Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

[Never-In-Doubt]

Debt & Disability

This section has been created to help people with a disability, come to terms with their debts and also to guide them in the right direction as to the best places and resources for help.

Unlike mainstream debt, people with a disability are far less able to take total control of their finances, their situation and/or understand the ramifications of getting credit, these pages will assist any prospective visitors that are suffering at the hands of a lender or DCA.

Ok, now we've set the boundaries of what the section is for, it's time to set out some rules. Usually we do not apply rules, as such, to our forums as we believe in free speech and your right to debate topics. That said, however, we will not tolerate any abuse to posters in this section, similarly in the UE or other debts pages. It will not be tolerated.

If you feel the urge to comment or reply to a topic, please ensure it is constructive, relevant to the topic in question and most importantly - the content should be considered prior to clicking "Post Reply". If you attack another poster, slag off debtors, cause any upset/unrest or become a nuisance then our mods will instantly ban you, moderate your posts and close the thread in question until one of the site team investigate things.

If proven, you'll be formally warned to behave. Future reports of abuse will result in a permanent ban. We simply will not tolerate any abuse to the debt section of the forum - especially this section, i.e. Debts & Disabilities.

That was your only warning, so please do not give us reason to revoke your membership - we encourage debtors to post here, we do not chase them away.

If you notice any abusive posts please click the "Report Post" icon found under the username/avatar to the left of the message pane ([IMG]http://forums.all-about-debt.co.uk/orange/buttons/report.gif[/IMG]). If you have any queries regards this message please PM me - do not start a thread/discussion about it.

Thanks for your continued co-operation, we all appreciate it.

Niddy :niddy

[Never-In-Doubt]

Interesting Reading

I am posting the following message, on behalf of a forum user here, whom for the moment will remain anonymous. The reason I am posting this is to show you all that having a disability isn't all about walking with a limp, or being pushed in a wheelchair - most disabilities are actually not visible and the following message was given to us by a regular poster here, to allow others to "feel" what it's like having an impairment.

The author of the message may well decide to create a post identifying themselves, this is perfectly acceptable however I am not prepared to name them - The identity is irrelevant when you consider the content itself. Please, spare a few moments and take a read - you'll not only be shocked, you'll leave thinking - wow...... Well I certainly did.

The author does not ask for sympathy, nor are they to be confused or accused of ever posting whilst their illness is taking place, the purpose of this is to simply allow you an insight of something that usually we'd not have a clue about.

Niddy :niddy

[QUOTE][CENTER][B]Mental Health and Debt – A Personal Experience[/B]

[/CENTER]
I am an active member of this site, but unfortunately suffer from a very serious mental health problem. I tend not to speak about it and that is why I hope anybody contemplating posting in this section, or indeed responding to posts in this section will read this. When I started contributing to forums I took what I hoped would be an enlightened attitude to mental health issues, and posted freely and openly about my own illness and experiences. This worked well to start with, but sadly some people attach a stigma to mental health illnesses and feel you can just “pull yourself together.” How I wish that were true! My illness has cost me my very successful career, my house, my lifestyle, many so called “friends” and very nearly my life. Had the police not broken into my house one night by smashing the windows I would now be dead.

I am so seriously ill that I don’t even count as an adult in the eyes of the council and have been told by my consultants I must never again undertake paid work. For someone who was, and enjoyed being a workaholic, that has been hard to come to terms with, if indeed I have. Despite knowing this, members of one site even said I was doing it for sympathy and making things up. They openly told me to pull myself together. Others who were somewhat sympathetic told me I had brought it on myself by being open about my illness. Others fortunately understood what a dreadfully debilitating thing mental illness is and fought for me, often to their cost. This is something I will always be grateful to them for. That is why, with only a few exceptions, I no longer talk about it.

I write this to reassure anyone thinking of posting that this will not be the case on this site. Anybody who takes this bullish, crassly cruel attitude will be dealt with appropriately. So please, feel free to post away. You will, I assure you, find people sensitive to your plight and will get realistic advice. You may not always get sympathy as we enjoy a bit of light hearted banter here, but that is all it is, and nobody here would intentionally ever make a comment to cause someone else distress. It is a unique and fantastic site.[INDENT][SIZE=4][COLOR=DarkOrange]To get you started this is my diagnosis and prognosis. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR=Black][B]I am diagnosed[/B] as suffering from a major depressive disorder / dysthymic disorder which means most of the time I am severely clinically depressed. I also suffer psychogenic fugue states which mean I periodically (about once a week) suddenly change from normal and go into a fugue state. In this state I adopt a new persona and tend to wander. If it happens at night, as I sleep naked, I wander naked. I have been known, incredibly, to succeed in getting over 200 miles away from home and had to be flown back under police escort. When I return to normality I can remember absolutely nothing of what happened while I was in the fugue state. I am told I have been very aggressive which is totally out of character, violent and rude (again totally out of character); I have told people I am a film star, actor, sailing round the world – all sorts of imaginative things. On the more serious side I have wandered into very dangerous territory and fallen down cliffs, got stuck in sinking mud and even been knocked down by a car.

[/COLOR] [COLOR=Black]Am I embarrassed? Well I can’t honestly confess I like the thought of the people in my village having seen me wandering naked, though I like to think it makes the men jealous! But no, I’m not embarrassed because it is an illness and something over which I have no control.

[B]My prognosis[/B] [/COLOR][COLOR=Black] is that I will remain like this for the remainder of my life. Any sceptics about mental illness out there – try living with the above for a week, let alone a lifetime. You will soon lose your scepticism. Everything I do is a phenomenal effort for me, I take vast amounts of potent medication and have a full time carer.

I hope this very brief outline of my illness helps others to come forward and post for help. Whatever you are suffering, the chances are someone here has been in a similar situation. I now await bankruptcy so my life has been totally devastated by the illness, but I remain upbeat and positive much of the time and am determined to raise awareness of the issue and the consequences in terms of debt, trouble with the police and so on that this issue can bring with it. You will get all the help you need here, and if we can’t provide it, we will be able to point you to someone who can.[/COLOR] [/INDENT][/QUOTE]

[Undercover Elsa]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

What a great topic/category, and a very moving story, which one hopes will both encourage people to post without fear or embarassment, and help others to empathise with the particular difficulties involved.
Where mental illness is involved there is often lack of insight and knowledge from the general public, even close friends and relatives, all of whom need to be made aware that it is just as debilitating as physical illness, indeed more so in many cases.
Often actual physical illness ensues as a reaction to the stresses of mental illness.

Similarly, physical disability can give rise to psychological issues and reactive depression, often exacerbated by debt worries and pressure from creditors.

In addition to providing support for the mentally and physical disabled, might I suggest that we also have a category specifically for carers?
Very often these silent, unsung heroes struggle on for years, short of cash, emotionally and physically drained.
Not only do they have to deal with their own problems, be it health or debt, but those of the person they care for too.

Having had extensive experience in this field, both as a retired health care professional and on a personal level, I would be happy to volunteer to write a preface for a Carers' category, if Niddy agrees..I'll submit by email/pm for prior approval if required. :happy

Shepherdess x

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Shep, I'll add a sub category for carers tonight.

I'll pm you :)

[jen_br]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Very interesting read and I hope the person who wrote the above know that we are not here to judge. My father suffers from DID (which is multiple personality disorder) I have been involved in my fair share of "embarassing" moments with that but found out it was more common to have people around you or who you know that are ill then not! we all get down and suffer from mental illness...

Thanks for coming forward and good luck on your journey.

[Pixie]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

I had tears in my eyes reading that message.

I cannot imagine what it must be like to suffer from such a terrible illness. People tend to dismiss mental illness, but it is an illness just like any other. You cannot 'pull yourself together'. That's like telling someone with cancer to make themselves better - impossible.

One thing that we will not tolerate on this forum is judgemental posts. You can post here safe in the knowledge that you will not be belittled, berated or judged. we are here for help, advice and support.

[pompeyfaith]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Pixie,

Ill second that as it is what makes us different from the rest, and at the end of the day we are all human we just have differing needs that is all.

Regards

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

[QUOTE=pixie;87640]One thing that we will not tolerate on this forum is judgemental posts. You can post here safe in the knowledge that you will not be belittled, berated or judged. we are here for help, advice and support.[/QUOTE] Spot on :clap :clap

Although we don't give advice, we do offer help & support. Giving "Advice" means I need to fork out £700+ on a CCL :wtf

However I appreciate and accept that you guys can offer advice using common sense, not necessarily as a performing role, as such ;W ;W

[SIZE=1]* sorry had to clear up the legalities a little[/SIZE] :lol

[Pixie]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Thanks for clarifying that.

I don't profess to have specific financial knowledge but I can offer 'advice' based on my own personal experiences.

[Ames]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

That's a wonderful post.

One of my stock responses is 'if I had a broken leg would you expect me to walk on it to make it better instead of getting it put in plaster? No? So why do you think it's acceptable to tell me to walk around with mental illness and just hope it'll get better on it's own'.

I find it really sad when I read/hear people say 'I'm depressed - but of course I wont be taking medication'. As though it's a badge of honour to suffer stoically.

Even worse, those people who then get better on their own think that what was obviously a mild form of depression entitles them to belittle those of us who need medication and therapy, 'I did it, you should be able to'.

My debt problems would not be anywhere near as severe if it weren't for my mental illness. But try and explain that, even to debt counsellors, and you're often met with disbelief. You're just looking for an easy way out, not taking responsibility.

Well, owning up to and being honest about MI is one of the hardest forms of taking responsibility there is.

[SIZE="1"]climbs off soapbox[/SIZE]

[pompeyfaith]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Ames,

Thank you your input is interesting too and most welcome here as we do not judge.

Depression is regarded as a mental illness by the profession and thus should be regarded as such, it comes in many forms both mild and severe and does affect us all at some point in our hectic lives in some form or another.

Regards

[garlok]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

As one who has come through two breakdowns some thirty years apart I have a great empathy with those who suffer. I consider myself lucky to have come through them with the meds and support at those times. I now recognise the trouble now when it begins as does my OH and get sent to the naughty step at the docs. Who normally issues the proverbial riot act and we get by wothout further intervention.

Luckily I can get on with things and telling my doc I need 48hours in every day to get all things done I want and need to do is one of my methods of coping with it and the physical troubles. Hobbies and interests really do help (like spending half my life on AAD :rotfl)

regards
Garlok

[Ames]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

I hope it didn't come across as me belittling mild depression, I'm not and I don't. It's just a different experience - the same way that someone who has to tighten their belt to take two months to pay off a credit card sometimes uses that to assume they know how someone with 30k and a DMP should have had the same ability to recover as them. Both problems, both valid solutions, but different scenarios.

Not sure I'm making any more sense than I did to start with lol.

[pompeyfaith]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Garlok,

Great to see you back and posting on these boards your input is always welcome fella.

Glad that you have come though your two breakdown spells and are enjoying your life with your hobbies as they are important and all part of any recovery.

As I say fantastic to see you posting.

Regards

[pompeyfaith]

Re: Debt & Disability - Category Rules & Foreward

Ames

[QUOTE]I hope it didn't come across as me belittling mild depression[/QUOTE]

No you did not, and yes I fully understand what you are saying.

Regards