Grandaughters toilet fears

[Elsie52]

Okay all you mums, aunties, grandma's, here is a problem for you to help me solve.

My grandaughter is 5, she'll be 6 in the summer, but she has a fear of public toilets.!! This as you can imagine causes us all sorts of problems, she will not go to the loo until we get home. This came on last year and we don't know the reason for it, she will come into the ladies, but not into the cubicles......she stands at the doorway and checks......do they have seats?, not black ones.....do they have lids?...does the toilet bowl have holes at the back where the water comes from? and even after we have checked all that she still won't go.

It causes serious problems when we go out or away on holiday.......we usually end up parking up in a layby where hubby 'holds her out' so she can have a wee.......he's had more wet shoes than you can imagine, but she can't go hours on end without going to the loo, so we have no alternative. We are due to take them on holiday in May, we are going to Turkey which is a 4 1/2 hour flight......in desperation I have bought some pull ups for her, what else can we do. I/we don't want to make matters worse by pressurizing her.

Any suggestions folks?

[Angelic]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Nothing wrong with having a pee outside

Have you asked her why she doesn't like to go in a public toilet? Maybe it's a bit to small and she feels a bit claustrophobic? Maybe someone told her they are full of germs and now she doesn't want to use them? Maybe she's just used to using her own toilet?

When we went away for a few days, I had to take DD's toilet seat with us. She refused to go anywhere without it and try as I might, she just refused point blank pee outside!

Does your little lady have a special toilet seat or something you could try to take with you? Could you get her a cheap £5 one from Tesco to take with you to see if she'd use it? I know it's minging but I put some anti-bacterial spray into a wee bottle with a wee cloth and cleaned it to put it back in its bag for life then used anti-bac hand gel

[Elsie52]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Hi Angelic.

We have asked her and all we get is " I don't like them", but we can tell from her reaction that its not just a case of her not wanting to go, but that she has a fear of them....she virtually creeps into the washrooms and we have to coax her to come and inspect them, but she won't ever go inside the door. We have even gone into the mother and baby or disabled cubicles to give us more room, but the reaction is just the same. We once tried to force her to go, out of sheer desperation, and its was awful, she had arms and legs out clinging on to the outside of the door. She has got her own toilet seat at our house and at home, but she doesn't use it anymore....she is a big girl now.!! she says. We really are at our wits end trying to sort it but without making it into a big issue. We were going to take the kids to Florida, but we knew that 9 1/2 hour flight and being in the airport for 2 hours before flying, would be too much for her.......she couldn't possibly not go to the loo for that length of time. Perhaps it will go as quickly as it came and we can go back to normal....kids eh.!!

[Elsie52]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

I will ask her if she would like us to take her toilet seat with us.......I am having the kids next week 'cos its half term and their mum works fulltime.

[Angelic]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Kids have definitely got their little 'quirks' haven't they?!

I'm not sure what you could try! I'd be at my wits end! I thought DDand her eating habits were bad enough, I can't imagine what it must be like for you guys with DGD!

Pull ups are a good idea but would she forget she wasn't wearing one and end up having an accident?

[Angelic]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Elsie has she ever used a public toilet with an automatic flush?

[di30]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

So sorry to hear your granddaughter going through this problem, but I do think maybe its worth taking her own little toilet seat in a bag just in case. As she will recognise her own seat it may help.

I can always remember when i was little, when we were travelling some miles out, there was these toilets, like cubicles on the side of the road (under cover of course(, but they had a strange smell, it was not exactly disinfectant but something like that, and i can always remember being very anxious about using them, and mum had to keep persuading me, and i would be literally peeing myself as well.
I think it was because they did not look like the toilets we had at home and they were very small but also like something out of space....not that I know what they would like like outer space of course lol.
I can always remember them being a silver in colour too.

However, I would only end up having a wee if mum sat on there first.

Hope this resolves soon Elsie, its a worry when they hold on isn't it?

Good luck sweetheart XXX

[Gerry]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

My friends little girl was born with her bowel outside her body, just before her surgery to fix it she found her daughter sitting on the toilet when she asked what she was doing she said “I’m just practising for after my surgery mummy “.
God bless the wee soul..

Hope your ok elsie, try not to worry too much...

Gerry x x

[di30]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

My friends little girl was born with her bowel outside her body, just before her surgery to fix it she found her daughter sitting on the toilet when she asked what she was doing she said “I’m just practising for after my surgery mummy “.
God bless the wee soul..

Hope your ok elsie, try not to worry too much...

Gerry x x

oh .

XXX

[Elsie52]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Kids have definitely got their little 'quirks' haven't they?!

I'm not sure what you could try! I'd be at my wits end! I thought DDand her eating habits were bad enough, I can't imagine what it must be like for you guys with DGD!

Pull ups are a good idea but would she forget she wasn't wearing one and end up having an accident?

Angelic.

I have only bought Pull ups for her to wear during the flight in case she can't hold on......this is the strange thing 'cos when we get to the hotel she will be fine and use the toilet ' cos its 'ours'. !???

Don't know about the automatic flush, I would think probably so, but will check with her next week.

[Elsie52]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Thanks Gerry and Di.

She has always had a few anxieties of some sort........but this came on out of the blue. I did wonder if her older brother had frightened her by saying something was going to come out of the bowl and bite her bum etc......you know what boys are like lol, but he says he hasn't.!! You don't realise what a problem it can be, on days out etc its a nightmare, and I'm sure its not doing her insides any good by holding on to everything. She is here for the week next week, so I'll broach the subject again and ask her if she would like a new toilet seat to take with us when we go out......but she was adamant that she's a big girl now and doesn't need one......did I forget to say that she was stubborn too.!!!

She's also the light of my life as we have 3 sons and 2 grandsons, so only girl.!!

[Gerry]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Hi Elsie,

Here's the link for supernanny Jo Frost, there might be something on there to help you or maybe you could post your problem for advice.

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/

Good luck.

Gerry x x

[fiscalfool]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

As a slight aside, will she go to toilets in restaurants etc? They might be easier to find if desperate.

[Elsie52]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Nope........no where but home and hotel rooms that we are staying in......everywhere else is a no go.!!

[fiscalfool]

Re: Grandaughters toilet fears

Hmmm 2 litre bottle of water ... poured from height into the sink in a public toilet. The sight and sound of water will have her dashing for the nearest cubicle.

Sorry ... couldn't think of anything constructive!