CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi Handy,
Your tales are eye openers. The Hoorays don't give a damn about people do they? Well not the Fod-Scrotum kind anyway. They prob don't even give it another thought about their tenants living conditions. Surprised the solicitor doesn't have a word with one of her mateys in law re landlord's obligations!
Have a good day, FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Surprised the solicitor doesn't have a word with one of her mateys in law re landlord's obligations!
Have a good day, FAW

Hi FAW, I think she has, but as tenants if they tried to force the estate which is cash strapped the 6 month rolling lease probably wouldn't get renewed. They even offered to buy the place at fair market value but the estate went on about heritage and the family trust. In other words they would rather let it fall down than someone else have it.

The Fod- Scrotums are like a lot of Hooray's, Faded Glory Land and Property Rich and cash poor.
To the best of my knowledge there are at least 5 of the Fod's taking a living out of the estate and not one of them does an honest days work.

Regards, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I was working on the top lawn this Afternoon when the bathroom window opened It was Mrs Handy who was looking for me, After she had passed on her Ladyships latest instruction I was reminded of the time a year or so ago, when I heard a sound from his Lordships bathroom window, which sounded like

“Walter fetch a water Bottle”.
Now the previous faithful retainer to the Hoorays was a chap called Walter, who apparently died on the Job due to Lady Hooray (not what you think) She had made Him whitewash 5 tons of coal, because she didn’t like the colour - said it reminded her of her time in the colonies with husband No 1.

Due to his Lordships memory problems I thought he meant me so, anyway I went to the Kitchen got his Lordships favourite water bottle, the one with the Old Harrovovian School colours and ran up to his bathroom, taking care to remove my compost (sh1t) caked wellys first.

Your water bottle your Lordship I said. I didn’t ask for a water bottle said his Lordship still up to his neck in eu de vie.

Sir you called me, “Walter fetch a water Bottle”.

Dammed Fool handyman he said, That was only me Farting in the Bath.

What I had heard was “Walllberrrobbble ferbbollobbel warbleobbbele”.

Cheers all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, It’s now 1/2 past 12 in the Morning and Handy has just finished work for the day.
A day that started at 8.30 Tuesday Morning.

3 years ago I had a 6 month stint of 18 hour days, looks like the next few months are going to be the same.

Oh the things we Handymen do to keep the Ladies happy.

Like I said the other day I promised Mrs Handy that I would make a few improvements to the Old Pigsty , so Sunday it was paint an old French Shelf, Storage unit, and Lamp Table, Measure up for the fitted wardrobes and Settle, Get the Porch ready for painting.

Today I started at 8.30 Take in the Logs and Prepare the fires in the Hall.
Walk My dogs.
Replace the refurbished Weather Vane on the Barn Roof.
Strim @ ½ acre of woodland.
Lunch.
Local Paint shop.
Cut Bottom Lawn.
Strum another ½ acre of woodland.
Tea time and Snooze for ½ an Hour.
Put up Old French shelf in shower room.
Undercoat 3 x 3 Metre wood clad porch

12:18 am Sat here with a glass of scrumpy unwinding and telling you what kind of day I’ve had.

The Porch I’m painting, I built 3 years ago from the left over materials that came from the extension to the Hall, but I kept getting pulled off to do other jobs and so all progress stopped.

His Lordship (God Bless Him) would stand at the back of me for up to 8 hours a day watching every single thing I did. A lot of folks would find this creepy and difficult to cope with. I must admit sometimes I had to go round the back of the barn to scream. I used to joke that Manual Labour fascinated him, as it was the one skill he could never master.

The real reason was his illness (Parkinson’s) had made him so debilitated that standing supervising (even if he didn’t have a clue what you were doing) had become his sole pleasure in life.

Anyway you know why I haven’t been around much in the day, Handy isn’t going nocturnal, just busy trying to keep the women folk happy (ok I know no man will ever succeed) But don’t you just love a Trier.

I should have phase 1 finished by the weekend, then there is the Shower and Bathroom to sort and I have promised to sort out my neighbours garden (@ 1 acre).

Good Job the Clocks change this weekend.

Regards all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, well I finally ran out of steam (and paint) this evening. So Handy had a glass of well deserved single malt and fell asleep in front of the fire. I will just give a few observations on the day then off to rest my back.

Posted this Morning.
I am still in her Ladyships good books as she is buying me a New 4 wheeler Wheel Barrow.

Didn't last long as when Lady Hooray got back from her Pish up (Arts Luncheon) she accused me of striming the primrose's off the bank. I planted them all across the open space she said.

Did she buggery, I have to mow the bank and I planted them last year 20+ of them on each side of the bank. I told her I couldn't put them where she wanted and still cut the grass. The reason she cant see them is that where I put them the grass is already smothering them.

Still you cant tell her, if Robin Lane Fox doesn't write about it in the Times or FT you cant grow it or do it. He has a massive garden she said, He lectures and writes in the times and he prunes his 5 acres of roses in October. Great I said he must be Superman to do all that and look after 100 acres of Garden all on his own, I don't suppose that he employs anyone to help him?

I swear you could hear the wind blowing through one ear and out the other.

When she and the Old Lord used to argue it was funny, Oh Darling no you cant, But Darling I bloody well will. (posh folk are always polite when they argue).

I always used to think of my favorite line in Braveheart, when they were discussing what help the nobles would give and the big Guy with the red beard who looks like my mate Grizzly the lumberjack said, Och they couldnae agree on the colour O Shite.

Well thats her Ladyship down to a Tee.

Night all, Regards Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.



oops, sorry you weren't supposed to see Handy having 5 quiet minutes with his Wicks catalog.
Actually this is GS Handy, he Loves Bob The Builder, so he thought he would start early Wicks then by the time he's 7 the Sun, The Sport when he's 10.

[Numpty Monkey]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

It could be Handy


he forgot to put the seat up

Don't believe Lady H
the other 2 wheels are your right and left leg

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi Numpty, If you ever fancy a week in Scrumpy Land, you know where to find me
My world is a green one at the moment. The lawn feed went on 10 days ago and it's growing like a mad thing. I have cut and strimed @ 5 1/2 acres this week. It's looking the best it ever has.
You always burn some patches when you put down the feed. That and dog pee, always turns the grass brown. Lady H only looks at the patches and not the full lawn.

Looking good though, I'm chuffed to bits with it and it's still only March and Tee shirt weather.



For our Northern Mates, Sorry if your gardens still need to recover, I know what it's like. When if lived in the Far North up above the Great Glen, it was almost May before we got started, then it was mozzie season. (ouch)

Regards all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I was working alongside our little wildlife pond today. Lady Hooray wanted all the wild plants and moss removing, I told her that's why its called a wildlife pond.

I was kneeling down when there was a flutter of wings and two loud splashes.
Mr & Mrs Mallard calling in looking for a place to nest. Scared me silly.

They were really tame, 1/2 a loaf of bread later and they were following me round the garden.
They won't stay long when they meet Lady H's terriers.



Bottoms up
Regards, Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Your lawn & view look brilliant Handy! Another gardener question from me. I've got a lawn that the dog's run a mud path down & bare in a few patches. Same last year & was just about to get some grass seed when grass started growing back but it was about late May. As you mentioned lawn feed is there anything I could be doing to encourage it to grow faster? i.e; lawn feed / grass seeds??

Hope you don't mind my endless questions FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Your lawn & view look brilliant Handy! Another gardener question from me. I've got a lawn that the dog's run a mud path down & bare in a few patches. Same last year & was just about to get some grass seed when grass started growing back but it was about late May. As you mentioned lawn feed is there anything I could be doing to encourage it to grow faster? i.e; lawn feed / grass seeds??

Hope you don't mind my endless questions FAW

Not at all, I have 2 similar problems. 1 is the wee slope I have to take everything up and down to get anywhere in the garden and the other is by the estate fencing where Lady H's dogs have worn a groove. You can get Lawn repair kits from most garden centers, this is seed, feed and a peat type dressing that you sprinkle on the bare patch, (after a little scarifieing).

The dressing keeps it moist and the feed ensures that it should take in @ 21 days.
You can pay silly money for Grass seed, but if there is a Liddles near you they may still have some of their own brand Lawn repair (on offer last week) I got a couple of boxes it was under £4 if I remember right. I used some of theirs last year and it worked a treat.

Alternatively give the ground a good soak with a soluble fertiliser anything for flowers and veg is good, leave a few days then use a grass seed with a high content of Rye Grass. Lady H doesn't like me to use this as it is a courser grass, but it will stand a lot of traffic.

Grass will nearly always come back on its own, the problem with bear patches is weeds getting in first. A Lawn dressing in the spring after the first cut will give it a jump start as well as killing a lot of lawn weeds. The Iron in it gets the green back in under 10 days. I use Westmorland Feed and Weed. £19.99 for a bag that will do a Tennis court, Use a spreader if possible for if you get two much in one spot it kills the grass faster than weed killer. To give you an idea of how much I have to cover, I used 6 bags this year and that was cutting down on last year by 50% (even Lady H has to make economies).

Glad to be of service.
Regards, Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Thanks Handy x yes there is a Lidl about 3 miles from here so I'll be going tomorrow! We only put this lawn down about 3 yrs ago but the dog won't listen lol. Usually once it's grown again it's ok through summer months even with him running up & down! It just never grows as long - pity I can't train him to run all around haha. Farmer's just told us he's putting sheep in the field for the 1st time - he usually puts cows in - so that should be fun he'll hear them but won't be able to see them so he'll be up peering over the fence every 2 mins!!
thanks again, FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.




I thought of doing a calendar for the hall, but then the plan got shelfed. But here goes if you like the picture screen grab it print it off and I will put another up each month till I run out of ideas or you ask me to stop.

Regards to all, Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Gupl!! What's screen grab??? (I like it though) FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi FAW, I run on Widows Vista, but I think XP is the same. The Techies will correct me if I'm wrong. If you open all programs go to Accessories and click on snipping tool. When it's set up you will have a scissors icon on the left hand side of the tool bar.

If you want to copy anything on a screen, just click on the scissors, draw a box round the item you want to copy and save it as a jpeg file for printing. I use it a lot to gather evidence of number 2 stepsons ex cyber stalking him They split up 12 years ago and she still follows him round cyberspace trolling him at every occasion. But that's a rant for another time.

Regards Handy.