My dad is really ill

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Garlok is right on the issue regarding disability facilities grants (DFG) this are assessed by the county council and if granted is handed over to borough council environmental dept to inspect and assess the property for the work to be done.

Because it is council you do have to keep at them and force them into doing the work as councils do not exactly go at lightning speed.

We have a disability wetroom and is the best thing ever done as it makes cleaning ones body so much easier.

If you are a council tenant the council will do the work themselves via a contractor if you own the home the council will instruct you to get 3 quotes which is what I had to do although the council did give me a long list of contractors that had done satisfactory work for them in the past.

I have photos of my conversion if you would like to see them just shout.

would like to see the photos please if that's okay

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Some doctors get stroppy on this issue but this is a real case of care needed. You and your brother are his children and direct blood relatives, you Mom sounds as if she needs support as well. If they cut up rusty then tell the GP to get their Butt around there on a house visit toute suite making sure you and your brother are there with your Mom. At that point it is possible to force the issue as in his state, it is probable that he is not of fit state of mind to make a rational decision and it will then be your mother's decision as his next of kin. Failure then to comply and provide help and support both to him and his carers i.e. you and your Mom is gross professional misconduct which can be reported to the GMC for a disciplinary hearing. We have been through this with Mrs G's brother and the Social services supposedly looking after him (he under a section 117 order anyway for his mental disability) We are moving forward with a Court of Protection Deputyship which means they and his doctors cannot even draw breath without the permission of the court appointed deputy (Mrs G and her elder brother) If they then fail then the Office of the Public Guardian will send sheriffs around to arrest the buggers doctors and all on the spot.

The [primary concern of the GP has to be the care and welfare of the patient and he/she is NOT allowed to cause harm and doing nothing or hiding behind Data protection which causes harm is gorunds for removal from the register. Not sure but I think there was a hearing which reinforced this in front of the GMC in December 2010 run by Pannone solicitors in Manchester. Memory might be a bit awry there as we followed another case at that time.

regards
G

My friend is a GP i am seeing him tomorrow i will speak to him , he has even gone to see my parents as a freind at times espcially when my mum had cancer in 2010 he took flowers and just popped to see how she was doing. I don't like to bother him though but on this occasion i am going to he understands .

[Miss Muddled]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M

Your post brings back so many heartbreaking memories when Hubby first had accident and when my Dad had onset Parkinson and Dementia, as for Hubby these are still ongoing issues we have with many hospital doctors (not GP), you feel so helpless.

With my dad was different he came to live with us and I started going to appointments with him and gained a good relationship with his GP who then had no probs discussing things with me without Dad being there as she knew Dad allowed me to know what was going on, then we decided to get Power of Attorney which was a god send when my dad was not really able to make decisions for himself.....this also includes a welfare amd health part which gave me full say what happened to my Dad, they were going to withdraw food and meds at one point when he had chest infection, luckily we had this because we over rided their decision which was just as well as he recovered, to spend another 2 happy years with us.

As for aids as Garlock says they who shouts the loudest!!!! we found that out with Hubby's problems, falling over, couldn't get him into shower or bath, couldn't get him in and out of bed eventually I threatened them I would go to papers if we didnt get any help. They then decided we really needed these aids, so don't let them off with it as if someone else shouts louder they will get help first.

Maybe if you go along with your Dad for an apointment visit and explain to GP whats going on with yoour Dads permission of course then you may have a wee bit more insight to whats happening and keep a watchfull eye on the Medcial Profession because realy you become just another statistic on their books and if you Mum & Dad are of the generation they dont want to bother anybody then the Dotors will just leave them to soldier on.

Sorry for ranting on but this is a really sore point in our house especialy with Doctors at Hospitals. Now I dont take any crap off them in fact you could say I have lost a lot of respect for the medical profession.

I hope you get things sorted out and maybe if Dad's meds get balanced out to make life a bit more enjoyable for you all.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M

Your post brings back so many heartbreaking memories when Hubby first had accident and when my Dad had onset Parkinson and Dementia, as for Hubby these are still ongoing issues we have with many hospital doctors (not GP), you feel so helpless.

With my dad was different he came to live with us and I started going to appointments with him and gained a good relationship with his GP who then had no probs discussing things with me without Dad being there as she knew Dad allowed me to know what was going on, then we decided to get Power of Attorney which was a god send when my dad was not really able to make decisions for himself.....this also includes a welfare amd health part which gave me full say what happened to my Dad, they were going to withdraw food and meds at one point when he had chest infection, luckily we had this because we over rided their decision which was just as well as he recovered, to spend another 2 happy years with us.

As for aids as Garlock says they who shouts the loudest!!!! we found that out with Hubby's problems, falling over, couldn't get him into shower or bath, couldn't get him in and out of bed eventually I threatened them I would go to papers if we didnt get any help. They then decided we really needed these aids, so don't let them off with it as if someone else shouts louder they will get help first.

Maybe if you go along with your Dad for an apointment visit and explain to GP whats going on with yoour Dads permission of course then you may have a wee bit more insight to whats happening and keep a watchfull eye on the Medcial Profession because realy you become just another statistic on their books and if you Mum & Dad are of the generation they dont want to bother anybody then the Dotors will just leave them to soldier on.

Sorry for ranting on but this is a really sore point in our house especialy with Doctors at Hospitals. Now I dont take any crap off them in fact you could say I have lost a lot of respect for the medical profession.

I hope you get things sorted out and maybe if Dad's meds get balanced out to make life a bit more enjoyable for you all.

Hi thank you, I just came from their house and mum got a phone call saying that someone is coming to assess them Monday afternoon, also it is only just 2 weeks since the medication was restarted and my dad seems better today he was trying to sing bless him , i have to admit that today has given me new hope but Friday i had my doubts, I asked my mum if i could be there on Monday and she is the old fashioned type that thinks its only the patients that can know everything, i didn't push it as she is quite stuck in her ways , i do hope something gets done for them, i thought of having them live me us as i have two bathrooms but that wouldn't help as they find it hard to get upstairs and can't get into the bath anyway so no point , plus i feel i need the break from them just for my own relationship with my husband, i don't think i could cope with my mum around me 24/7 as much as i love them both i need to have time on my own with my husband.
So hopefully on Monday we know more

[pompeyfaith]

Re: I think my dad is dying

S2M your wish is my command here you go, as you can see there was quite a bit of work involved as we had a separate toilet and bathroom next to each other so they took out the dividing wall.

As you can see they done a fantastic job of the tiling, and the shower is a disability one with a big easy to grip temp control and mounted lower so can be set from the seat plus an extra long shower head extender.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

S2M your wish is my command here you go, as you can see there was quite a bit of work involved as we had a separate toilet and bathroom next to each other so they took out the dividing wall.

As you can see they done a fantastic job of the tiling, and the shower is a disability one with a big easy to grip temp control and mounted lower so can be set from the seat plus an extra long shower head extender.

wow !! that's posh what a transformation, thank you for posting them that looks like it makes life so much easier, if my parents get a walk in shower i think i will be using it ha ha

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Just wanted to add that my dad has a rare type of parkinsons. he doesn't have tremors the specialist says its a sister form of parkinson

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good news , my dad has had his medication adjusted and he seems like a new man oh I am so relieved . Also they are getting hand rails in various parts of the house, they have to try a lift type thing that gets them in and out of the bath if they can't get on with it they are going to see about a walk in shower for them

[IF]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good news , my dad has had his medication adjusted and he seems like a new man oh I am so relieved . Also they are getting hand rails in various parts of the house, they have to try a lift type thing that gets them in and out of the bath if they can't get on with it they are going to see about a walk in shower for them

Ohhhhh that is brilliant news S2S, I'm so pleased

[garlok]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi Spent2much. You have brilliant news. I am so pleased that things are beginning to move for you. The meds thing can be a real problem. All meds have the potential to give trouble hence the doctors tend to mess with them alot in these sort of cases. As I said I have a brother in law (mentally disabled from birth due to rubella infection) his diagnosis at 58 is Parkinsons, front lobal deterioration (dementia) and paranoid schizophrenia (not severe). Some of the meds required for each condition are contra indicated when taken in combination so when he "kicks off" resulting in a section 3 order it is usually something has happened with his meds and they have to try and get it all in balance again.

Hope all carries on looking up for you and your Mom and Dad.

regards
G

[fluffystuff]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Wonderful news S2M, what a relief for all concerned. X

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

it certainly is fluffystuff, I can't believe that adjusting his medication has made such a change, I could understand my dad when spoke today too, and he was walking about the house , I think the title of the thread should be changed to I think my dad is improving

[fluffystuff]

Re: I think my dad is dying

I think the title of the thread should be changed to I think my dad is improving

Yes, much more cheerful! X

[pompeyfaith]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good News S2M, however I would still push for the shower conversion as he would still need a certain amount of strength to use those bath lifts still at least things are going in the right direction.

As for us our mums dementia is getting worse and very forgetful today she told my wife off for dumping her knickers in the skip when in fact they was in the washing machine so we need to give her GP a kicking as he is not taking it seriously enough and my wife now needs support because she goes to pieces and finds it very upsetting watching her mums health decline like it is.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good News S2M, however I would still push for the shower conversion as he would still need a certain amount of strength to use those bath lifts still at least things are going in the right direction.

As for us our mums dementia is getting worse and very forgetful today she told my wife off for dumping her knickers in the skip when in fact they was in the washing machine so we need to give her GP a kicking as he is not taking it seriously enough and my wife now needs support because she goes to pieces and finds it very upsetting watching her mums health decline like it is.

aww I know its terrible but they don't mean to offend us my dad is the same, he tells me I never do anything for him and I know he doesn't mean it but it does upset you.
My husbands parents are not well either hubby's mum is 82 and has loads of health problems and his step father is nearly blind and has other health problems also, so we juggle our time between both of them but there are his two sisters who do most of the help for his parents which does ease the pressure from us.

We were supposed to be going abroad for a holiday in September but under the circumstances we have decided to have five days in a log cabin with our son and his wife and grandson, I have booked it and we are really looking forward to it, we plan to visit some castles and visit a few museums, son and his wife want to go to York dungeons so we will be watching our 18 month grandson while they go in as we don't like anything like that ha ha I am a scare cat lol,