CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

What's the granite city then?

Is that Scottish for a dump?!

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Naw I dinnae bide een slumdee

LOL

SC
PS. Trying to fix netbook ready for hols...so far it's taken 3 hours and not finished ...21 updates at last reboot....took about an hour

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, Handy here again with another one of his works of Fiction. Well I thought in view of this post I had better get that one in right away.

You will remember how I said we were having problems with our neighbours the Fod - Scrotums.

Well not really problems more annoyances. You will remember my post allaboutFORUMS - View Single Post - Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman. About our other neighbours, that were renting the farm house next door from the Scrotums and how they were leaving as they couldn’t get any work done, even though she was a Solicitor. Well they moved out about 6 weeks ago, within a few days the Surveyors and Architects were in making plans to turn it into a holiday complex.

Last Monday the estate tree surgeon moved in an took down all the trees separating us from them. Now the trees are on their side of the Lane, but now anyone can get a clear view all the way up our drive and along the bottom lawn. The trees also acted as a noise barrier keeping the volume of the generators and grain dryer at the farm down.

My friends would not sleep in one of the rooms during high winds because the Chimney used to sway and was in immanent danger of collapse , One of the window frames was held in the wall by wooden wedges because the frame was so rotten. Today scaffolding went up to repair the chimney and I saw the joiner measuring up the window frames.

Word is they are preparing it for a short let while they get the money together to start the conversions.
My friends were paying £1,100 per month in rent.

In the last year they have put out several Long term tenants in order to turn their homes into holiday lets.

On Thursday, Grizzly the local lumberjack who rents a barn next door for his logging business brought us a load of logs. He used to have a place at the Scrotums home farm and was made to move his business when they wanted his barn for one of their friends to store furniture.

He had to shut down for nearly 2 months while he relocated. He wasn’t in a position to argue as he is also a tenant.

Grizzly is the one who looks like he has just left the set of Brave Heart.

Not Kidding he really looks like this, A Red Haired, Bearded Giant, only soft spoken with a West Country burr.

He used to work for the Scrotums until during one argument with young Master Tarquin Fod - Scrotum, Tarquin pulled his beard. Grizzly lifted him off the floor with one hand around his neck and held him till he stopped squeaking. Since then he has worked for himself.

I asked Grizzly how he was, He replied not good as he had just been given notice to quit his cottage.
He had been offered another estate cottage, ( I know it to be a Hovel) providing he agreed to his rent being increase from £440 to £750 per month.

Let me tell you at this point Grizzly is bringing up his 9 year old son on his own, and a nicer Father and Son you could not wish to meet.

He told me he had been to the local housing association. They were very apologetic, but as they have a limited housing stock, and an obligation to house EEC migrants first, they had nothing to offer him.

He has been to his bank (23 years with them, business assets of over 65K and a 10% deposit) to see if he could get a modest mortgage. The Bank Manager offered him a loan of 40k. It’s a house I need he told the manager, not a F’ing Garden shed.

On his way out the Manager told him that they could do him a very good deal on contents insurance if he was interested. Grizzly bust out laughing. He said if I were to put everything I have out on the lawn and burn it, I could replace it all next day for a couple of hundred quid.
It makes me wonder if some of these people are real.

I gave him what advice I could about finding a mortgage and how banks only have 1 product to offer, their own.

About this time Lady Hooray’s friend the Honourable Edward Smallwealth called for lunch. He rents a workshop from the Scrotums and has also been given notice as they need the space for a personal project.

He asked Grizzly if he was going to appeal. What’s the point the replied. They will just go ahead and do what they like, besides I am just so fed up of all the fighting, I cant wait to get away.

Just to let you know what these folks are like, Master Tarqin is set to inherit one day. The Family have had the estate since the 12th century. When his Farther retired he took over the running of the estate.

These days his wife runs things as the Trustees and Bank won’t allow him anywhere near the controls. Trust me she is no better.
Since we have been here he has had 3 projects stopped because he never applied for planning permission.

The Environment Agency shut down one project because he never thought to apply for the necessary licences. He has been fined for polluting the water supply and is a pariah amongst the local Building Inspectors.

He used Lottery money to build a Cob Barn and tried to hide a modern metal barn inside.

I could go on. He has stood several times for the Lib Dems in Local elections, recently he was expelled from the local part as he has become too much of an embarrassment.

He will probably move over to the Tories now. He was at School with Cameron and our Local MP, Cromwell Wetwind. You may remember that he was the one who claimed 12k on expenses to have a gas pipe under his Croquet Lawn replaced. He was absent from the house during the debates on members expenses, preferring to go to his second Job as executive tea boy at a very large and famous private bank.

So you can see what we are up against. The local peasantry hasn’t got a chance.
I bet you thought all this died out in the 17th Century.

The only chance for change is that the estate is virtually bust if not already insolvent.
They are pinning their hopes on Holiday lets. One property is advertised at £6,500 per week. Up to now they have only has 1 weeks let in their smallest property.

Meanwhile tenants of years have to go home hunting. I bet Grizzly would like to Summer in Nice and Winter in St Maritz.

If any mod thinks this post could do some good somewhere else, please feel free to move or copy.

Regards all, Handy.

Soapbox away for the night now.

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Och sorry to hear of your woes...Regards to Grizzly...sounds a lovely chap...

Can't he squat?

Or homeschool?

Call them DB in need a quad ideas but I thought I'd through them into the melaie....

So yeah...leg okay yesterday (till I speed walked down town and back ...now feels like there's something under the skin of the ankle yet there's nothing...

Have order 5% nic juice...I'm going hardcore..ask FD if he wants a provari - well 3 in fact - 1 for him, one for you and one for me. I'll give TF my torch mod that needs 5ps and pennies to make it work....LOL...the prof (that's the torch mod's name)

Anyhow best go and debate pain killers LOL

and is it me or is it autumn?

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Evening All, time for Handy's news at 10:55

No it won't be a rant or a moan tonight. It's a time for a bit of reflection. Tomorrow it will be a year since Lord Hooray passed away. I swear blind I sometimes see him stood in the shadows by the gate, checking I'm still grafting hard enough.

I had my moments with him, which were increasing in frequency as his physical and mental condition got worse. But there were many more times we swapped stories about the Army, Huntin, Shootin and Fishin. He was a true gent (at least to me) they said that in his younger days he would have eaten Murdoch for breakfast. He counted every penny he ever paid me, but I can't complain about his generosity. There was always a drink in it for every extra job I did and a case of wine and scotch to help out at Christmas.

Yes he was old School Gentry, but had always worked for a living taking the Family firm into the FT top 100.

In the end his infirmity got the better of him and he was ready to give up.

Those who remember my posts on MSE will remember that the way his Funeral was organised and the way the Vultures descended to fight over their inheritance.

I think even his Family has forgotten that tomorrow is the first anniversary, not even Lady H has mentioned it.

Well Gaffer, you got me started on Vintage Port, when you let me sample some 50 year I got up from the Cellar for you.
Well Tonight Handy has a Glass of Port in his hand.
Nowhere near as good as yours, but the best Handy has ever had.

So here's to you Boss, I hope it's Colder where you are now, than where you said you were going.

You once told me the Devil looked after his own
You were better than that.

Regards All, Handy.

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I remember it well Handy......is it really a year ago!!

I'm join you in a glass or three of port, cheers matey

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

If you add some blue WKD to that port, I'll join you for a 'cheeky vimto'!

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

If you add some blue WKD to that port, I'll join you for a 'cheeky vimto'!

Here you go

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well thank you friends.. I never thought as Port as Vimto before, but your right. Vimto with a Kick. Angelic as it happens I have a bottle of WKD Blue in the cupboard for folks who like that sort of thing. I will be in trouble tomorrow for Drinking too much (again) but Hey Ho. I was 18 last time I lost a day with a Hang over.

So here's to the Old Chap.

Who shall we drink to next?

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well thank you friends.. I never thought as Port as Vimto before, but your right. Vimto with a Kick. Angelic as it happens I have a bottle of WKD Blue in the cupboard for folks who like that sort of thing. I will be in trouble tomorrow for Drinking too much (again) but Hey Ho. I was 18 last time I lost a day with a Hang over.

So here's to the Old Chap.

Who shall we drink to next?

If you mix the port and blue WKD, it tastes like vimto

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

If you mix the port and blue WKD, it tastes like vimto

I believe it, when I was up your way last someone introduced me to Iron Brew and Southern Comfort.
Talk about mixing your drinks

You would probably have been at School when Maggot and myself used to Crash at Jimmy Gilligans House. One School morning his Daughters brought their friends into the living room where we were all laid out. This is Maggot, This is Findlay, Turnbull and Handy. And this is what happens to you when you grow up and get Pisshed

Oh Happy Days

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Has it been that long since you've been here that you've forgotten how to spell Irn-Bru?!

An friend of mine used to mix cider with diluting juice to try to hide the taste

[swanfan]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I believe it, when I was up your way last someone introduced me to Iron Brew and Southern Comfort.

The only thing u should've with SoCo is ice.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

What's the granite city then?

Is that Scottish for a dump?!

No, that's Stonehaven. l

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Who shall we drink to next?

How about a painful death for Murdoch?