CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[findingaway]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Helloooo, ermm sounds too techy for me, I promise I will try it someday........ Cyber stalking, there's some mad people on the loose lol which got me thinking..... I always seem to follow you on the threads hehe but I promise I'm not a trolI & I know that for sure cos troll's are green & live under bridges & I'm a pale kind of colour & live in a land of grass growing where It shouldn't be & not growing where it should be...so you're safe FAW

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Hi FAW, I thought about putting one of Stepsons Ex's emails up if you want to see real venom and cyber stalking it would be a prime example. But then it wouldn't be fair to burden others with our family dirty laundry. Recently Stepson had to get the Police to have words with her as she had threatened actual violence on another family member. She once got hold of the Hoorays ex directory phone number and called them 40+ times in an afternoon. I had to have severe words after that incident.

I'ts a story that even Jeremy Kyle would stay clear of.

Regards Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Evening all, another long day. Handy has only just put his paintbrush away and is having 5 minutes at the keyboard before turning in.

I said it wouldn’t be long before Lady Hooray got back to normal. I replaced and repotted 2 of the Agapanthus. The third I couldn’t get out of its tub. It’s a ½ meter solid cube of roots. Oh you cant cut the roots she said. Question how do you fit a square into a conical pot without cutting it to shape?

The ones she asked me to move in the morning were not the same ones in the afternoon, you have moved the wrong ones she said. That’s funny because I’ve taken to putting a chalk mark on the side of the pots she picks out , so I have evidence when she changes her mind.

Oh how the winter has damaged them she said, I was out a 8 O’clock one evening in the snow wrapping the pots in fleece and bubble wrap to try and prevent them freezing. What do you want me to do with the old ones I asked? Plant them in the spare bed at the top of the lawn, their from Africa you know, they grow in the jungle and should do well in the garden.

I walked away wondering what planet she’s on.

She buys the Agapanthus from a local grower who sells her old pot bound stock at highly inflated prices,
This happens with a lot of the locals, if someone offers her a bargain she thinks cheap equals no good.


I needed some compost for myself, Lidles were selling a large bag for £1.99 Don’t use any in my garden she said at that price it cant be any use. I felt like telling her Mucks, Muck and Sh1t is still well? The only time it is expensive is when it comes from the Hall’s septic tank, Then it must cost £20 per pound to produce.

That’s enough for now Handy, your going off on a rant!

Regards all, see you tomorrow.

[LooLoo]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I'm missing my Handy fix! I must catch up when a get a min and have a nice cuppa and catch up on the posts

xx

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

That’s enough for now Handy, your going off on a rant!

Regards all, see you tomorrow.

You rant away Handy, that woman would test the patience of a saint!!

St. Handy has quite a ring to it eh!!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

You rant away Handy, that woman would test the patience of a saint!!

St. Handy has quite a ring to it eh!!

Oh how wrong some people can be, you have more faith in me than I have.
I was quite a Lad in my younger days. A little bit wild.

:evil2: Mind you I always said it doesn't matter if you hurt yourself as long as you don't hurt others. I still have my moments, It doesn't help to get mad, just get even.

I'm off to paint another wall now, back in an hour or two.
A Handymans work is never done.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Evening All, paintbrushes away time for a beer and a chat. I actually got an extra 4 hours painting in today because it rained. I still had to go out in it to finish repotting the Agapanthus. Thank goodness that’s done, Then I got accused of mowing the primroses of the bank (again) she wont have it that there were never anymore than a handful there in the first place.

It was going to be one of those days when Lady Hooray argues white = black and black = white.
Then she got a letter from her car insurers, Her son Cromwell senior had a bump in her car last year. Definitely not his fault, but her insurers underwrite the insurers of the white van man that got her car.

The letter said that the third party wanted to go to court and as there were no other witnesses they were going to settle on a 50/50 basis.

She thought that this meant she would personally have to pay 3.5k towards the cost of her repairs.

I have explained at least 20 times how Car insurance works and it still hasn’t sunk in.

Anyway I put a cracking letter together for her which fingers crossed should at least save her No Claims discount. That got me back in the good books for the rest of the day at least.

Then this afternoon she came up with another idea, I will get some paint she said, you can paint the outside of your Cottage, The Barns and The Garages, but you can’t cut down the Roses, the Ivy or the Honeysuckle, you will have to paint around the branches and leaves.

To give you an idea of what’s involved I recon it would take a 4 man crew 2 weeks work to cover the area, weather permitting. There is a lot of cracked render to repair as well.

An Hour later she was back with 2 gallons of Masonry paint and a packet of polyfiller. Use it sparingly she said it cost £90.00 When I asked her which wall it was for and when were the other 100 gallons arriving her face was a picture.

I will let you know how I get on tomorrow.

Regards to all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Morning all, just in for my Coffee Break. I will be back to painting in a bit, first I have to fill some holes in the guest room wall where Lady H had knocked nails in to hold pictures, I did tell her that pulling them out would make a crater. Then its to the shed to make some brass nuts for the handles on a Georgeian chest of drawers. Thank goodness it's not her knicker drawer, I have done some jobs but that would be above and beyond the call of duty.

Catch up with you all later.
Cheers Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Don't believe Lady H
the other 2 wheels are your right and left leg

Numpty O ye of little faith, Look what arrived today. My brand new 4 wheeler Barrow.


It came flat packed like a giant meccano set. It wasn't bad to assemble. I thought of Angelic while I was bolting it together and wondered if her Trampoline had arrived yet.

The Barrow in the background is the one his Lordship got me. Its 3 times the size of a normal barrow. Back in the 60's when he worked in the city he had done a time and motion course. He thought if he got me a larger barrow I could get more done. I filled it to the brim with Compost (shit) and invited him to have a go at pushing it If you overfill it, it has a habit of tipping up. I think I made my point

He used to have a framed notice on his desk that said it isn't the hours you put in, Its what you put into the hours. Thats from a chap that used to go into the office at 9.30 leave at 10:45 and fly to Edinburgh for a meeting of the keepers of the quaich (A big whiskey society with all the main distillers as members) Leave (stagger) at 4.30 and be home by 7.00

He saw me looking at the notice one day. I told him that was good motivational advice so he had one made for me, only mine said It isn't what you put into the hours, Its the hours you put in.

One rule for the rich and one for Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Evening All, Only a quick one from Handy tonight as the work of the last few days is catching up and I need my ugly sleep. I promise that I’m working on a few more of Handy’s tall tales and hope to share them with you in the next few days.

Now as we used to say in the Army, NO DUFF, This means the information is genuine. You would get someone on the radio saying NO DUFF (no duff information) Someone has shot the Sergeant Major, you then knew that this was for real and he was leaking Claret, best get the medics out A.S.A.P.

Well Lady Hooray has to go for a Colonoscopy tomorrow.
Now while no one other than Lady H thinks it will reveal anything serious (her Doctor, Mrs Handy - ex Nursing Sister and myself).
Although I wish no one ill, :and when I heard that she was going for a check up, It makes me wish I had trained as a Medic. I would love to be doing the procedure with the Endoscope as I have often thought while holding a Rake listening to her rant, If I were a braver man I would stick this where the Sun Don’t Shine.

Naturally she’s going private as they use a thinner Endoscope and a better grade of Lubricant.


I managed to find time to make a new planter and to finish Mrs Handy’s new lamp table. Bought for a fiver from the local flea market and painted with 2 coats of F&B then polished with bees wax. Looks great.



For the lady’s here’s a bunch of tulips. (unfortunately from the shops) I will be getting them from the Garden next week.


Regards to all, Handy.

[MustGetStraigh]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Handy, console yourself with the thought that even if they use a thinner endoscope and better lubricant - she still will have had to take the preparation drinks which erm "flush you out" so she will have spent pretty much the whole day on the throne feeling like she's had the world's worst food poisoning.

I had one a few years ago and thank my lucky stars I haven't got to have one again for a few years yet.

Maybe you could suggest she goes for these endoscopies very very regularly

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

she still will have had to take the preparation drinks which erm "flush you out" so she will have spent pretty much the whole day on the throne feeling like she's had the world's worst food poisoning.

Turns out she only thought she was having it done today! It was just a pre -medical and a chat with the Doctor. She came home loaded with a box of Dynamite. (Mrs Handy has to have a Colonoscopy ever 3 years so we know what it does )

The Doctor told me it will flush me out she said. That's right I replied, shall I book having the septic tank emptied now?

Regards to all, Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

OOOh that B@.*'£$% Woman, she waits until 5:30 Knock off time before she starts complaining about the state of Handy's workshop. Just because I have a piece of my furniture and a painting in there. Given it's big enough to park 4 cars, but all the garden equipment is in there, plus a load of doors she bought that don't fit anything and all the other stuff she had me move from the potting shed like 100+ empty tins of paint (in case she needs the color). Theres old pieces of oak in case she needs something making cardboard boxes in case she needs to store something. The rest of the stuff are my tools used for doing jobs for her. Then my adopted family are on the cadge again. what a day!
The next person to upset me gets a colonoscopy whether they want one or not.

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

It came flat packed like a giant meccano set. It wasn't bad to assemble. I thought of Angelic while I was bolting it together and wondered if her Trampoline had arrived yet.

Hey Handy!

Yeah it arrived on Wednesday after they'd told me it'd been delivered on the Monday

It was quite easy to put together - would have been easier if DD wasn't hanging round asking 'is it ready yet?' every 2mins

The worst part was the safety net, I couldn't hold the poles up and screw them in at the same time (there must be a joke in there somewhere!!) but it's all finished and the kids love it...just a shame that it's too bloddy cold for them to play outside now

[Angelic]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

she still will have had to take the preparation drinks which erm "flush you out"

Drinks?

My sister had one of these things and she had to shove a syringe of stuff up her arse and hold it in for as long as she could