CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[*madcat*]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy you really really must write a book. I know we keep telling you but just to remind you!!

Hope Mrs H is OK. I know how she feels about drugs - I am also very wary of side effects . Hope her medication kicks in soon, gout sounds extremely painful.

I agree Handy. You should collect all your posts off the forums and make a book of them - either you have a very colourful life or a vivid imagination, but only one of those is needed to write a good book

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, well tomorrow I am of to see my car dealer mate at cheddar.
This morning Lady Hooray asked what I was doing over the weekend. I told her I was stripping down the old engine and going to drop it on the guys foot if he doesn't come up with a suitable figure towards making the car road worthy. She asked me what he was like, I thought for a minute and said well, he owns a large farm, runs the car boot (biggest in the West Country) and has several businesses including a fishing lake, I went on to say that he looks like Claude Greengrass. A cold shudder ran through me, I realized that I should never have bought the car.



Would you buy a used car from this chap.

I have spent the afternoon ripping the old engine down. Parts of it are in remarkably good condition, it was the valve stem seals that were the problem, now some mechanics would say the cylinder head was full of sludge, I rather think it had been filled with grease, an old trick to stop an engine from smoking long enough to make a sale.



I will take the photo's and Cylinder head to show the bloke and see what happens, I will report tomorrow on the outcome.

The Swallows are doing well, If I stand quietly in a corner of the workshop the parents come whizzing by me, zoom up into the corner of the roof to be greeted by at least three hungry open mouths.They are in a better position for photo's than last year so I shall try to get some good ones to show you all by next week.

While I was cutting the bottom lawn yesterday (i had a break in the rain) one of the swallows was following me like a gull follows a fishing boat. The mower must have been disturbing insects in the grass. The swallow was flying so low the tips of its wings kept touching the ground. The flying skills of these birds are incredible.

We have fox cubs in the woods, I mistook one for Cassie the young border Terrier, I thought it was cassie sat 5 feet in front of me, then I saw cassie on the other side of the clearing. The Fox cub was watching her that intently that it wasn't until I tuned the torch on it was aware of me. I recon Mummy fox wasn't far away, I think there are 3 young ones, thankfully the Fod Scrotums are so broke they have made their Game Keeper redundant.

Another wildlife photo project methinks.

Regards all, Handy.

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

either you have a very colourful life or a vivid imagination.

Very much the 1st one *madcat* i think, although i'll wait for Handy to say for sure.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi Swanny, where did the Madcat quote come from? In answer if I were a fly on the wall, I wouldn't believe my own life. I always use to say if someone says to you It's true I'm telling you, then it's a fib.

Believe me or believe it not all my stories are true, I could tell you about when I caught a Burglar in an empty house next to where I lived and scared the sheese out of him with a replica pistol, or when Mrs Handy cracked another burglar over the head with an antique Flat Iron, no one is going to believe us. I will admit to changing names to protect the site and the guilty (yours truly) from the chance of being identified.

I will admit however to being a joker, sometime folks don't know if its a Handy tall story or the Truth. If it is a tall story I will normally admit to it at some point.

I hope this clarifies things a little (confuses the sh1t out of me)

Regards, Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi Swanny, where did the Madcat quote come from? In answer if I were a fly on the wall, I wouldn't believe my own life. I always use to say if someone says to you It's true I'm telling you, then it's a fib.

I'm guessing that the post was deleted...

Anyway, we wouldn't care if you're talking outta your arse...you're stories keep us amused

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I'm guessing that the post was deleted...

Er, nope this one--> #346

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Er, nope this one--> #346

I've obviously not been paying much attention

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Firstly Sorry madcat I wasn't being funny in my last post, I do have a vivid imagination and a very colorful life. It's just that so much happens to me without invitation. I lead a very quite life these days compared to how I used to be. Maybe it's my imagination that can make a story out of the everyday or maybe trouble has a way of finding me.

Anyhows update on today. I went to see the chap who sold me the New Car. He had another 10 cars on his lot, if they had been there the day we went I wouldn't have touched them with a bargepole.



Apart from the vans all the cars had a sign in the windsreen that said they had only had one careful Lady owner Must have been Lady Boudica


I showed him the photo's of the old engine, his reply was "they don't mean a thing to me" He went on to say well I ran it for a week before I drove it down to your place. When I bought it he said he had used it as personal transport for a month. The the story about where he bought it from changed along with Well It had a lady owner. I said well it's some blokes name on the logbook. The upshot was he has increased his offer to £200 against the £1,150 it has cost to make roadworthy and as he had no cash on him he would have to send me a cheque. Now a few years ago I would have blown, but it's difficult I can't hang about on site like this complaining about the tactics of DCA's then use the same tactics myself. All I did today was hand him a bigger spade, He's digging the hole himself now. Next port of call, the local trading standards officer. BTW No Cash he had the takings of @ 1,000 cars at £1.00 each to park at his car boot sale and @ 500 stalls the cheapest stall is £8.00 It's £20.00 for a market trader and there were lots of them. Why do people assume if you are polite and reasonable your thick

Before i go I have to tell you this chap not only dresses like Claude but even had a Dog that Looks like Alfred.Can't even start to explain what a prat I feel like.

Regards all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi Swanny I don't know how I did it but I missed madcats post first time round, I thought it had been deleted as well..
Anyway I hope I have gone some way to making amends. I will have to blame stella for making me miss madcats post. Well its better than saying I should have gone to Specsavers

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I've obviously not been paying much attention

No change there.

And you thanked it.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I'll have to blame the exhustion...

[diddlydee]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Just a little diddly tip. If someone quotes another person, one of these babies appears in the quote box -----> Click it, and it takes you to the post which has been quoted

We once had a wall built by a local "Jack of all trades" named Colin who hubby had met in the local pub, and he looked a lot like your car dealer. His instruction was to build a wall to surround the shed, and to include a small step to make entry into the shed easier. The shed had been built on a small concrete platform.

"Arrrrrh" he said, "No problem".

Work commenced and from my office window I could see him arriving at about 11am. He took a 2 hour lunch at about 12pm, and left for home at about 3pm. During his long and arduous working day, quite a bit of time was spent leaning on a garden shovel, and staring at his "work". The shed, being set in a recess, was beyond my view, so I just let him get on with it. It took him the whole week to build it, so I assumed it really would be some sort of masterpiece!

Hubby returned from working away the following weekend and went to examine his new wall. It didn't look too bad until we realised that the wall had been built too high and too close to the shed, and therefore the shed door couldn't be opened. Also he had ripped up a beautiful yellow rose bush, which had existed for decades.

"How much are you paying this cowboy" I asked hubby. "Dunno" he said, "I was just working on trust and a handshake."

He returned from the pub (where Colin seemed to live) an hour later and £200 skinter.

"£200 ???" I exclaimed in shock, for what was truly shoddy workmanship. "I thought I'd done well" said hubby, "He wanted £500!"

Now, had we employed the services of a proper builder, the wall would probably have cost £100, and actually been fit for purpose. We had to dismantle half of it (which was surprisingly easy to do) just to open the friggin' shed door.

Lesson learned: don't ever do business with a man you meet in a pub; especially if said man leans on the bar for most of the night.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, now I should be writing a funny or interesting story. Instead I am going to talk about the Family again and what could be an interesting couple of days.

Remember I had a rant (which one) about the money I lent Step Son Trapfly (circus trapeze artist to set up his Burger Empire with a rented Burger Van.

I told him we could only afford to loan him the cash for 6 weeks until he got his bank loan through (I knew if was a fib as they needed his statement of earnings for the Tax year, and that letters and fines are waiting for him at his brothers oop North as he hasn't sen in a return yet.

His brother Jon the Con was working with him for a few weeks until they had a big fall out, Jon wanted paying for his time. His reward was to be left in the laybye and a 20 mile walk home.

I had heard on the grapevine that he was thinking of packing it in as he thought the folks that were renting him the van were charging two much. Several of us told him he needed to see the books before he took this on, but all we got was I know what I'm doing. For the last month he has been posting on FB about the festivals he is going to do this summer, so I guessed that this was coming.

Now we get a phone call saying he is coming to see us tomorrow as he has to prepare and sell his motor bike in order to repay us. I on't argue but why can't he do it where he is? well Glastonbury is only 30 miles away and after that it's the Feast of Fools in Wiltshire. Nothing like free food and board for few days, and if it's like Christmas when we saw him last, 6 months of not just dirty but stinking laundry. He lives in the back of a Transit Van. As for the bike I intend to remind him that his Mum lent him £200 towards it until an insurance claim was paid, so when he does sell it we also want that back as well.

The simple thing to do would be for me to sell the bike for him and then send on anything over.

Bet when I suggest it he runs a mile. It's not that he's a child either he's fast approaching 40.

I don't want his Mum running around after him, Mrs Handy is still poorly with her leg. The Doctors says it isn't Gout and he doesn't know whats causing the pain and swelling. Her whole leg is swollen and she can hardly walk. I want her to go back to the Hospital as I am rapidly running out of faith in our own GP Practice.

So I may be too busy to post for a few days, if you see a mushroom cloud on the horizon you will know Handy has exploded.

Regards to all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.



In case you wondered if this is one of Handy's tall tales. This is Trapfly. He is talented at what he does, shame he causes so much grief to the rest of the family while he does it.

Regards all, enjoy the show.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well not the day Handy expected, Well it rained and I got wet, nothing new in that. Mrs Handy's leg is still bad, but finally we got a Doctor to get her an emergency referral to the Hospital. Its still as bad but at least we feel closer to getting it sorted.

Trapfly didn't turn up. No message from him until his mum rang him at Tea Time. Not coming until Friday now. He asked if I had an Ebay account as he is advertising Motor Bike on Ebay, but he has forgot his password and cant get into his account. He needs someones account for payment to be made to. Replies on the back of a £5.00 note if you think there is something wrong with this plan. It's no good trying to explain to Mrs Handy how easy it is to re-set a password as she is a total technophobe and wouldn't believe that if he won't use his own account then there is something dodgy.

He admited to giving up the Burger Van, is off to a New Age Traveler wedding in Norfolk, several festivals and the France to go Para Gliding. But he hasn't made a penny over the last 5 months. Yeh right.

I'm glad he didn't turn up as I sold my old Car today. I made a nice profit on it as well. Mind you I need it to pay for what it has cost to sort the new one. If Trapfly had been here you can guess he wouldn't have been so keen to pay his debts and would probably asked for a contribution to his French trip.

Now I know we are all here in one way or another because of debt, and me going on about how much the family cost me must make me seem like a troll at times. I think perhaps I'm not the only one that has been put into debt by the actions of friends or family when you have tried to help, or to keep the peace with spouses.

If they were kids or teenagers I could bear it, the youngest is now 32. They still think Mrs H is a money tree, I have to keep reminding them that she is officially 7 years over the retirement age for women.

That's it for now. lets hope tomorrow runs as smooth.

Regards all, Handy.