CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.



Time to post the next photo in the Hooray Hall Calendar, I can't believe we have so many Roses out already. The display in a couple of weeks time will be terrific.

Feel free to copy or go to Photobucket and download.

Regards to all, Handy.

[MustGetStraigh]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, the last couple of days have been exhausting. Kiddlies were great, had us in stitches, shame I can't say the same about the adults who have Mrs Handy wrapped around their little fingers We (SHE) bought the Kids new clothes and shoes. Put a weeks shopping in the larder, and then Sil goes on about how the DMP they are on now is helping and now he will have the cash to put up a new fence at his parents.
On top of all this I could still smell the Herbal Tobacco he's growing in his garage.

Fed up doesn't even come close.

On a lighter note got the 2 labs back from the kennels and took them for a walk down on the beach this afternoon. Chill out time.

Regards to all, Handy.

Handy you have the patience of the proverbial. I really don't know how you do it. I think the fence would have finished me off! At least the grandkids are OK, they are so lucky to have your influence when they have parents like that.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I was sent this Via Face Book

This year JULY has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So Copy this to your status and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese Feng Shui. The one who does not copy,...will be without money...

Yeh Right.

Like the Gypsy who collared me once and said buy a lucky plastic cat. This charm had lost 1/2 it's tail, a leg and a painted eye had been rubbed off. I said look at the state of it, what's lucky about that.

After I had crossed her palm with a fiver to get rid of her, she said you are going to be depressed, skint and p'd off until your 40.

Great I said what happens when I'm 40, "You will be used to it by then" she told me.

She finished by telling me September the 4th would be my lucky day, she couldn't tell me what year though.

Regards to all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, we have had problems with Lady Hooray again. Reverting back to Queen Baitch.

Mrs Handy had to go for breast screening at the local Hospital, Lady H was out so we shut up the Hall. When we got back Lady H was steaming as she couldn't get in. I had left the key in the agreed place, but she had forgot to look. She was only kept waiting for 20 minutes but she swore blind it was nearly an hour. (left at 11.15 back at 11.50)

If I go out I always take a key with me, I suppose if my place was worth 3.5M I wouldn't take a key with me

She started to have a go at Mrs Handy in front of Lady H's grandson, I suppose she was thinking this would teach the youngster how to deal with ones servants

Mrs Handy is not one to be messed with so she told her where to get off and walked out.

Later Her Ladyship said I can't possibly remember all Mrs Handy's Hospital appointments. I replied you were reminded twice yesterday and you expect us to always remember yours.

I've been so busy she said getting young Cromwell (grandson) ready to go back to school.
She's had him for 1 day and as for getting him ready that's a first. Her own Kids were packed off to boarding School as soon as they were out of nappies. When she lived in Africa she didn't see her eldest for over a year. (would have been @ 10 at the time).

When Mrs Handy had to stop work for a while last year her replacement robbed her blind, we warned her what her new employee was like. She was a young girl mid 20's who said she was an experience nurse. She may have worked in a care home for a while but she certainly wasn't qualified. Mrs Handy was a ward sister, who later was a warden in a sheltered housing complex so we know who really has experience.

She used to miss days after long weekends (she was into the rave scene). Even Stepson John the Con remarked that she was a Space Cadet (wannabee Stoner) as it turned out she knew a lot of the same people he knows. (You would cross the road to avoid them).

His Lordship liked her, Low cut tops and she had the job of washing his dangly bits.
I could go on, It turned out she was getting paid twice the rate of Mrs H.

Lady Hooray helped get her a flat in town and gave her money to get a car, then after Christmas she never came back to work. After a couple of weeks she phoned up asking to come back to work. Then she did a moonlight leaving unpaid rent and a lot of locals out of pocket.

Last week she said she wished she had listened to us. Some folks never learn.

For the Record, I'm Mrs H's toy boy
She passed retirement age 7 years ago.

This afternoon I drove young Cromwell Hooray to one of his School friends where he is staying for a few days before going back to boarding school.

His friend is called Harry Highgrove and his mother is called Camilla.
No relation to HRH, when I pulled up the mile long drive I was scared to get out of the car in case I bruised the gravel or the set they dogs on me for being working class.

The place made Hooray Hall look like a hovel. (I made a point of telling her Ladyship this when she asked me what the people were like).

Lets see what tomorrow brings, Mrs Handy has done most of the work today anyway. 3 King size beds, Kitchen cleaned, Hall and Library hoovered and dusted.

Lady H has @ 20 coming over on Friday for a Wedding Lunch. Lets see if she can get the place ready on her own.

Update again tomorrow, Handy.

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Awww Handy, that Lady (I use the word loosely ) is a right cow!! Big hugs from me

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I can't wait for the 'Wedding Lunch' update!!

I worked a weekend job for a couple of snobs who were having a weekend long party to celebrate the 30th year at the house they were in - They were crap payers but they were quick enough to give 'The Girls' countless glasses of wine! She had to have an eye op a couple of weeks before the party so she had an eye patch made that would match her dress.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

So come on Handy...how did the Royal Wedding lunch go?!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

So come on Handy...how did the Royal Wedding lunch go?!

Without a Hitch, There was a load of Peed up Hooray's who thought Catherine was marrying above her station.

I would like to tell you a conversation I heard last week between Lady Hooray and the Honorable Edward Small-Wealth.

They were talking about the program Meet The Middletons, they were on about Kate (sorry Catherine's) Great Aunt, who is about as normal working class as you can get.

Lady H said well every family has poor relations, she's probably never met her. The Hon Edward (Spitting Image of Michael Winner) Said My dear I have met all of my Great Aunts (probably to tap them up for a few quid).

Well said Lady H She's certainly out of her league, Marrying much to far above her station.

This is the same person who had just told her 15 year old grand daughter that the only way a woman of her class can be successful and happy is to marry a rich man. (she should know having done it 3 times)

The Honorable Small -Wealth tells everyone he is a Republican, His wife who is a lovely woman even though she is a total Screwball is really a Lady, her Family owns most of the South Bank of Loch Ness.

There was this time when Small - Wealth phoned Lady H to say he was bringing her a French Tart. She thought this would be delicious, until he turned up with a Hatchet Faced French Bird in her 60's who was his latest Conquest. Can you keep her hidden here for a few days he asked as My Wife is coming back from the London House early.

He had arranged for her to come over in the back of a French Joiners Van who was doing some work for him. (very romantic). Handy has some experience in subterfuge and I have often thought this was an act to settle the Old Lord Hoorays suspicions that something may be going on.

Who say's life is quiet in the country.

Regards, Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I try to look at your thread everyday and I get disappointed when you've not posted...come on Handy, tell Lady Stuck-Up to give you some time off so you can tell some more stories!!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all. Hi Angelic, sorry I haven't posted for a few days. Busy trying to keep the right side of Mrs Handy. (not doing too well).

I have been trying to nurse a paraplegic Magpie back to health and that has taken up a fair bit of time. Sadly yesterday morning it went to the big Avery in the sky.

Yesterday while I was up in the woods getting rid of a trailer load of grass clippings and Mrs Handy was working in the Hall, we had a visit from the Jehova's witnesses.

Now I will never knock anyones believes and religion, and I must say I admire their ability to handle rejection.

Mrs H heard Lady Hoorays terriers going mad at the gate so went to investigate. There was a young chap with a copy of the Watchtower in his hand trying to get through the gate without getting his ankles chewed. There was a young girl in the courtyard in her car shouting don't go in it's not worth it.

Mrs Handy asked him what he wanted, To leave you a copy of our book he said. You should keep your dogs under better control he added.

And you should go to Spec Savers said Mrs Handy, what does the sign say on the gate your leaning over. The chap stood back. It says Dogs Running Lose, Enter at your own Risk.

Well you didn't see it but at least you can read said the Mrs.

Funny he never left us a copy.

Regards, Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I feel relieved now I've had my 'daily fix' of Handy!

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Me too, thanks Handy

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

It says Dogs Running Lose, Enter at your own Risk.

My sign says never mind the dogs, beware of the owner.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

My sign says never mind the dogs, beware of the owner.

I almost got a sign once that said never mind the dogs, beware of the wife!
We have a thunderstorm here thats lasted for over 4 hours, poor dogs are plating their legs. I hope it passes soon so I can get them out for a pee.

Back to normal with the boss. Today I got Mrs Handy a new cooker off ebay. It means I will have to alter some cupboards and get some gas bottles mounted on an outside wall. Her ladyship went spare, I dont want to look at your cottage and see those ugly things stuck on the wall. In my garden I have two 2500 litre gas tanks that run the heating in the hall, but she cant see them, but I have to put up with them.

Tomorrow she's looking at a Farm house about 10 miles away. She thinks at 1.1m it would be a good investment to do up. I had a look at the estate agents website. The house and land probably needs the same spending on it to do up. The 3 bedroom cottage that goes with it is to die for. Its just been a grand design. Minstrel Gallery and Vaulted ceiling.

Theres no chance she will go for it (thankfully as Handy knows how much work he would have to do) Besides one cant have ones staff too comfortable.

I never thought buying the Mrs a new cooker would get me in the good books. Mind you it is a 6 burner and double oven range, and before you think Handy's minted £50 from ebay.

Cheap aint I.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

You bought the wife a new cooker...how, em thoughtful of you Handy!




*wanders away wondering why Handy didn't buy his good lady a nice bit of bling instead...?