CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Oh now I feel guilty I was only messing about! I think you & Mrs Handy are spot on though the rogues always seem to land on their feet. Just remember God loves a trier You're one of the nicest people I cyber know
Have a good day Handy Man-Master (of disguise)

Honest I was just being tongue in cheek. It's a question I have asked myself time and time again. I decided years ago that the reason I never succeeded in business for myself is I never wanted to charge anymore than I would be willing to pay myself and always treated clients the way I would like to be treated. I used to say of one of my old MD's that he couldn't even sleep straight.

Nothing to feel guilty about, I just love the banter.

Regards Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Today I heard on the grapevine that one of my customers from when I was up North is not very well at the moment, this got me thinking and I dug this story out of my hard drive and dusted it off.

When I was oop North and started working for the Hoorays, I was only part time.
I used to work one day a week for a lovely couple who were just as landed as the Hoorays, but really nice down to earth for toffs.

The chap was a chartered surveyor, who had his own business managing large country estates. The Lady (and she was titled but wouldn’t use it) was from an old army family. She had been brought up in Africa in the days of the commonwealth. She was reminiscent of Joanna Lumley in the way she spoke and acted.

Her Fathers claim to Fame was that when he was the colonel of the Queens own African Rifles, Idi Amin had been one of his Sergeants.

Working for them was great fun because they wouldn’t ask you to do anything that they wouldn’t do themselves.

The Chap was a Big Huntin, Shootin and Fishin Man. He asked me one day to reduce the number of Rabbits on the property. Handy dressed like a marine sniper had just taken position in the reeds by the lake, when at full volume came the sound of the gramaphone playing Run Rabbit Run.

They had a neighbour who’s claim to fame was that when he inherited a Grouse Moor in North Yorkshire, Opened fire on a Hang Glider who had the Cheek to fly over his moor while he was shooting.

When he came before the Magistrate on Firearms charges including malicious wounding, his defence was that he had drunk several sloe gins from his hip flask and that he thought the hang glider was a prehistoric monster “A Pterodactyl

The Magistrate asked if he had shot it, I’m not sure he said, “but I must have frightened it because it dropped the man it was carrying”.

Now my customers had re-homed a beautiful black Labrador Bitch from their neighbour, when the got her she was that used to her name they couldn’t change it, she was called Tahiti, but she answered to TT, which sounded like tity.

One day @ 11 am I was cutting down a damaged tree on there neighbours boundary, when a rather dishevelled and tipsy but not unattractive women came along the fence shouting Soho, Portobello. And then asked me if I had seen her to long hair daschunds. I said that they were unusual names for dogs, I went on to say that my employers dog titty was a poor choice for a Labrador, upon which she turned puce and told me “ I gave her that name” Ooops!

Later when I saw Lady M. I told her what had happened, she laughed “so you’ve met Winchester” she said, was she sober!. No I replied “why do you call her Winchester?”. She laughed you’ve seen what she’s like we call her “Winchester because she’s been cocked more times than John Wayne’s rifle”.

I really need to get in touch with these folks to see how they are doing, He was one of the hardest working chaps I have ever met, including doing a lot for charity. I gather Lady M has some problem having one before fought and won the big C.

Regards all, hope you like the story.
Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Phew thank God for that! I must be turning into a lady your t-i-c went straight over my head haha. My OH's like you re his business, only makes wages lol Only time he makes profit too is when he subs to a commercial co cos they're making loads on the contract!

Can't do smilies (or read what I'm writing either - prob mistakes galore) cos I'm on bb lol

Another great story Handy!! More northern banter tomorra areet? FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

For Must, Sincerely I'm not bragging about the grass cutting. These days I am a full time Gardener / Handyman. I've had pro landscape gardeners tell me they wouldn't take the job on.
But I am proud when it begins to look good.



This is the bottom lawn, you will see in the gate the grass is thin, This was mainly due to Lord Hoorays all terrain 4x4 electric buggy. Theres a future story there all be it a sad one.



This is part of the top lawn.
Then there is the woodland walk, the wild flower bank, the wildlife pond and the crockquet lawn

As you can imagine my own garden is a total mess, as I only get time to work on it in my own time.

Edit Pictures of Hooray gardens from last summer.

Honest, I love it compared to my last job it's brilliant.


Regards to all, Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy the gardens look lovely, you must work hard but we can tell you love your job ......

BUT WHAT THE .......................

Regards to all, Handy.

[LooLoo]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy what lovey greens you have

x

[Deepie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

If that elephant farts could you emagin where you would end up

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I told you all, Handy has had lots of jobs, some good, some bad and some a lot worse than what I'm doing now. At least its outside work. Not like the hefalump.

Regards all, Handy.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi all, Rained of this Morning, I really didn't feel like mowing anyway as the lawn feed is still soaking in. If the rain lets up I have an electrical job to do as our resident family of Squirrels have moved into the Barn conversion roof and begun chewing wiring.

I have to check the security system first as I think that's where they started.

Still its better than battling with the brambles again. By the time I had finished yesterday it looked like I had done 10 rounds with a Tiger.

Back later to let you Know how I got on with the Sqiggle.



Regards, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Yup the Squirrels have eaten the cable to the Alarm bell. It looks like I will have to make a Handy sized hole through the stud wall to reach and repair the cable. It wouldnt be so bad but when I did the Barn Conversion I wanted to put an under eaves access hatch in for just such an eventuality. But was over ruled because of the time we had taken to do the job. Myself and two others working part time did it in 1 year, From a hole in the ground to a 100k luxury cottage.

The picture is one of the criturs that have taken up residence in the Barn conversion, I took it last November as it sat in the orchard munching on an apple.

Lady H didn't want them disturbing, but now their starting to cost money I have to relocate them without bloodshed. Mainly mine, have you seen the teeth and claws on the little blighters.

Did you know that by law if you catch a Grey Squirrel then by law you have to dispatch it humanly, Last year a local Gardener was fined 1K and banned from keeping animals because he dispatched one by drowning it in a water butt.

Don't worry, I take them about 2 miles away and release them in the local forest.



Looks like I will be doing some redecorating soon.
Regards all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Morning All. I'ts an early start for Handy today. I have had to give in a bit and promise Mrs Handy I will make a few improvements to our cottage. It's going to be paintbrush in one hand and saw in the other for the next few weeks.

I have to do a fitted wardrobe for the bedroom and a settle for the porch. Then there are the bathrooms to sort out. It's a good job the clocks change next week.

Anything for a quiet life that's me.

I will keep you posted on how I get on.
Regards to all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Evening All, Fires on the Lamps are lit and Handy is just looking in before putting his feet up.

Got loads done today, including giving the 2 Labs a bath.
I should mention that I'm still drying out.

Regards all, Handy.

[LooLoo]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy your home looks amazing!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy your home looks amazing!

Hi Loo, I wish it was my place, Thats the Barn Conversion I did for Lord H. Now being eaten by the Squirrels. Since it was finished 16 months ago it has only been used for 5 days.

But it looks good for mates of the Hooray's to see. When you are a Hooray you tell people I did this, what you really mean is I signed the checks.

I'm proud of it though, first time I have done something from the ground up, including the 20 tons of new concrete that went into the floor all mixed by hand


Morning All.

Well it looks like the week is off to a fair start for a change.
Lady Hooray seems in a good mood. (wonder how long that will last) She even commented on how bust I had been over the weekend. That’s the problem with our cottage, (the old pigsty ) as we can be seen from two sides of the Hall at once. I sometimes think you get more privacy in a Tenement block.

I have just been out planting a Tray of Foxgloves along the drive wall, good job that Foxgloves will grow almost anywhere as it is a horrible dark and stony little bed. It should look good though if I can get them going.

I was talking to our one and only neighbour who rents the Farmhouse next door. I was asked if I can tidy the garden as they are planning to move as soon as they find another place.

They are just normal folk, He a Market Trader and She a Solicitor that does a lot of free work for people with employment problems.

You wouldn’t want to rent their place, The Landlords the Fod - Scrotums promised that they would put a new thatch on, replace the ancient metal framed windows and repair the boiler. That was when they moved in 2 years ago. They have been waiting since Christmas to have a hole in the ceiling fixed after a pipe froze. On top of all this they have had their heating oil stolen twice this winter.

For all this they pay £1,100 per month. When they go I hope the estate finds another set of mugs as good as these people as the last 2 tenants ended up doing a moonlight on them.

What does the landlord do with the money, He’s just had another Mongolian Yurt (type of tent) built in the grounds of his house so another one of his weird mates has something to do.

Oh well back to the garden now. Striming and Bramble clearing again.

Regards to all, Handy.