CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

how cute are those kids - I want them!

Ask their Mum she would probably offer you Money.

Little Iz sat on her potty today, and said Mummy I'm making a Poo for you. DD said great I have always wanted one of those.

Regards, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Little Iz sat on her potty today, and said Mummy I'm making a Poo for you. DD said great I have always wanted one of those.

Did you offer to help with its wrapping?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Sid you offer to help with its wrapping?

I have moved enough Sh1t for my bosses, moving some for one of my own aint a problem. (have to admit it was ripe though )

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I have moved enough Sh1t for my bosses, moving some for one of my own aint a problem. (have to admit it was ripe though )

Ripe being, ermm, fresh?

* Did it have steam? if it is steaming you know you gotta good-un

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Ha ha ha...I've just spent 10 days with Ma and it's gone really well? (anyone remember last year when she really stressed me out) though now she's going a bit ott by phoning me on the train asking if I'm okay and stuff....

How are you handy? I still have money from holidays - whoop whoop whoop!

And feel so well yet tired it's unreal

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, SC glad your Holiday went well. I look forward to your World Tour of Scotland stories.

I found a Snakeskin in the grass cuttings today, @ 3 feet long and 5 inches wide I hope it belongs to a grass snake, I know there are a lot of Adders in the area, but our patch isn't really suited to them. I will have to be more careful when I am crawling around under the bushes doing the weeding.

Duty call so Handy will be back in a wee while with more stories.

Regards all, Handy.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I know there are a lot of Adders in the area,

Have they progressed to multiplying?

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Your grandkids are so cute Handy - but so are mine!!

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Angelic you are my new Hero. Even a grumpy old man like Handy can get broody where kids are concerned. But where do you get the energy from to look after 3 under 5's.

I have no idea where it comes from Handy, I guess you just gotta take the rough with the smooth and get on with it

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Those wee ones are gorgeous Handy!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Have they progressed to multiplying?

Locally they are known as Calculators.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

When we got home last Sunday we had a bit of a mystery, the stainless steel bowl we feed Shadow the Cat in had been swoped for a larger one.

On Monday morning Lady Hooray told me that when she had looked into our porch to feed Shadow the bowl had gone. She found a spare one in my garage and used that. But where had the normal bowl gone?

Later that afternoon she found the bowl half way up Hooray Lane, unfortunately Grizzly's tractor had run over it and it was now the size of a dinner tray.

Yesterday afternoon @ 3 Mrs Handy heard the someone rattling the bowl in the porch. Thinking one of the dogs had got out and was having an extra feed at the Cats expense she opened the living room door to find a tiny Fox with it's snout covered in Whiskers select cuts in Gravy.

We now know who the bowl thief is.


I said yesterday I had words with the cowboys who are doing up the Fod-Scrotums place next door to us. A week or two ago I told you how they had taken down a row of Conifers that divided us from them. Last week they cut the top out of the rest of the hedge. Now this needed doing but they did it from their side of the fence and left all the Ivy and Brambles hanging down into the lane. For the last 4 years I have cut it when required and removed all the clippings.

Tuesday night in the dark, I got my car tangled up in a whole bunch of bramble that had fallen into the lane. I have put a scratch down the full length of the car.

Yesterday I went across to have words with them and ask politely if they would clean the mess up. The chap in charge is Mick Stump who is the estate Handyman He is a weasel of a man who has been the eyes and ears of the Scrotums for years. A few weeks ago he nearly got it from Grizzly when he told him it was his own fault he's being evicted as he should pay them the increased rent and doff his hat more often

Before I had chance to say anything, he said How do you like how we are cleaning the place up for you (its the first time in 15 years the estate has done anything) You will have to go some to make your place look as good.

He went on to say You have had a machine running for couple of days? I replied Yes I have been hedging and thats what I have come to see you about. I explained what had happened and that I wasn't Happy.

No he said not our Brambles we don't plant Brambles in our Hedges. Look I said when I cut that Hedge I clean up both sides and clear the lane. Well maybe as you do such a good job he said we should have got you to do it.

He pretended to think for a moment, Who is reponsible for the road side of the Hedge anyway? isn't it the Highways department.

No I told him that ends at your gate and besides since you put up the misleading sign that makes the lane look like a private estate road the council hasn't come down this far to cut the Lane.

At this point the young chap who cut the Conifers down chipped in what about the branches overhanging the lane from your side.

In response he got a Butt out Muppet and wind your neck in from me.

I told Mick, if it had been your gaffer who scratched his car there would be hell to pay, Now stop trying to be Freaking clever with Handy and get if Freaking sorted.

If I have to come back and sort it, then as you deny responsibility for the Hedge you wont mind if I take the Chainsaw to it.

I am a Mild Mannered easy going sort of chap, but I don't do Twats. In the old days on the Construction sites I would have chinned him.

Nothing has happened yet, I'm just waiting for Lady Hooray to do her car, then when no ones around the Hedge will get very short.

It's not always quiet in the country.

Regards all, from a much calmer Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I don't do Twats

Has poor Mrs Handy been celibate for all these years...?!

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

^^^ Sorry - That wasn't a very angelic thing to say

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Has poor Mrs Handy been celibate for all these years...?!

No only since she has had her leg in pot. She won't risk it at the moment in case she gets exited and clubs me round the back of the head with it.

Figure that one out for yourself