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Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

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  • Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

    We've been told my dad is in the last stage of his illness. He's bedridden now and has lost the ability to swallow most of the time , he isn't eating and barley drinks.

    He's in a care home and our doctor spoke to my mum about what care she would like him to receive. She decided to keep him in the care home until he passes, a new hospital bed is being delivered Tuesday with an air mattress.

    The sister from the GP is going in daily - I've been expecting this for a long time I'm prepared for him going but still the pain is unbearable seeing my dad laid there staring into space and very occasionally speaking in a really low whisper - he has lost weight and looks like a skeleton . He asked for ice cold water yesterday but can't drink it - we now give him fluids from a fluid stick it has a cotton ball on the end and we dip it in ice cold water and he sucks it .

    I've never seen this or been through this before so don't kow what to expect , or how long my dad has left but I think maybe a week or so .

    So that's it really , wanted to mention it as I have always received support from you all .

    God bless xxx

    s2m
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  • #2
    Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

    Originally posted by Spent2much View Post
    We've been told my dad is in the last stage of his illness. He's bedridden now and has lost the ability to swallow most of the time , he isn't eating and barley drinks.

    He's in a care home and our doctor spoke to my mum about what care she would like him to receive. She decided to keep him in the care home until he passes, a new hospital bed is being delivered Tuesday with an air mattress.

    The sister from the GP is going in daily - I've been expecting this for a long time I'm prepared for him going but still the pain is unbearable seeing my dad laid there staring into space and very occasionally speaking in a really low whisper - he has lost weight and looks like a skeleton . He asked for ice cold water yesterday but can't drink it - we now give him fluids from a fluid stick it has a cotton ball on the end and we dip it in ice cold water and he sucks it .

    I've never seen this or been through this before so don't kow what to expect , or how long my dad has left but I think maybe a week or so .

    So that's it really , wanted to mention it as I have always received support from you all .

    God bless xxx

    s2m
    My thoughts and prayers with you and yours.

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    • #3
      Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

      My nan went through the same thing in the end. It was about a week from that stage till she passed. Stay strong
      I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

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      • #4
        Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

        so sorry to here this S2M, stay strong for your Mum, thoughts and prayers with you all xxx
        I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

        If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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        • #5
          Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

          Thinking of you. I have this to come with my mum.

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          • #6
            Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

            I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time, it's a horrible situation to be in. My thoughts are with you and your family.
            I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

            If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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            • #7
              Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

              Originally posted by JLC View Post
              Thinking of you. I have this to come with my mum.
              I'm in a terrible state I think this end of life care bollocks is all wrong - stopping all medication all food all fluids and watching your loved one dehydrate and suffer a slow death while all their internal organs shut down .

              Last edited by Spent2much; 25th June 2017, 18:37.
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              • #8
                Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                Sorry S2M I know you must find it difficult, You are greiving for a loss to come, we all do it in differing ways, but please do not take it out on your mum,
                your Mum is struggleing to do the right thing, The man she loved and married all those years ago is no longer there, He is not going to get better, he is not going to be the person you love and remember.
                A hard choice has to be made, She may have seemed cold and distant to do it, would you rather he be kept alive by a machine? would he want that?, Maybe he made this decision when he started being Ill, they may have discussed this many times, I know my mum and Dad did,as have myself and hubby,
                If he was an animal he would be Put to sleep to ease the pain and suffering, as a human being this is not allowed, he will be kept comfortable, he will not be left to just suffer pain,
                his organs are already shutting down, his body would be unable to cope with food,
                My Mum is in a care home she is going through this every day, she knows she is slowly getting worse, She has made the desision that they are not to prolong her life and we have to support that decision,
                we have watched her slowly changing from one person into another, BUT she is still Mum and I hope her end is a Quick one.
                There should be a bereavement councilor at the hospital or a chaplin you can talk to, You need to talk to someone,
                Please don't hate your Mum she is losing her life partner, don't let her lose a daughter aswell.

                Sorry if this is not what you want to hear, But I send you my love and prayers for you and your family.
                I pray that your Dad will pass quickly and not suffer long

                God Bless NW xx
                I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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                • #9
                  Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)
                  Last edited by Spent2much; 25th June 2017, 18:36.
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                  • #10
                    Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                    Last edited by Spent2much; 25th June 2017, 18:36.
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                    • #11
                      Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                      I know that pain well,
                      my farther in law died the same way some years back, so did my dad, my Mum will go the same way,
                      My sister had cancer and died within a fortnight of being told,she was also told she had dementia so maybe an early death saved her some heart ache,
                      My brother deciced to take his life rather than struggle with mental illness, leaving 2 young children, I used to do the night watch with him, hence the name on here,
                      I still feel as if I failed him and his children.
                      so believe me I have known great sorrow and pain

                      I did not mean to cause you any more pain at this sad time,walk away if you must, blessed be
                      I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                      If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                        Originally posted by nightwatch View Post
                        I know that pain well,
                        my farther in law died the same way some years back, so did my dad, my Mum will go the same way,
                        My sister had cancer and died within a fortnight of being told,she was also told she had dementia so maybe an early death saved her some heart ache,
                        My brother deciced to take his life rather than struggle with mental illness, leaving 2 young children, I used to do the night watch with him, hence the name on here,
                        I still feel as if I failed him and his children.
                        so believe me I have known great sorrow and pain

                        I did not mean to cause you any more pain at this sad time,walk away if you must, blessed be
                        Hi,sorry about your loss too its hard .

                        My dad is still fighting to be here its heart breaking seeing him he's breathing heavy with snores and doesn't move what a cruel way to go and this 'end of life care' is the cruelest thing I have witnessed and even worse when its your own loved ones .

                        Will update his condition as I can , thank you for your support and for caring xx
                        Last edited by Spent2much; 25th June 2017, 18:42.
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                        • #13
                          Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                          Maybe that is what he was holding on for, now you need to tell him all is well so he can pass a happy man ,
                          glad you got things sorted,
                          NW xx
                          I'm an official AAD Moderator and also a volunteer, here to help make the forum run smoothly. Any views or opinions are mine and not the official line of AAD. Similarly, any advice I have offered you is done so on an informal basis, without prejudice or liability. If in doubt seek advice from a qualified insured professional - Find a Solicitor or go to the National Probono Centre.

                          If you spot an abusive or libellous post then please report it by Clicking Here. If you need to contact me, for instance if I've issued you a warning, moved, edited or deleted your post, please send me a message by clicking my username.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Last stage of Parkinson's and dementia (my dad)

                            Originally posted by nightwatch View Post
                            Maybe that is what he was holding on for, now you need to tell him all is well so he can pass a happy man ,
                            glad you got things sorted,
                            NW xx
                            I told my dad I am going to look after her and he had tears in his eyes , today we've been and he's progressed a lot its painful but we have to get through it and see him pass now .


                            thank you NW I never realised i had opened up my heart quite so much xx
                            Last edited by Spent2much; 25th June 2017, 18:43.
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