CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Drinks?

My sister had one of these things and she had to shove a syringe of stuff up her arse and hold it in for as long as she could

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH
We have a lift to go 10 feet up from the courtyard to the house so she doesn't have to walk up 5 steps and a slope carrying 2 shiterose carrier bags, she would expect someone to administer a sryinge No Duff when the old fellow had to use a pee bag, guess who got the job of changing it? He was embarrassed as hell, so I made a joke of it. I asked if I could include it on my CV.
Stupid Man he said you've always been the official piss taker.

I guessed that the trampoline went ok when I read the kiddlies had been boinging all over the place. I hope it warms up soon so they can get the full use of it.

Regards, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, well it’s been a pretty carp day. At half past 8 this morning D step daughter was on the phone asking Mrs Handy if we could get a weeks shop for her on line as she hadn’t a thing in the house to feed the kids with. Now this is the same DD that was left 50K by her Father just a year ago, the same one as I paid GS nursery fees for last October and Mrs Handy got £300 worth of Christmas presents from her club for the kids till on the promise she would pay her back when they came down at Christmas. Mrs H also took out a loan to help pay for the Wedding (without telling Handy).

Last year I told SIL he needed to change banks as he was being hit with £750 + charges per month and get on a DPM. They waited until January before contacting CCS. It’s sorted now but he’s still with the same bank , So when his pay arrived this month it all went in charges again, hence this mornings call for help and another £90 from the Handy’s

Now I really wouldn’t mind and I will do anything for the Gran kids (Step) I suppose never having any of my own I overindulge them. But If I tell you SIL, has a Herbal Tobacco factory worth 3k every 8 weeks and sells knocked off diesel for £15 for 5 gallons (@100 gallons a week). I don’t condone any of this but really cant understand how they have got into this mess.

DD lent SIL’s brother quite a lot and when they asked for it back were told to sod of, don’t you realise we are on a DMP as well.

I am sorry to say and disgusted as well that a lot of chavs now look on a DMP with the same Cred as an ASBO

SIL has been off work since before Christmas with a bad Back, now anyone with a bad back has my enduring sympathy, but not someone who can spend all day working underneath a mates car. One of the reasons he got into problems in the first place was a couple of years ago his car got nicked. And burned out. The insurance refused to pay out, Nothing to do with the fact that this was the 4th time in as many years. ( I know who he paid to make it vanish)

Then last week son number 3 called in on his way to do some Circus work. This is the one who borrowed £800 less than a month ago to set up a sandwich business. His partner Son No 4 has gone back on the smack and had run away with the takings. Son No 3 is the same one who borrowed £ 200 at Christmas while his insurance came through on a motor bike and would pay back within a week, then couldn’t when he realised he didn’t have any work!

Handy is ready to divorce his Family and the Rest of Humanity.
I might write a book How to go Broke without really trying.

I wonder if any of them will give me a hand out in a couple of weeks when I have to take my car off the road?

Regards all, Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

There's a woman across the road in a similar situation with her son - not quite on the same scale as you right enough but I keep telling the same thing - stop giving him money.

She buys him 40 fags a day, paid off all the stuff he got on HP, gives him money every day without fail etc - She's freaking out now because he owes them x amount with no way of paying it back.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Morning All, Handy's feeling a little better this morning. Still steaming about yesterday but just not as fed up. I just wish they would all grow up and find some backbone. Mrs Handy worked hard to support them on her own. Maybe if she hadn't tried so hard things would have been better. They are all between 30 and 40 years old and a total waste of Oxygen.

I have told them how will they cope when she's no linger around to clean up their messes.
But it just seems to fall on deaf ears.

Catch you all later, Regards Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Poor Handy! Must be made even worse when you're bailing them out & they're not even your's. Mrs H needs to use some tough love I think.....they sound like a great bunch I just don't get how they get away with all the scams. I know what you mean about the babes though - there's no way you couldn't help them. I think I could help you with a couple of chapter's for your book though, I've learnt quite a few ways lol

Lovely day here just catching up with a cuppa then going back in the garden - sitting! Oh I am so pleased I did the hard work a couple of weeks ago.....catch up later, FAW

[MustGetStraigh]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy I don't know how you put up with them, I think I would have lost patience and told them to get lost a long time ago (not known for my charm and diplomacy always!). You and Mrs H have the patience of saints.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, Handy here. Now please don’t think cos I’ve not been around much this weekend it’s cos I have had the blues or the sulks on because of my problems. I’m not like that. Its just I have been very busy and at the moment although I’m in a very positive frame of mind But I am very tired.

Last Night I lit the log Burner about 8 and at half 10 Mrs Handy and myself woke up and went to bed.

Yesterday was good , Oldest (Step) Son came down from Brighton to take Mrs H and myself to Lunch. He brought the biggest bunch of flowers you have ever seen and a book that still has Mrs Handy laughing even though she’s read it cover to cover twice. He is a sound chap, I just wish his brothers would take after him.

After Friday’s blow up with Lady Hooray, On Saturday she took Mrs H to the local garden centre and asked her which set of chairs and table she would like for our garden. On Saturday she came back with £500 quid’s worth of furniture for our patch of garden. She said this was a gift for all the work we have put in over the last year. My heads totally done in.

On Saturday, Mrs Handy calmly told me that youngest son was coming to visit at the end of April and bringing his estranged 5 year old daughter. This means he will stay for a least at week. Little one is on the at risk register as the mother and all her grown up family are smack heads. Last time she was here we bought her all new clothes as there wasn’t even a spare pare of knickers let alone anything else that would fit.

Then We got the youngest son a car (cheapo but solid runabout) as he said this would help him find work. It got crushed at Christmas (he has never told us ) because he was running it untaxed. On his last visit he thanked me for the car by nicking two sovereign and one gold rings and the raiding Mrs H’s coin Jar.:

Visit, I think Not. Not this time. This guy got everyone in the family a present this Christmas and then announced I nicked something to an equal value for each of you. Believe it or not he shop lifts from Charity Shops.

If it wasn’t for his Mum He’s the sort you would cross the road to avoid saying good morning to.

Why am I telling you all this, I am ashamed that he is part of our family but as Mrs H says he is still her son. Even Jeremy Kyle would stay clear of this one. But Look at it this way writing it up here is my therapy, I keeps me sane.

Anyway Now you know a bit more about the life of Handy. Back to gardening tomorrow. I played a blinder with the Bamboo and tree pruning today, at least my back’s telling me I did.

Regards all, Handy.

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Awww Handy, the things you put up with my darling.......big hugs from me

[LooLoo]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Ah handy you are really one in a million trillion...............

xx

[MustGetStraigh]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well what a result with the garden furniture. Some people aren't worth trying to understand are they? Why can't Mrs Hooray be like that all the time (maybe she realises, deep down, that she's a right royal PITA. Do you think she has discovered this forum lol?).

How terrible about stepson's daughter - what chance does she have, poor thing.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well what a result with the garden furniture. Some people aren't worth trying to understand are they? Why can't Mrs Hooray be like that all the time (maybe she realises, deep down, that she's a right royal PITA. Do you think she has discovered this forum lol?).

How terrible about stepson's daughter - what chance does she have, poor thing.

OMG I hope Not

The little one doesn't have much of a chance, The Mother is a mid 40's Junkie with a grown up family, I think the eldest lad is @25 and then there are 2 girls 1@ 20 and 1 now mid teens all on the crap. We could never see what Jon the Con saw in here apart from the plastic chest. She's a 6 foot stick insect with boobs. It,s a real horror story. Wouldn't be bad but he has a lovely teenage daughter to a former partner, who although not as bad now lives on and off with a local gangster and spends her weekends clubbing powered by Speed and E'es.

They say that Sh1t finds it's own level.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement. Handy is getting at least part of his Mojo back.
Though I'm not sure what part.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Glad some of your mojo's back Handy! Sunny weekend ahead I hear so you'll get chance to sit on your new furniture. Has Lady H been good to you this week?
It's funny but me & OH were having a discussion about a local drug dependant con artist & he said his mum will be ashamed of him, I said yes she will but she'll probably always love him. That's the score with a Mum's love (by that I mean a true mum not one whos a junkie who thinks it's ok to bring up junkies) no matter how upset they make you they're yours to protect so I can see Mrs H always hoping they'll behave like they were brought up someday. I'm very grateful mine turned out with no such problems but I'm always mindful they're ok, can't stand it when they have problems lol How many grandchildren do you have?
Going for a catch up on the diaries, bye for now FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, well tonight I promise not to go on about my erstwhile family, well not too much anyway. I don’t want to get boring. Anyway all is quiet at the moment, they tend only to phone their mum when they want something.

FAW in answer to your question and I have to take my shoes and socks off for this as I haven’t enough fingers. 9 Grand kids and 1 adopted as a Grand kid. (step grand kids to me). It’s amazing that they have all turned out fine, well apart from one and If you ever met his mum the internet stalker you would know why. They older ones are fine young adults that any parent could be proud of. Even son No 2 who the first time I met him took the kids Xbox away while they were playing with it saying it needed fixing, an excuse to swap it for a £5 wrap of smack.:

They still love him to bits even though they know what he is and that he will never change. His daughter is a terrific 14 year old with a 40 year old head on her shoulders say’s if ever there was a warning what can happen she only has to think of her dad to keep on the straight and narrow.

Anyway back to life at the Hall, whatever her Ladyships on I want a gallon. I think she knows how close she came to seeing Handy lose his rag last week.explode2:

Lord Hoorays sons came over on Monday to collect his Lordships belongings. A lot they sent straight to auction, but the rest they agued and fought over. It was like a jumble sale. All the bits I had carefully packed were spread over the flagstones in the courtyard. I had the petrol wood chipper going and I could hear them even with my ear defenders on. It was a grab to see who could get the best bits. The old fellow must be turning in his grave.

Captain Hise and Hinds (Master of Fox Hounds) the second son was walking round the hall saying is this mine, I want that painting. Fair dues to her Ladyship she told him where to get off.

The eldest son snagged most of the family Jewellery, This belonged to his Lordships Great Grand, Grand and Mother. I don’t know what it’s value was but now it’s gone off the premises I can tell you her Ladyship told me that the Household insurance will be 1k cheaper now it’s gone.

Handy is surrounded by excess, I keep thinking come the revolution brother! Folks like the Hooray sons and certain politicians live in a little bubble and think everyone is the same as them.

After the antics of the sons, I was minded of the last time the oldest son visited the old Lord. He was complaining about the high cost of School fees for his 3 boys. The go to that School in Windsor, the one where they make the kids wear Top Hats and Tail coats for school uniform. I think our PM and Chancellor went there. Without a word the old Chap wrote him a check for 300k to help out with the expense. Today I google’d the fees at this School just short of 54K a year per child.

Whats wrong with Gasworks Road Comprehensive where Handy went to school, never did me any harm, It was a good School it was Approved

They say it’s the best Education money can buy. Well you never hear of any one leaving without a GCSE, allegedly you don’t even need to be there to get one. Our neighbour Sir Jeremy Fod Scrotum also went to the same school and he’s done a Stirling job of running the estate into the ground.

Lord Hoorays sons got a first in the Ins, Huntin, Shootin, Fishin, and Wenchin. I wonder what our PM and Chancellor passed in. Bet it wasn't in running a country.

Enough ramblin for now. The old Handyman has had another long day. Major improvments to the Orchard, the Porch is nearly finished., and the paths in the wood have been cut.

Regards to all, Handy.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Come on Handy...must be time for another installment!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Well as the sun was shining today, Handy decided it was time he got his big one out and let it see daylight for the first time since last August.

I had to move everything from the back of the tractor shed to reach it, then clean all the dust and cobwebs off. It didn't take long to get it working again as it may not get a lot of use but it's very reliable. Now I don't want folks to get jealous or exited but it has a massive 32 inch cylinder and does a fantastic job.

I thought some of you might be interested in seeing a photo of Handy's beast.





Isn't that a great Lawn mower.

Well what did you think I meant.