Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[philnicandamy]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

sorry to read about the time you've had handy...i'll not repeat everything said but a big blokey hug to you!

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I hope the wandering mind was associated with the pain MrsH has suffered,

On the other hand, wouldn't it be amusing if she were to add starch to the Hoorays's underwear?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, Thanks a lot for the support.

Today's not been too bad, mainly because I have managed to keep out of her way as she's throwing another party tonight.

Clogs, I could do her brakes but why bother, the way she drives she does it often enough without any help from me. 2 new front ends in three years.

As for starching her underwear, His Lordship (when he was alive) once joked to Mrs Handy he wanted creases in his boxers, so that was what he got from then on.

Mrs I, trust me I'm no Saint. I try to play straight but in my life I have left a wide trail of wreckage at the back of me. Call it Karma but I do try to make up for all the damage and hurt I have caused people. I can tell you one thing I have been in this black hole before, but it was a lifetime ago. If things don't pick up soon I will have to see the local Quack or Mental Health Nurse because this time I am finding it very hard to pull my self back up.

Another big post coming up, this is something I wanted to tell you about a couple of weeks ago.

Regards, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, so I said tonight I would tell you why I am so anti drink drive. The Hon Edward Smallwealth once asked me why I didn’t go to some of the local inns that are found around our single track roads down here in the West Country. You won’t get stopped he said there isn’t a Policeman for miles. No I said but there are dozens like yourself who think the road is empty all leaving the Pub at the same time.

There is a gamekeeper I know who had a head on collision with a certain Ex Radio ! DJ on two consecutive nights. On the second occasion he was driving an old Army Lorry and Mr Evans Jeep was written off.

I was once hit head on by a drunk while I was stationary in my old Range Rover, 3 seconds later another drunk rammed me in the rear. He got away while the chap who had spun his car on a bend while doing 70 in a 30 zone on a council estate was crawling out from behind his airbag. This happened @3.30 on a Sunday Afternoon I was breathalysed as well as the chap who hit me. Which just goes to prove that if I had taken a drink with my Sunday Lunch I could have lost my licence as well. Sometimes you don’t need to do anything yourself to fall foul of the Law.

As I said last night I have done it myself in my younger days, more by luck than judgement I got away with it and only did minor damage to my car. If I can put it this way lesson learned.

Back in @ 1998 when I became involved with the Air Cadets, my first intake of Recruits included 3 terrific young lads, Dicky Bird Scoef Schofield and Jon Action Man Ashton. Dicky Bird was the Oldest at 14 the other’s were 13 and 3 months which was the earliest age at which we could accept them.

The 3 Musketeers as they became known by the staff rapidly rose through the Ranks. They were all from different backgrounds, went to different Schools but had the same Enthusiasm, Drive, Discipline and Sense of Adventure.

By the Time the lads were 15 they all held the Rank of Sergeant , Dicky because of his greater age made it to Fight Sergeant first and effectively became head Cadet.

Jon Ashton became known as Action Man because that’s who he reminded us all of. When asked he would throw himself headfirst into the most challenging or dirtiest task and emerge 5 minutes later looking as clean and immaculate as his plastic counter part.

As well as a natural athlete he was a straight A student. A mathematical genius, his Teachers said that at 14 he was already past A level standard. At 15 he was accepted to go to Wellbeck College, which is a 6th form college sponsored by the MOD.

When getting Clearance for Adventure Training was becoming a nightmare I arranged with the Lads Parents to take them on a climbing / walking trip to the Cairngorms as my guests.
That was a trip and a half as they were introduced to Maggot and several of my old Army mates and became part of the gang.

Anyway the Trip was a big success, getting in the second, third and fourth highest Mountains in Scotland in two days.



Left to Right Dave Schoef Schoefield, Jon Action Man Ashton, Kev Dicky Bird and yours Truly Flt Lt Handy - Mann

In the Feith Buidhe ( site of the 1971 disaster )



On the last night as usual we assembled at our old mate Jimmy Gilligans house in Aviemore. Jimmy was an ex RAF Mountain Rescue Team Leader. As the Adults headed for the Legion for a few cold ones Jimmy told the Lads they were welcome to a beer from his fridge.

Result 2 out of 3 very drunken 15 year olds. On the way back up the mountain to the Military Campsite we were using young Jon had his head in a bucket and was swearing that he would never touch another drop in his life.

In October of that year we assisted as Marshalls in a charity sponsored walk around the Derwent Dams in Derbyshire. Jon was put in charge of one of the sweeper units, locating and directing lost walkers.

At the end of the day after we had returned to HQ and put the equipment away I gave him a lift as it was on my way home.

On the following Tuesday I had just returned home from work @ 6.00 pm and was getting ready to go the Squadron when I got a call from my one of my members of staff who told me Jon had been killed in a road accident.

It later transpired that he was crossing the road from the park near his School when he was hit by a car.

Coincidentally the chap who we had helped out on the sponsored walk called me. In real life he was the Police Sergeant for the Coroners Court. Without breaking any confidences he told me that Jon could have been more careful in crossing the road as it was in a blind dip but that the woman who ran him down was a driving instructor who had spent a free afternoon in the pub because she was having personal problems.

At the inquest it turned out that she was doing 40 in a 30 zone and was twice the legal limit. She never even saw Jon and when she heard the bang she thought some of the School Kids who witnessed the accident had thrown something at her car. That was the reason Jon was dragged under the car for over 50 meters before she realised what had happened.

The Ambulance station was only 250 meters away and the Fire Station just a little further. The crew who arrived on seen included Schoefield’s Dad.

Jon was dead before they got him out.

This is why I don’t hold with Drinking and Driving. You may not intend to hurt anyone. It may in reality not be your fault. If Jon had stayed on the pavement and not run across the road to chat up a Girl he was interested in. The Lady Driving Instructor would have in all probability made it home without incident.

All for the sake of an afternoon on the pish she was Jailed for a year and a young man with a promising future was lost.

Before I finish, Jon’s parents asked my Boss FLT LT Phill Potts If Jon could be buried in his Cadet Uniform as it was such a large part of his life. Now we had no problems with that. Then It was requested that The Cadets act as Pall bearers. To get permission for this would have meant jumping through so many hoops as well as having it approved all the way up to HQ Cranwell and by the RAF Press office. So Phill Potts just said lets keep this quiet. So we did.

In the Last Week in October 1999 We buried Jon with Full Military Honours.

Tonight Lady H is holding a Birthday party for a friend. In an hour or so there will be at least 3 drivers on the roads who will be 2 or 3 times over the limit, all with more than a few miles to go to get home and they are all more than wealthy enough to pay for a Taxi. They rely on being in a rural area to avoid getting stopped .

Oh how I do hope that the local plod gets them. Still when one knows the Local High Court Judge, MP and Chief Constable not a lot ever happens.

Regards all, Handy.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

caltrops - link

That is all.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Wouldn't be the first time I have used Caltrops.

Looking forward to work this morning as there was some sort of Fracas at the hall last night.

Cars coming and going in the wee small hours. The last guest to leave was just a few minutes ago. The laughable thing is they are all in their 70's and they act like flipping Hoody Teenagers.

[PlanB]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Wouldn't be the first time I have used Caltrops.

Looking forward to work this morning as there was some sort of Fracas at the hall last night.

Cars coming and going in the wee small hours. The last guest to leave was just a few minutes ago. The laughable thing is they are all in their 70's and they act like flipping Hoody Teenagers.

Did any of them have blue flashing lights on the roof

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Handy, I hope you can get sorted out, I don't like to see you feeling so down

What a waste of such a promising young life - it really upset me to read that story.

A few years ago I knocked a guy down. He just stepped out from between parked cars without even looking. The first I saw of him was when I hit him...not a nice feeling. I was breathalysed and, even though it was a Friday night just before Christmas, I hadn't touched a drop because I knew I had to pick up my daughter when she finished as a waitress at a local country club. It turns out that the guy was totally pissed, so much so that when he woke up in hospital he thought he'd fallen down the stairs. Among other injuries, he broke his pelvis, but if I'd been pissed/speeding, he would have been a lot more badly injured, possibly killed.

[PlanB]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Handy. Please don't feel down

Whenever I find myself in a black hole (most of the time!) with people giving me grief I tell myself it's better than being bored and ignored

Maybe Lady Snooty is jealous of the attention your dear wife is getting from you when she thinks you should see her as Number 1 in your life. Perhaps a case of Lady Chatterley Syndrome

[mrsinvisible]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Plan B, that last comment has ruined my laptop! I was eating a curry when I read it and pebbledashed the whole thing with tandoori masala sauce!

[philnicandamy]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Maybe Lady Snooty is jealous of the attention your dear wife is getting from you when she thinks you should see her as Number 1 in your life. Perhaps a case of Lady Chatterley Syndrome

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Maybe Lady Snooty is jealous of the attention your dear wife is getting from you when she thinks you should see her as Number 1 in your life. Perhaps a case of Lady Chatterley Syndrome

Bad Manners?

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Plan B, that last comment has ruined my laptop! I was eating a curry when I read it and pebbledashed the whole thing with tandoori masala sauce!

But would 'Lady' Hooray allow her servants to read that book?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Handy. Please don't feel down

Whenever I find myself in a black hole (most of the time!) with people giving me grief I tell myself it's better than being bored and ignored

Maybe Lady Snooty is jealous of the attention your dear wife is getting from you when she thinks you should see her as Number 1 in your life. Perhaps a case of Lady Chatterley Syndrome

Oh Plan B, in some way's your right she always has to be the centre of attention. There are plenty round here that are more wealthy or better connected than her, but she wont have anything to do with them. Amongst her group of hangers on she is the only one that can afford a full time staff (even if it is only me and the Missus). Therefore Handy is a Status and not a Sex Symbol

Oh they were the days when I was on the Holiday Camps as an entertainer. Most days I used to crawl into work on all fives.

I lost my sex appeal when I swopped my Dinner Jacket and Uniform for Gumboots and a Wheelbarrow.

Lady H isn't the sort to like a bit of Rough and god knows I'm rough, unless they have at least 3M in a Swiss account.

Looking forward to work this morning as there was some sort of Fracas at the hall last night.

I was right It was the Rt Hon Edward Smallwealth and His Wife Lady Catationia having a row.

I have often mentioned these two. He who is Lady Hooray's old Flame and looks like Michael Winner, with a preference for French Tarts and she who was single-handedly responsible for building a new wing at the Priory. Being married to Edward I can quite understand why.

They arrived in separate cars, they had both had a few "Stiffeners" before they got here. About 12:30 she drove off followed by the Hon Edward. He followed her for the 18 miles back to their house in the centre of Lyme Regis and then drove back here to spend the night at the hall?

When he left this morning he didn't look fit to drive, mind you a pint of G&T and a couple of bottles of red will do that to you.

Lady H apologised if we had been disturbed. I said it was all right, I just thought I was listening to a Rave in Ibiza.

I said why didn't you take the keys off them and call a cab, that would have been the responsible adult thing to do. If you had seen the look on her face. After all one does not treat ones guests that way.

That's all for now.

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Just before I turn in, for at the moment I could sleep for England. I was thinking today that part of my problem is I feel I have lost my identity. I was never much of a somebody, and when we left the city for the country some ten years ago were happy to enjoy the "Quiet Life" But in the 6 years we have been here we have only had 2 night out. All our energy's have been used travelling up country to look after elderly relatives or hapless children.

Old age and senility are not creeping in any more its galloping. I'm finally beginning to look and act every bit of my age.

I was always active and off on adventures. I suppose that's why in the end the first Mrs Handy had enough.

I was thinking of this old song by the Dubliners and It just about sums me up. I think it's the third verse which goes "when you've been a man of action"



Regards, Handy