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  • #1

    D I V O R C E..........

    or relationship breakdowns.....

    This can be a very stressful time for all concerned, so I thought I would start a thread where for those of us in this position we can voice our concerns and ask for help and opinions from those going through a similar experience.

    My divorce is getting beyond a joke - I am lucky I do not have any children involved just huge amounts of debt (which mounts by the day due to my ex's vindicitive way of dealing with the break up).

    At the moment i think I am very very very close to it all being over, but we are just ironing out the finer details of our financial settlement - this was agreed in April but due to him resting on his big fat lazy butt he is only getting his act together now and is still moving the goal posts to what was agreed back then.

    So who knows if even now it will be sorted........

    I just feel down and depressed thinking about it and I have sleepless nights with it going round in my head. I honestly dont think he will be happy until he sees me pennyless and homeless........ but there you go.............

    Mr Looloo is also nearing the end of his divorce - which is running slightly more smoothly than mine - bearing in mind he has 3 children to consider.

    It has been a hard time for both of us over the past three years but in a way it had made us both stronger and more determined to make our relationship work.

    I have in my mind got to the point that I can't really control what my ex does to me - so I just have to take a deep breath and get on with.

    So if anyone has any concerns or just want to share feel free to post!
    .
    Tags: act, advice, april, bbc, cards, children, costs, court, cross, debt, details, divorce, family, fees, financial, free, help, homeless, income, legal, legal aid, letters, married, money, ombudsman, over charging, rights, share, solicitor, solicitors, threat, work
  • #2
    Re: D I V O R C E..........

    looloo, you have my sympathies....just deserts will be doled out in due course.

    I've been through 3 divorces....Perhaps I married again when I needed a new toaster?

    #1 divorce was done through solicitors, and could have been messy if we both had not taken 'charge' of proceedings....

    #2 I did myself....through the local Court Office....saved a packet of money in fees...

    #3 we 're-arranged' events slightly so that XOH could make use of Legal aid....so hasn't cost us a bean......done after two years of 'separation', and timed to occur before there was any risk of XOH's income rising...absolute arrived some weeks ago.

    Not that divorce has affected our 'relationship' one iota....we remain on excellent terms, sharing our family as we do...I still get b/day and xmas cards from other XOH's and X in-laws....[we divorce each other, not each other's families]...

    The financial side of things we can all deal with eventually.....I did so with a BR.....

    the only downside is that feeling of 'isolation' from the family....I sometimes feel like an outsider, looking in.....a silly response I know, as I'm sure the kids [and XOH] don't consider me an 'outsider'....we lead separate lives, domestically and socially, yet in reality we are still ''a unit''..a family.

    we don't seem to be going ''our separate ways''...more like, parallel ways?

    You are lucky...this time....you have Mr Looloo...focus on that, and relegate your respective divorces to the status of mere inconveniences.

    your sleepless nights seem to be down to 'busy brains'....avoid chocolate at night....

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: D I V O R C E..........

      looloo i hope you can come to an agreement with your ex and move on.

      i got divorced 5 years ago, thankfully there were no children to consider, my ex still dug his heels in and made things more complicated than they needed to be. i remember going to the solicitors on my lunch hour, crying the whole way through the appointment and signing the paperwork. my solicitor even said to me 'you're well out of it' as he had written a few snotty 'i know it all' letters to her! i found it a difficult time, not helped by the ex trying to manipulate me and push me into agreeing to things that weren't fair.

      when you finally get the paperwork sorted and your house sold, you will be able to move on and leave that baggage behind. in the meantime, you know where i am if you need a chat xxx
      .

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: D I V O R C E..........

        Me too hun

        I just can't beleive the costs involved.... nightmare!

        ah well onwards and upwards

        x
        .

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: D I V O R C E..........

          Originally posted by Sunnylooloo
          Me too hun

          I just can't beleive the costs involved.... nightmare!

          ah well onwards and upwards

          x
          i know especially if it drags on (or is dragged out by someone!)
          just grit your teeth... ;K7 you'll get there x
          .

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: D I V O R C E..........

            thanks hun.

            xx
            .

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: D I V O R C E..........

              Hi
              Only posting a i seen divorce topic on here and don't know if this is any relevance. Can delete this thread if u like. Only posting as its just started on telly
              The one show 'legal rights on divorce costs over charging by solicitors' BBC1 7pm tonight might be on iplayer if u missed it.
              I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

              If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: D I V O R C E..........

                Hi
                Only posting a i seen divorce topic on here and don't know if this is any relevance. Can delete this thread if u like. Only posting as its just started on telly
                The one show 'legal rights on divorce costs over charging by solicitors' BBC1 7pm tonight might be on iplayer if u missed it.

                There is now a free legal ombudsman set up
                I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: D I V O R C E..........

                  Cheers 5corpio - I just missed the one show (watching judge judy!) will catch up on iplayer.

                  I am thinking if and this is a big if, nothing gets sorted soon and we go to court - I will self rep after taking my solictors advice before hand - I am not paying solicigtors or barrister costs to go tocourt - end up paying of 6K otherwise!!! I am hoping that mine will be sorted soon

                  c
                  .

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: D I V O R C E..........

                    Originally posted by Sunnylooloo
                    Cheers 5corpio - I just missed the one show (watching judge judy!) will catch up on iplayer.

                    I am thinking if and this is a big if, nothing gets sorted soon and we go to court - I will self rep after taking my solictors advice before hand - I am not paying solicigtors or barrister costs to go tocourt - end up paying of 6K otherwise!!! I am hoping that mine will be sorted soonc
                    the 5 min info about it was a woman ended up with a £21,000 debt from the Solicitor for Fees such as £14 'each' for a solicitor to send e-mails. considering she was quoted that it would cost only £2,000 to start off with...Since she went through the Legal Ombudsman they reduced the charge from £21,000 to £9,000....

                    Link: http://www.legalombudsman.org.uk/ Just been launched today
                    The One Show Link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...ow_06_10_2010/
                    I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                    If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: D I V O R C E..........

                      Thanks will watch that.

                      My solicitor is very up front and we do keep things to a minimum. Trouble is they normally quote you the cost of a "basic" divorce....... but if like mine you have a pr*ck who decided to cross petetion, start financial court proceeding which he had no intention of following through just as a threat and now every time we have to adjorn that it costs money................

                      I will def watch that 5corpio.
                      .

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