most days, until the postman walked past my house I was a nervous wreck, no post means a good day for me, I got myself into such a state worrying about what will arrive and what crap I would have to deal with that day.
Pre Niddy I was a million times worse I would just go into meltdown, I would worry over not worrying.
Anyway just wanted to say that the things that helped me were obviously Niddy and the team on this brilliant site the kind words of support and reassurance from everyone has kept me going and made me stronger and more able to deal with things, I realised that I had to take control of my life and deal with my fear of the postman and possible DCA visits, (How stupid does that sound now?) I guess it's about having the confidence and information to deal with whatever they throw at you and not hide away from it.
I will pass on a couple of little sayings that I have collected which made me realise I had to take control and learn to deal with things I knew living in fear of the postman just wasn't right, I hope they help you.

Trouble knocked at the door
fear called out "who's there"
courage opened the door
and there was no one there.

If you are weak a rock can block your path
If you are strong it can be a stepping stone.
Best of luck, stay strong, don't let it get the better of you.

[PlanB]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Hi Plan B
I just wanted to add that I completely understand where you are coming from, I used to live in fear of the postman, my post doesn't normally arrive until 2ish most days, until the postman walked past my house I was a nervous wreck, no post means a good day for me, I got myself into such a state worrying about what will arrive and what crap I would have to deal with that day.
Pre Niddy I was a million times worse I would just go into meltdown, I would worry over not worrying.
Anyway just wanted to say that the things that helped me were obviously Niddy and the team on this brilliant site the kind words of support and reassurance from everyone has kept me going and made me stronger and more able to deal with things, I realised that I had to take control of my life and deal with my fear of the postman and possible DCA visits, (How stupid does that sound now?) I guess it's about having the confidence and information to deal with whatever they throw at you and not hide away from it.
I will pass on a couple of little sayings that I have collected which made me realise I had to take control and learn to deal with things I knew living in fear of the postman just wasn't right, I hope they help you.

Trouble knocked at the door
fear called out "who's there"
courage opened the door
and there was no one there.

If you are weak a rock can block your path
If you are strong it can be a stepping stone.
Best of luck, stay strong, don't let it get the better of you.

Awww that's so sweet and so true. I'm a single Mum so had to learn to get spiders out of the bath while my daughter hid behind me, hoping she didn't hear my knees knocking in fear. So I suppose if I can do that, then I can do this.

The thing is being in debt is not a lifestyle choice. Chances are it's happened for a horrid reason like redundancy/divorce so there's a whole heap of related baggage to deal with at the same time.

Thanks for those useful pieces of wisdom. There's a line in T. S. Eliot's Cats story which goes "remember when you fall on your head, you will land on your feet". I seem to be upside down quite a lot right now!

[clueless24]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Hey if you can do spiders you can do anything, DCA's are nothing in comparrison to spiders in the bath. If only, in life, did we ever have to deal with one lot of poo!!! at a time, wouldn't that be great. Take care strong lady.x

[confused76]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

i used to feel sick when i got a letter, worried what it contained. now i try and think of it as a piece of paper. that's all it is, a piece of paper. a piece of paper can't physically hurt me (apart from pesky paper cuts!) if this PO box gives you a bit more peace of mind then go for it, as long as you collect your letters on a regular basis.

if you're getting help on here already, you've got Niddy and everyone else 100% behind you. xx

[Phoenix]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Hi Plan B,

I know exactly how you feel about dreading the post arriving - and feeling that every Sunday (and bank holiday) comes as a blessed relief!

If you do decide to go ahead and "invest" the £100 in a PO Box I am sure that the DCAs will find you, as either they or the bank involved will have your home address.

I know it is a difficult one for you, I know. Whenever I received a nasty letter I just imagined all my friends on here, who have been in a similar situation. And then I didn't feel so bad, because I was not alone. And as Confused so rightly says, it is only a piece of paper - which is going to end up in your hands eventually. Then the important thing is how you handle the reply - based on advice from Niddy, of course. Whenever I prepared one of those letters and pressed the "print" button I always felt so much better, as if I had been empowered. So, it may help if when the snotty letters arrive you start thinking about how you are going to respond.

Remember we have all been there - just come on here and get the support you need and deserve.

xxx

[Wishfull]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

the post office will give your details to anybody who asks them for the box owners details,however try these British Monomarks — A London Address, Wherever You Are they are long established and i used them for buisness purpasees and found them supperb hope this helps but the dcas will probs be aware of this and will hound you at your last known place of abode

[PlanB]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

the post office will give your details to anybody who asks them for the box owners details,however try these British Monomarks — A London Address, Wherever You Are they are long established and i used them for buisness purpasees and found them supperb hope this helps but the dcas will probs be aware of this and will hound you at your last known place of abode

I'll look into this. Thank you so much. The DCAs will hound me anyway so why not make them work for a living eh?

Plan B x

[Ames]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

If it works, a couple of quid a week sounds like a real bargain to make you feel better.

Like many others, I've been there and done that with the fear of the postman. In fact, even now when things are much better, I still sometimes find myself cowering under the duvet when the doorbell rings, even though I know it's a parcel I've bought being delivered!

When the nasty letters were coming regularly, I remember often diving into the bathroom (no windows in there) when the postman knocked.

[Handyman]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

Been there, Done that. Even thought of taking the Cowards way out.

Then I found Niddy, even before I introduced myself. Over next door
(MSE - Wash my mouth out). I lurked for a good while, used some of the templates, and was successful.

It's amazing how empowering sites such as All About can be.
Now I say Bring it on.

I can understand (believe me - been there) the fear of the Postman.

They cant shoot you for falling into debt. We all started out believing that it was affordable, then things change. Sh!t happens.

But there are Laws in place to protect the individual, shame is it's only when you find places such as this, you get to find out about them.

Just dropped into your thread, sorry to dribble on. If you need to get a PO box then it's not a bad idea for your piece of mind.

I just wanted to try to explain how different life can be when you get the confidence good advice can give.

Regards to all, Handy

[Wishfull]

Re: Get a P O Box for scary DCA letters

these are also good with a 100 offices to choose from Mailbox Rental | Parcel Delivery Services - Mail Boxes Etc. UK and Ireland could be one nearer to you