custody ?

[nanna58]

Does anyone know what would happen in this situation ? Son divorced 2 boys always lived with him she said that is what she wanted ,7 yrs on son has not had or been offered 1 penny in maintainence, he recontacted CSA recently ,they have written to her her response is ' if he is going to play silly buggers I'll go for custody". My guess is she has no intention of paying so will have the boys instead and get maintainence herself.My question is I suppose how likely is she to get them?

[Undercover Elsa]

Re: custody ?

I don't know Nanna, but surely the fact that he's had them for the last 7 years would act in his favour? And surely even if she got custody, she would still owe the 7 years back payments?
I doubt the court would look kindly on her for evading her financial responsibilities if she did apply.

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

Thank you Elsa I know that she is a nasty piece and I know how her mind works ,she didn't want them when they were little , now they are older and able to be independant she has nothing to do except collect the money.That's why when she left she took her daughter and left the boys .I am so full of hatred even now.

[Grassy_K]

Re: custody ?

I don't know Nanna, but surely the fact that he's had them for the last 7 years would act in his favour? And surely even if she got custody, she would still owe the 7 years back payments?
I doubt the court would look kindly on her for evading her financial responsibilities if she did apply.

Yes indeed, not much chance of custody, the court will not likely take a sympathetic view on her petition, given that the ulterior motives would no doubt come out in court. And court would possibly be very expensive in solicitors' fees, for her, so she is possibly bluffing.

The welfare of the children always comes first in a courtroom, and as long as he can demonstrate they are settled in a stable, loving environment then they will be loath to change that.

[tastyjane]

Re: custody ?

I would be horrified if a court didn't look at the previous 7 years behaviour! Not an expert but send your son my love - I bought up 2 children when their biological father just walked away (and didn't pay a penny) and my hat always goes off to Dads that step up to the mark! I share your hatred for a woman that could just "leave" two little boys some people I know would give everything and more to have children

Jane x

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

Thank you Jane that's common sense to me but do they side with the mother ? Are judges sensible? I have done all the "mom" things wiping tears sewing buttons on taking them on all oin holiday ,my OH and me haven't had break for all that time on our own,and I'm not complaining we have great times.( I'll stop ranting now )

[Grassy_K]

Re: custody ?

Thank you Jane that's common sense to me but do they side with the mother ? Are judges sensible? I have done all the "mom" things wiping tears sewing buttons on taking them on all oin holiday ,my OH and me haven't had break for all that time on our own,and I'm not complaining we have great times.( I'll stop ranting now )

Bit of a myth that the mother always has the upper hand these days. I had the misfortune to marry a cheating ***** who after 10 years, and with a 3 year old son, walked out of the family home with son to live at her mother's, so she could start a relationship with someone else.

I wiped the floor with her in the divorce and got 50% joint custody because there was no reason she could give why my son shouldn't have equal time with his dad.

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

Good for you grassy xxxx in the divorce papers she stated boys to stay with father she would see them Friday night till sat morning.She's been married and split up again now with a younger chap plus numerous in between.x she never rings my son always rings boys she did today about the above to me that's really really unfair we have tried to keep them grounded all time and she messes with their head.x

[PlanB]

Re: custody ?

Nanna I don't know where to begin.

Children should never ever be used as pawns in financial matters.

This issue really needs to be resolved amicably without the risk that the court will impose something dreadful on those poor kids.

I don't know the sums involved but I chose to have my daughter live with me without any maintenance from her father in preference to having some Judge tell me what should happen. My worst nightmare was a total stranger ordering her to live with her estranged father.

Unsurprisingly when I stopped claiming money from her father he stopped wanting to see her.

Plan B x

[Pixie]

Re: custody ?

I agree PlanB, the children's wellbeing should always be the first priority and they shouldn't be used as pawns.

Can I just ask a couple of questions nanna?

You say your son recontacted the CSA so I'm assuming he's been in contact with them before. What happened then?

Also, you mention a daughter. Is this woman's daughter also your son's child?

Is your son's ex-wife working? If so, why shouldn't she pay maintenance for her childre? After all, it's what we expect fathers to do.

I would think it highly unlikely that a judge would disrupt your grandsons by making them go and live with their mother when they've had a stable loving home with their father for 7 years. I believe that there is mediation in place these days where it is elicited who the children would rather live with, though that might be when a divorce is going through not so long after.

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

Hi pix, her daughter is not sons,, she was having £20 a week from her father. Yes she now lives and works in a pub ( which I have to say boys enjoy on afriday night) Yes he contacted CSA at the beginning cos she was not working he couldn't claim although at the start she was told to payn£5 per week she offered £1.00 which he did not accept.yes mediation is offered if she would.He has since been told by CSA that when she was with her working 2nd husband he could have claimed then.Personally I agree with Plan B although no one knoiw more than us how much of struggle it's been at times.No way on this earth would she come to an arrangement short of custody so he would have to pay.I honestly in all my years have never met anyone like her and you would have to see for yourself to understand.xx

[Pixie]

Re: custody ?

I honestly in all my years have never met anyone like her and you would have to see for yourself to understand.xx

Believe me, there are others like her around.

Tell him to keep any texts etc she sends him and not to get into a "battle" with her.

I hope it can all be sorted so the boys can stay with their Dad...it sounds as if he's done a great job bringing them up xx

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

Thank you Pix xx

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

She hasn't mentioned custody again ,but she said to one of the boys ,"if I've got to pay anything I'll give up my job" nice one.what a piece of sloppy shyte .

[nanna58]

Re: custody ?

CSA awarded son £36 a month backdated to March this year that's for the 2 boys. Oh well done dusted better than nothing .