CLOSED -Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

[SXGuy]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

For me the worst day of my life in school, was when a kid decided to have a row with me, and the teacher tried to break it up. I said something to him and he replied with, you what? to which i said, You heard!!, forgetting the teacher wears a hearing aid.

Needless to say, the teacher went quiet, and so did i, dont think we spoke for the rest of the lesson.

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Och Handy brilliant man brilliant

How is the e-cigs and did you get that girl who is getting screwed by the homeopath sorted? Like did you get her blindingly sectioned

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Good Afternoon all, I just saw this photo on FB.


Most of what he said was right, just he got the date wrong.

Regards. Handy

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

.

You know something like that could put you off education for life.
If there were teachers like that today, the pupils would be looking for Harry Potter

Obviously didn't put me off, given my profession!!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Och Handy brilliant man brilliant

How is the e-cigs and did you get that girl who is getting screwed by the homeopath sorted? Like did you get her blindingly sectioned

SC

Hi SC, glad you got your PC problems sorted out.

1. No I'm not using the e ciggy at the moment, stupid of my I know. I'm thinking of trying Hypnotherapy again, but remember what happened to me the last time. (Stage Hypnotist and Chicken )

2. No real word on Lady Hooray's Daughter yet, she's back home from Romania but refusing to take her Mothers calls. Apparently she met a lot of people at this clinic who had been cured by injections of Bicarb. I suppose only time will tell. The Quack is in South Africa this week. (allegedly at a clinic that gives free wrist watches with it's mail order vitamins and can inject you with Bicarb for £20,000 a course).

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

1. No I'm not using the e ciggy at the moment, stupid of my I know. I'm thinking of trying Hypnotherapy again, but remember what happened to me the last time. (Stage Hypnotist and Chicken )

Did you rupture yourself trying to lay a square egg?

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Did you rupture yourself trying to lay a square egg?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Obviously didn't put me off, given my profession!!

Good Job it didn't Pix, I have never met you but I can tell from your posts you must be one hell of a teacher. All I can say is those who have turned you down don't know what an asset they have missed out on.

Stick with it Pixie, something good will turn up for you. Handy has a feeling in his water, and it ain't cystitis.

I bet you were a perfect pupil like me.
I never stole magnesium from the chemistry lab to make flash powder.

It wasn't me who blew all the old desks apart outside the boiler room with a pipe bomb (I wasn't even at school that day).

It was the wrong place at the wrong time when Mick Herring fell down the Quarry at the end of the playing fields. (I wasn't giving Climbing Lessons- He never said he had Vertigo).

And I never threaded a news pare through the stings of the upright piano in the hall to make it sound like a paper and comb.

And finally It wasn't me that caused a mild epidemic of Salmonella when a culture I was working on escaped from the Biology Lab.

Like I said a perfect pupil.

Regards, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Did you rupture yourself trying to lay a square egg?

Did you never read my story?

Well here goes. I knew a stage Hypnotist, he said he could stop me smoking. Well he was half the price of others.
I didn't even know I had gone under, as far as I was aware I was just listening to his voice telling me as soon as I went outside I would through my cigs and lighter in the nearest litter bin.

I went outside feeling great, the first litter bin away went the fag's and lighter. I felt Bloody marvellous. What I never remembered was him telling me if someone offered me a cigarette I would flap my wings, start to cluck and strut about pecking things like a chicken.

The went on for about 6 weeks when the fluence finally wore of I was being offered around a hundred fags a day.

The same Hypnotist got banned from the Northern club circuit because he was that good over 70% of the audience would fall under his spell. He was very popular until one Saturday Night at a Working Men's club near Leeds he tripped over his Microphone lead and said Shit. The result as well as the smell was spectacular.

Regards, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Just before I turn in for the night, here are some pictures of the Squirrel that has taken residence in the Barn Conversion roof.

The blighter was raiding the bird food I have fastened to the espaliered Lime hedge in front of the cottage.

He's starting to do damage (the boss wants him to have a lead enema) but if I have to I will do a trap and release. He really is the sublime acrobat.







I mean how could I take a shot at this little fellow.
Besides my eyesight isn't that good these days. As my father used to say when I played him at darts, I couldn't hit a Bulls Arse with a shovel

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I went outside feeling great, the first litter bin away went the fag's and lighter. I felt Bloody marvellous. What I never remembered was him telling me if someone offered me a cigarette I would flap my wings, start to cluck and strut about pecking things like a chicken.

The went on for about 6 weeks when the fluence finally wore of I was being offered around a hundred fags a day.

But you've done that ever since as it's so much cheaper?

Another chicken:

http://www.subservientchicken.com/pre_bk_skinned.swf

Subservient Chickens X-Rated Bits Exposed by Code - Boing Boing

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

Actually Handy, sad to say, my school was so prim-and-proper that we never did anything like that. The fact that it was an all-girls school might have had something to do with it

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

The fact that it was an all-girls school might have had something to do with it

I always wanted to go to a School like Yours.

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I bet you did!

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman.

I bet you did!

You got me there

Did I tell you about the Nurse I went out with?
We were outside the Nurses Home and I was trying to talk my way in.
She said No Chance Handy. (story of my life).

It's not the first time I have been turned down on Medical Grounds.