I feel a bit of an imposter posting here as my problem is not a debt one. A friend of mine, who is a member suggested I come here as my friend thought I would get some sound advice.
Ok, my dad died 6 months ago (6 months yesterday actually...yesterday was not a good day) Leaving his estate to my mum. I have one brother (younger than me) and when mum dies the estate will be divided equally between my brother and I. My parents house is sat on just under an acre of land, where my dad had his 'yard' and many out buildings where he worked self employed. Since dad has been gone my brother has knocked down an outbuilding, claimed most of the other out buildings for himself, he now parks all his vans in my dads yard and has completely ripped out and refurbished my dads office, there is practically nothing left of my dad in his yard. This has upset me greatly and I feel like my brother is railroading my mum into allowing all this to happen. I feel it is all far too soon. He is not thinking of others feelings at all and is just doing what he likes. My mum 'claims' everything is ok but she is not thinking straight...she has in no way accepted my dads death and just seems to be agreeing to anything!
The other day I called in to see mum and there was a house valuer there. Mum says she is thinking of selling her house to my brother. This was the first I had heard about this but apparently she had been thinking about it for about a week. My brother was there and knew everything...he would have had to have been the one to phone the estate agents because my mum wouldn't know the first thing about selling a house. My mum 'claims' it is her idea and says 'she wants to see us enjoy our inheritance before she dies' and she doesn't want the house to go out of the family.
Well firstly, It is far too soon to be making any decision, secondly, I don't think it is her idea, I think my brother and his girlfriend are subtly manipulating her..my mum is really not thinking straight and thirdly, is it wrong of me to be thinking he is getting the lions share out of our inheritance, given as if she sells now and with the current state of the market place, my brother will be buying her house at a knock down price and reaping the rewards when the housing market goes up?
They are planning on building a granny flat attached to the house where mum will stay...I honestly can not see my mum being happy there. Especially when my brother will change everything in her old house to his decor....hell, he completely ripped out any trace of my dad from his office within a week. I have tried speaking to my mum about this and now she thinks I am being ungrateful for rejecting 'her' idea!!
The house is worth £250,000 in today's current market (we live in the north so house prices are lower) and the plan is for my brother to get a mortgage for 150k, give me 100k and mum 50k and then he will keep the house.
I honestly think my brother is brain washing my mum. Mum is not worldly, when dad was alive, he kept her, before he died mum had never paid a bill in her whole married life, she still doesn't understand stuff like insurances, pensions etc and she takes everything my brother says as Gospel. She can not see that he has an agenda, of cause he his wanting her to sell now...he will get the house so cheaply. My mum thinks I am being ungrateful for rejecting 100k, she thinks it's ME that's money grabbing...I'm not. There is no way on this earth will I allow myself to live in a nice cushy house and have no money worries whilst mum lives in a rabbit hutch granny flat, with no space to put all her belongings she has accumulated and then have to watch someone else have the run of HER home.
Anyway, what I am asking is could someone outline all the implications if this went ahead. I need to educate my mum so that she sees it from ALL angles. I am so worried she will let this go ahead and regret it for the rest of her life.
many thanks
Ok, my dad died 6 months ago (6 months yesterday actually...yesterday was not a good day) Leaving his estate to my mum. I have one brother (younger than me) and when mum dies the estate will be divided equally between my brother and I. My parents house is sat on just under an acre of land, where my dad had his 'yard' and many out buildings where he worked self employed. Since dad has been gone my brother has knocked down an outbuilding, claimed most of the other out buildings for himself, he now parks all his vans in my dads yard and has completely ripped out and refurbished my dads office, there is practically nothing left of my dad in his yard. This has upset me greatly and I feel like my brother is railroading my mum into allowing all this to happen. I feel it is all far too soon. He is not thinking of others feelings at all and is just doing what he likes. My mum 'claims' everything is ok but she is not thinking straight...she has in no way accepted my dads death and just seems to be agreeing to anything!
The other day I called in to see mum and there was a house valuer there. Mum says she is thinking of selling her house to my brother. This was the first I had heard about this but apparently she had been thinking about it for about a week. My brother was there and knew everything...he would have had to have been the one to phone the estate agents because my mum wouldn't know the first thing about selling a house. My mum 'claims' it is her idea and says 'she wants to see us enjoy our inheritance before she dies' and she doesn't want the house to go out of the family.
Well firstly, It is far too soon to be making any decision, secondly, I don't think it is her idea, I think my brother and his girlfriend are subtly manipulating her..my mum is really not thinking straight and thirdly, is it wrong of me to be thinking he is getting the lions share out of our inheritance, given as if she sells now and with the current state of the market place, my brother will be buying her house at a knock down price and reaping the rewards when the housing market goes up?
They are planning on building a granny flat attached to the house where mum will stay...I honestly can not see my mum being happy there. Especially when my brother will change everything in her old house to his decor....hell, he completely ripped out any trace of my dad from his office within a week. I have tried speaking to my mum about this and now she thinks I am being ungrateful for rejecting 'her' idea!!
The house is worth £250,000 in today's current market (we live in the north so house prices are lower) and the plan is for my brother to get a mortgage for 150k, give me 100k and mum 50k and then he will keep the house.
I honestly think my brother is brain washing my mum. Mum is not worldly, when dad was alive, he kept her, before he died mum had never paid a bill in her whole married life, she still doesn't understand stuff like insurances, pensions etc and she takes everything my brother says as Gospel. She can not see that he has an agenda, of cause he his wanting her to sell now...he will get the house so cheaply. My mum thinks I am being ungrateful for rejecting 100k, she thinks it's ME that's money grabbing...I'm not. There is no way on this earth will I allow myself to live in a nice cushy house and have no money worries whilst mum lives in a rabbit hutch granny flat, with no space to put all her belongings she has accumulated and then have to watch someone else have the run of HER home.
Anyway, what I am asking is could someone outline all the implications if this went ahead. I need to educate my mum so that she sees it from ALL angles. I am so worried she will let this go ahead and regret it for the rest of her life.
many thanks
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