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Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.
HI MGS and If and all my other mates. Another midnight posting on my thread. Now please no sympathy, but I am going to tell you about possibly the most carp day I have had for ages. OK Sh1t happens but I must have done something really bad to deserve my day.
Firstly Lady Hooray isn't softening. Something must have hit the bitch switch this morning. Normally I am up at the hall at 8.30 to do logs rubbish and so on. This morning I had a few jobs of my own to do. She was knocking on my door by 5 to 9 to tell me I was late for work. I said respectfully that 9 is my official start time. Before that time is what his Lordship used to call grace and favor for the free rent (7 days a week). No Its 8.30 till 5.30, That's funny I said all these years I have worked for you and you have paid my for 40 hours when in fact I'm working 45 hours, I think you owe me some back pay.
She had left a list of jobs to do, most I had already said I would fit in this week. I was on the phone to the council for nearly an hour complaining on her behalf about the state of Hooray Lane. Then Grass Cutting, Weeding, Tractor Repairing, Window Cleaning, Pruning. Now its not so bad, I have been doing it that long its neither hard or difficult work, more like second nature. I take pride in how things look, but I can't make allowances for the weather, Rain, Gales, Drought. I spent the whole of last Monday and Tuesday drenched to my underpants just to move things forward.
Mrs Handy limped into work, her ankles still no better, last night our GP rang her at 9 in the evening to ask her down to the surgery, it need further investigation because it's going on too long was his request.
While Mrs H was at work she took a call from Lady Hooray's daughter, now she is a nice person, a bit of a Hooray Henrietta but has had her own problems. Her Ex was a wife beating Merchant Banker (really he was) Lady H couldn't understand why she wanted a divorce while he was on a 6 figure salary and an even bigger Bonus. She has recently had a cancer op. According to Lady She had had a full mastectomy, There was no chance of a reconstruction, was refusing Chemo, had been to a holistic Quack. What was she doing, She must get both children into a boarding School nearby. She Cant drive she has had so many Lymph Glands removed she has no use left in her arm.
When Mrs H asked her how she was, Rubbish she replied. I'm fed up of Mother telling people I'm at deaths door. I had a lump removed. I am having chemo because even though they got it in it's earliest stages it was on a vein. She went on to say, and dont tell my mother, that I told you that she says that Handy is Tossing it off, he never does enough work and I am fed up of paying him for doing nothing. And that Mrs Handy is past it, I have to go round at the back of her finishing the cleaning.
Is there a Smile for a nuclear explosion.
Mrs Handy could have both legs removed and she would still do a perfect Job, The Hall has 4 rooms, 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, 2 utilities and a laundry room. The bed sheets are super Kingsise and are laundered and changed weekly. Some of the cielings are 20 feet high. All this is bottomed at least once a week. I won't give secrets away but Mrs H (I'm a Toy Boy) should have retired 9 years ago.
She has forgotten the Girl she employed last year when Mrs H was off first due to ill health and then when she went North to look after her Mother. She's still finding things missing, the girl was a total stoner who never put in a full week in the 6 months she was here. Lady H even found her a flat in the area, and then paid of the rent arrears as the land lady never saw a penny in rent after the deposit.
And as if all this wasn't bad enough, Trapfly borrowed the charger for my lappy (without asking), ran the battery flat, didn't shut it down first. Then the lappy didn't recognise the charger and crashed.
Then the two border terriers had a fight, The worst yet. Its the vets tomorrow cause they are both lame.
Mrs H has just finally settled down her ankle has been hurting so bad its been tears.
So all in all, no Handyman's adventures today. Tomorrow I will be having words with my employer. It will be brutal. At my age I'm running out of employment options, as Trapfly keeps reminding me. What would that Idle **** know about a hard days work.
Sorry its not been a good update. I do have some piccys ready to go but I haven't got round to putting them on photobucket yet.
Off to look at the joke thread to get my grin back.
Regards all, Handy.
Originally posted by MustGetStraight
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Handy I don't know how you do it. I'd have thrown him out a long time back. You really do have the patience of a saint. Does he help you with your work when he's sponging off staying with you? If he doesn't..... maybe a bit of mowing an 8 acre lawn (preferably in torrential rain or blazing sun) might just persuade him to move on. Even better, you mow, you get him to pick up the grass cuttings behind you... 
Hope Mrs H's ankle is on the mend.
You never know, Lady H may just be softening in her old age?
Hope Mrs H's ankle is on the mend.
You never know, Lady H may just be softening in her old age?
Firstly Lady Hooray isn't softening. Something must have hit the bitch switch this morning. Normally I am up at the hall at 8.30 to do logs rubbish and so on. This morning I had a few jobs of my own to do. She was knocking on my door by 5 to 9 to tell me I was late for work. I said respectfully that 9 is my official start time. Before that time is what his Lordship used to call grace and favor for the free rent (7 days a week). No Its 8.30 till 5.30, That's funny I said all these years I have worked for you and you have paid my for 40 hours when in fact I'm working 45 hours, I think you owe me some back pay.
She had left a list of jobs to do, most I had already said I would fit in this week. I was on the phone to the council for nearly an hour complaining on her behalf about the state of Hooray Lane. Then Grass Cutting, Weeding, Tractor Repairing, Window Cleaning, Pruning. Now its not so bad, I have been doing it that long its neither hard or difficult work, more like second nature. I take pride in how things look, but I can't make allowances for the weather, Rain, Gales, Drought. I spent the whole of last Monday and Tuesday drenched to my underpants just to move things forward.
Mrs Handy limped into work, her ankles still no better, last night our GP rang her at 9 in the evening to ask her down to the surgery, it need further investigation because it's going on too long was his request.
While Mrs H was at work she took a call from Lady Hooray's daughter, now she is a nice person, a bit of a Hooray Henrietta but has had her own problems. Her Ex was a wife beating Merchant Banker (really he was) Lady H couldn't understand why she wanted a divorce while he was on a 6 figure salary and an even bigger Bonus. She has recently had a cancer op. According to Lady She had had a full mastectomy, There was no chance of a reconstruction, was refusing Chemo, had been to a holistic Quack. What was she doing, She must get both children into a boarding School nearby. She Cant drive she has had so many Lymph Glands removed she has no use left in her arm.
When Mrs H asked her how she was, Rubbish she replied. I'm fed up of Mother telling people I'm at deaths door. I had a lump removed. I am having chemo because even though they got it in it's earliest stages it was on a vein. She went on to say, and dont tell my mother, that I told you that she says that Handy is Tossing it off, he never does enough work and I am fed up of paying him for doing nothing. And that Mrs Handy is past it, I have to go round at the back of her finishing the cleaning.
Is there a Smile for a nuclear explosion.Mrs Handy could have both legs removed and she would still do a perfect Job, The Hall has 4 rooms, 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, 2 utilities and a laundry room. The bed sheets are super Kingsise and are laundered and changed weekly. Some of the cielings are 20 feet high. All this is bottomed at least once a week. I won't give secrets away but Mrs H (I'm a Toy Boy) should have retired 9 years ago.
She has forgotten the Girl she employed last year when Mrs H was off first due to ill health and then when she went North to look after her Mother. She's still finding things missing, the girl was a total stoner who never put in a full week in the 6 months she was here. Lady H even found her a flat in the area, and then paid of the rent arrears as the land lady never saw a penny in rent after the deposit.
And as if all this wasn't bad enough, Trapfly borrowed the charger for my lappy (without asking), ran the battery flat, didn't shut it down first. Then the lappy didn't recognise the charger and crashed.
Then the two border terriers had a fight, The worst yet. Its the vets tomorrow cause they are both lame.
Mrs H has just finally settled down her ankle has been hurting so bad its been tears.
So all in all, no Handyman's adventures today. Tomorrow I will be having words with my employer. It will be brutal. At my age I'm running out of employment options, as Trapfly keeps reminding me. What would that Idle **** know about a hard days work.
Sorry its not been a good update. I do have some piccys ready to go but I haven't got round to putting them on photobucket yet.
Off to look at the joke thread to get my grin back.
Regards all, Handy.
for Lady H....
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