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Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.
For Diddles
Hi all, I wonder if this would count as a Handy Christmas story as the event’s I am about to tell you happened one August.
Back around 8 years ago when we were living in the Great Glen and working for the Mad Lady Laird of Ochyesassenach. We used to do a bit of Bed and Breakfast to help make ends meet.
At the time we had a rather large 4 bed roomed cottage and parking for around 20 cars, the view from the cottage was stunning so we used to do reasonably well.
Our nearest Neighbours were a couple of southerners called Dot and Tim, one day when I had a few drams I called the Tot and Dim and the name stuck.
Now Tot and Dim were nice people, they also did B&B but they did have a hygiene problem. Their cottage was only small and when they got a double booking they would stay in a small caravan at the back of their cottage.
Dim was a driver by trade and as he made early starts most days he would cook the breakfast’s the evening before ready to be warmed in the microwave before being served to the guests the next morning. In the tiny kitchen where they prepared the food the budgies cage was right next to the cooker. It wasn’t unusual to get feathers and bits of millet stuck to your 12 hour old fried egg.
Dim liked a dram himself and often we would get them both vas uninvited visitors for Sunday Lunch.
Dim would bring a cheap bottle of Scotch offer me one and then attack my Grouse. Once he was in such a state they stayed over as he couldn’t drive. It took a week with the windows in the room and several tins of air freshener before we could use the room.
Before I go on, I must tell you that one time when this happened I sent for Dims son to come and collect him. His son was a male nurse and a very nice boy (if you get my drift) He was also the size of a man mountain, when he saw his father laid recumbent he swung him up over his shoulder and then poured him into the back of a Vauxhall Nova with no trouble at all.
So you will find no trouble at all in realizing why Tot and Dim could not understand why a lot of their customers drove straight past their cottage or only stayed for one night.
So back to the story.
It was late one evening about mid August, when we got a phone call from Dim.
Handy he said have you anyone booked in tonight as we have a couple here looking for a room for the night. Have you got full booking? I asked. No said Dim but they are looking for somewhere with a little more space than we have. Send them over I said we have a double ready.
Sure enough about tem minutes later me and Mrs H were stood at our gate to welcome our guests.
When the hire car stopped and the couple got out Mrs H looked at me with total disbelief,
The Chap got out first , he was tall, thin, Long black beard side burns to match and he was wearing his Kippah (Jewish Scull Cap). His Wife struggled to get out of the passenger side as she was heavily pregnant , we later found out that she was 8 ½ months.
I whispered to Mrs H, Jesus Mary and Joseph , don’t tell me we have been chosen.
Mrs H whispered back practical as ever, what am I going to give them to eat?
Well the full English Breakfast is off the menu I replied.
A few minutes later when we had shown them the room, unloaded their bags and got them settled at the kitchen table for a cuppa the Chap told me they had only just flown in from Tel-aviv that afternoon. This was a holiday they had planned before his wife became pregnant expecting their first child. The plan was just to travel from Scotland down into the south staying at B&B’s and small hotels with no fixed route in mind. He said he hadn’t realised that being August he would be in the middle of our Summer Holidays.
He had stopped at several places looking for a room only to be told they were all fully booked.
Privately I wonder if his lack of success in finding a room was due to the fact that a lot of the local proprietors were Lodge Brothers, you know the sort with a funny handshake and rolled up trouser legs.
Eventually in desperation they had stopped at Dims place, but one look told him that the place was hardly Kosher.
This gave me the opportunity to ask that as they obviously had special dietary requirements, what had we got that would be acceptable for them to eat. That isn’t a problem said the chap, we have brought our own supplies from home, just show me where the crockery is kept and we will do our own cooking.
As it turns out they were a wonderful couple, we had photographs taken with them in our kitchen.
A couple of months later we got a card from them thanking us for our hospitality and telling them they had only just made it back to Israel in time for the birth of their son.
Mind you the Night they stopped with us I did go outside later and look at the sky to make sure that there wasn’t any bright stars overhead. Mind you I did think the ponies were acting strangely in the stables that were attached to our cottage.
Funny what tricks your imagination can play on you.
Regards all, Handy.
For Diddles
Hi all, I wonder if this would count as a Handy Christmas story as the event’s I am about to tell you happened one August.
Back around 8 years ago when we were living in the Great Glen and working for the Mad Lady Laird of Ochyesassenach. We used to do a bit of Bed and Breakfast to help make ends meet.
At the time we had a rather large 4 bed roomed cottage and parking for around 20 cars, the view from the cottage was stunning so we used to do reasonably well.
Our nearest Neighbours were a couple of southerners called Dot and Tim, one day when I had a few drams I called the Tot and Dim and the name stuck.
Now Tot and Dim were nice people, they also did B&B but they did have a hygiene problem. Their cottage was only small and when they got a double booking they would stay in a small caravan at the back of their cottage.
Dim was a driver by trade and as he made early starts most days he would cook the breakfast’s the evening before ready to be warmed in the microwave before being served to the guests the next morning. In the tiny kitchen where they prepared the food the budgies cage was right next to the cooker. It wasn’t unusual to get feathers and bits of millet stuck to your 12 hour old fried egg.
Dim liked a dram himself and often we would get them both vas uninvited visitors for Sunday Lunch.
Dim would bring a cheap bottle of Scotch offer me one and then attack my Grouse. Once he was in such a state they stayed over as he couldn’t drive. It took a week with the windows in the room and several tins of air freshener before we could use the room.
Before I go on, I must tell you that one time when this happened I sent for Dims son to come and collect him. His son was a male nurse and a very nice boy (if you get my drift) He was also the size of a man mountain, when he saw his father laid recumbent he swung him up over his shoulder and then poured him into the back of a Vauxhall Nova with no trouble at all.
So you will find no trouble at all in realizing why Tot and Dim could not understand why a lot of their customers drove straight past their cottage or only stayed for one night.
So back to the story.
It was late one evening about mid August, when we got a phone call from Dim.
Handy he said have you anyone booked in tonight as we have a couple here looking for a room for the night. Have you got full booking? I asked. No said Dim but they are looking for somewhere with a little more space than we have. Send them over I said we have a double ready.
Sure enough about tem minutes later me and Mrs H were stood at our gate to welcome our guests.
When the hire car stopped and the couple got out Mrs H looked at me with total disbelief,
The Chap got out first , he was tall, thin, Long black beard side burns to match and he was wearing his Kippah (Jewish Scull Cap). His Wife struggled to get out of the passenger side as she was heavily pregnant , we later found out that she was 8 ½ months.
I whispered to Mrs H, Jesus Mary and Joseph , don’t tell me we have been chosen.
Mrs H whispered back practical as ever, what am I going to give them to eat?
Well the full English Breakfast is off the menu I replied.
A few minutes later when we had shown them the room, unloaded their bags and got them settled at the kitchen table for a cuppa the Chap told me they had only just flown in from Tel-aviv that afternoon. This was a holiday they had planned before his wife became pregnant expecting their first child. The plan was just to travel from Scotland down into the south staying at B&B’s and small hotels with no fixed route in mind. He said he hadn’t realised that being August he would be in the middle of our Summer Holidays.
He had stopped at several places looking for a room only to be told they were all fully booked.
Privately I wonder if his lack of success in finding a room was due to the fact that a lot of the local proprietors were Lodge Brothers, you know the sort with a funny handshake and rolled up trouser legs.
Eventually in desperation they had stopped at Dims place, but one look told him that the place was hardly Kosher.
This gave me the opportunity to ask that as they obviously had special dietary requirements, what had we got that would be acceptable for them to eat. That isn’t a problem said the chap, we have brought our own supplies from home, just show me where the crockery is kept and we will do our own cooking.
As it turns out they were a wonderful couple, we had photographs taken with them in our kitchen.
A couple of months later we got a card from them thanking us for our hospitality and telling them they had only just made it back to Israel in time for the birth of their son.
Mind you the Night they stopped with us I did go outside later and look at the sky to make sure that there wasn’t any bright stars overhead. Mind you I did think the ponies were acting strangely in the stables that were attached to our cottage.
Funny what tricks your imagination can play on you.
Regards all, Handy.
Tot & Dim eh! I always have begg & acon for breakfast now, as I also have a habit of letter transposing.
:
& you can't beat a wood burner 
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