Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I used to like Paul Samples Ogri cartoon in MCN each week.
That was in the day's when I was a Hairy Biker that must have been @ 1/2 a century ago.

Not sure I need any illustration, I am what it says on the tin.
Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all. Well a day and a half of sunshine make all the difference. Mind you Lady Hooray thinks I should be going flat out now to repair all the weather damage. The garden is looking pretty flat and overgrown. The marvellous display of Roses we were having have all been dashed by the wind and rain. It wouldn't be so bad as I have hardly lost any time. When it was too wet to work out doors I was repairing tumble dryers, fixing sticking window frames and servicing all the mowing equipment. Oh and clipping the coats of both her terriers.

Listen to my voice on the video and you will know how peed of I was, a day and a half plastered in mud and soaked to the skin.


As soon as the sun came out it was shrub and hedge cutting.

Oh how I like a trim bush

Before.

After.

Before.

2 Hours later.

Though moving all the clippings did take me all morning.
The I got, you will get my lawn cut this afternoon, as it's looking a little woolly You have got it she has visitors this weekend. As if their Gardeners haven't had the same problems with the weather as me. As it Happens despite the weather the formal lawn hasn't missed one cut this year and often has been done twice.

I kid you not, with Mrs Handy overdoing it now her stitches are out, her state of mind and the crap I get off the boss I am getting really fed up. Life should be better than this.

I have worked hard to earn a breakdown, I deserve it amd no one is going to stop me

Only kidding, but what does a Handyman have to do to get a break.

More mowing to do tomorrow if it stays dry.

Regards all, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Oh how I like a trim bush

Has Lady Hooray had her bush trimmed?

Only kidding, but what does a Handyman have to do to get a break.

Trip over his rake.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

This was Hooray Valley this morning.




I was smiling to myself because recently Sir Tarquin Fod Scrotum has ploughed up this field which was ancient pasture land and planted it with Maize. The reason for it being left as pasture is it is a flood plain protecting our local town. Now all it's fit for is Rice.

Son Christo-Fire has been down for a couple of days to see his Mum.
He set of this morning to head back to his circus Job in Norwich.

About an hour after he left he phoned to say that he couldn't get to a main road because of the flooding. 1/2 an hour after that he called again to say his car had sunk.

Mrs Handy called the Fire Brigade who had to call in a specialist team from over 40 mile away as all the local lads were on other calls.

I set off to see if I could help. About a mile from the hall I had to get out and wade. I met a chap who was trying to pump his house out. Seeing as his house is on the top of a hill, but the water was coming from a dip in the road outside his house, will let you get an idea of how bad it was.



The picture doesn't do justice to how bad it was. The farm next door had 3 feet of water flowing through the barn. A cow and Calf had been swept away and the 30+ 6 week old calves were standing on bails of hay to keep out of the water. A workshop and two other houses were also flooded.

As I arrived at where the river goes under the road 2 fireman were beginning to wade across as they couldn't get any further even with their 4X4. The current across the road was incredible.

As I stood talking to the other crewman the tarmac under our feet began to blister and pop with the force of water undermining the road.

Soon after a chap with an American Hummer came past and attempted the crossing. He later picked up the firemen and took them through another 2 floods to get to Christo.




Meanwhile I was helping the Farmer look for the missing calf without success.

He then went with his tractor to get Chris and Alice.

After we got home and dried out, we tried to get into town for supplies, well I had run out of Fags and Scotch.

On the second attempt we waded it to Wetrose.


I thought you may think this picture amusing, look at the road name.

We haven't got Christo's car back yet. A phone call to his insurance and they have written his car off without even looking at it.

Who said they need an Ark.

We are all doomed, doomed I tell you

Regards all, Handy

[Spent2much]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

that looks really bad, hope the insurance replace your son's car quickly.
I know its a bad situation but you make me laugh everytime i read your posts , its so great this forum with such lovely people . so pleased i was directed her i have become and addict in just seven days

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

It shouldn't take too long as he need his car for work. A courtesy car will be with him by Monday and he has the use of it for a couple of weeks. I suppose a lot depends on how many other cars they have to inspect. If the worst comes to the worst I have my old one which I'm trying to sell that he can use for a while to get him out of the hole.

As to being an AAD adict, Great Int it

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

OOps must say I have just heard from Kid Sis, I was worried because she lives in a Caravan (Big One) on the side of the Trent. She say's water levels are high but now sign of problems yet.

So fingers, legs and eyes crossed that they will be OK

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

[Spent2much]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

It shouldn't take too long as he need his car for work. A courtesy car will be with him by Monday and he has the use of it for a couple of weeks. I suppose a lot depends on how many other cars they have to inspect. If the worst comes to the worst I have my old one which I'm trying to sell that he can use for a while to get him out of the hole.

As to being an AAD adict, Great Int it

yer it sure is great here

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I wonder if the drains in the Olympic Stadium will be sufficient.

If they're not, the track events should be interesting.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Brilliant Clever, I had forgotten that one of Stanley Holloway's
This is my favourite.



Of course we will be in a minority as only people who remember proper Music Hall and the Home service are likely to remember folk like Stanley.

Mrs Handy does a good monologue in the style of Joyce Grenfell



Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Could I also point out that there are none of us that are as old as we sound Just that we had an old fashioned upbringing (dragged up )

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, as I said on anything goes. You wouldn't think the storms had happened. The only evidence is the large amounts of gravel and stone scattered across some of the roads where the water settled.

The total number of homes damaged in our little town must exceed several hundred. We are on the Devon, Somerset, Dorset border so we were around 30 miles from the epicentre.

My heart goes out to all the homes with piles of sodden carpet and underlay outside waiting for the council to come and assist with the clear up.

The truth of the matter is that if Dorset County Council were not cost cutting on the Highways budget a lot of the flooding would not happen.

We have all on getting them to cut the hedges and verges. (In fact I do our junction with the main road) This is a hazard as when you are trying to pull out onto the road your view is obstructed by waist high grass. The speed of cars coming around our stretch of road is around 50-60 mph so you only get around 50yds warning.

On the way into town this afternoon we stopped to help a chap who was trying to get a fallen tree off the road.


He had called the Police to tell them of the obstruction. The response was if you have a 4X4 can you move it for us as yesterday was busy and we are having the day off.

We were the first car in 1/2 an hour to stop and help. Christo helped the chap fix the rope while a passing cyclist and myself did traffic control and got the queue of traffic moving again.

One Land Rover pulling a trailer load of Hay Bales stopped as it passed me. I didn't recognise the driver at first until he said are you dryer today Handy. It was Aidie the Farmer who did an 8 mile round trip to with his tractor to rescue Christo and his girlfriend yesterday.

More and more I think folk are beginning to realise that in this day and age when disaster strikes the only people you can rely on are yourselves and good neighbours.

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Just been watching Caroline Spellman the Environment Minister visiting a new development in Devon. She was saying how well the flood defences had worked and how local councils could approach central government for extra cash to repair damaged defences.

I found this on a Peterborough community site.

Unfilled sandbags are probably the best form of emergency flood defence and usually you can get them from the council but when everyone wants them at the same time and they do arrive UNFILLED it's best to make you own arrangements! Click the link above for one of the best suppliers, they work out at about 90 pence each plus the cost of the sand.

The average house will need around 50 for just basic defence filling door frames, covering airvents and lining french windows. The next action is to get some coarse sand from your local builders merchants and start filling. If you have time move all your valuables to upper floors in your house,and lay in supplies. Remember that floodwater is essentially sewage and if the flooding is severe manhole covers will 'pop' and leave gaping holes and deep open drains and drain chambers. So don't even think of wading along where you think the pavement should be.


We also suggest that you don't rely on the Environment Agency for any practical help at all other than advisory help lines and television warnings. The simple fact is that successive governments, have ruthlessly cut back on flood defence measures and following the Environment Agency takeover of the NRA National Rivers Authority, dredging and river works were also cut right back and the fabled man on the sluice gate given his cards.

Now Unfilled Sandbags are as much use as a chocolate fire-guard. Now speaking as an old Army Engineer Sand Bagging is an art in itself.

Filling them is a real pain. Why can't councils supply them ready for use.

Yesterday I watched a Farmer dig a new drainage ditch by the side of his farm. He had lost livestock in the flood. He told me he had been onto the county council for years to sort the drainage. They told him they couldn't do a ditch because if any one put their car in it they could be held responsible. Likewise if he did it he could be sued. So he said I'm doing anyway. If anyone asks the flood washed a groove down the side of the lane.

I told him he should bill the council and the environment agency for the damage to his home.

Likewise if anyone puts their car in the new ditch it's because they were driving unsafely down a single track road. More than likely they were visiting the pub at the end of the lane and relying on the fact that there is only a 1000/1 chance of being pulled by the law in our part of the country.

Regards all Handy.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well I'm well and truly knockered tonight. I have been on the strimmer most of the day.

First job was to cut the verge on the main road as the council only do a narrow strip. The means when the rest of the verge gets knee high unless your in a high vehicle you can't see the traffic speeding round the bend.

Next job was to strim several hundred meters of Hooray lane (both sides) as the rain has collapsed all the nettles, ferns and brambles into the road, which is scratching the hell out of the cars.

Last thing today Lady H said she didn't think she should pay me for doing the lane! Now agreed the council should do it twice a year.

But since the Fod Scrotums put up a misleading sign stating it is a private road, the council don't want to know.

They will only maintain the road when it is of benefit to them.

Lady Hooray said your the only one who cares about your car that's why you did it.

Wrong I said, last year when I told you I wouldn't do it because I'm not insured to do it, you insisted. When you pull out in front of someone it will be classed as your fault for driving carelessly and when you go to trade in your car and find it's a £1,000 less than you hopes because the bodywork is naffed you will be bothered.

It's not for me to chase the council or the Fod Scrotums to get the lane maintained as you are the land owner.

But your right come Friday just pay me 2 hours less. I will stand to the sweat, but you pay for the petrol.

Ooooo That BL@@dy Woman.

Highlight of the day, Stepson Christofire has finally got his courtesy car and left. A visit is nice but I always have a week of clearing up the trail of destruction the arrogant S@D leaves behind.

Regards to all, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

If the stupid buggers don't like paying to have the verges cut, why not put weed-killer on them?

Or you could use weed-killer on the verges.