Everything getting on top of me.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

It's in YO11.

I can't sell to them because neither can afford to buy. Sister wont get a mortgage for my half, and dad's already got a mortgage on his house.

Not far from my work

Id be saying something like

"Well no offence: if you can't afford to buy stump up or shut up!! It's MINE and I AM selling and if you want to split the family as a result then so be it, but I'll not back down so I strongly suggest you drop it as you will also be liable for ALL my legal costs. "

That should tell em!!

However it may also piss em off!! But it is your decision; nothing to do with your dad, harsh as that sounds!

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Oooh you've got me all intrigued about where you work now! I think YO11 covers the whole of Scarborough though so it's not that specific.

I know it's nothing to do with dad, but with him backing up sister it's hard to argue against the two of them.

I'll wait and see if I get any response to my email, then if not when I can afford it (in the next couple of weeks) I'll have to get legal advice.

I'm really glad I wrote the email, it gave me chance to get my side across without being interrupted or having them go in a huff to guilt me into shutting up. I just hope I'm as strong if/when they phone.

I'm just reminding myself that sister already owes me a couple of thousand, which I'll never see again, she took mum's car and wont give me any of the value of that, and expects me to give up on 7k in benefits and use the 6k insurance to live off, just so that she can make an extra 5k on the house value.

[Tuttsi]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, stress can bring on Diabetes so try not to get so stressed. My o/h has Diabetes and any stress throws his blood sugars sky high.

Maybe now you have the information on the CGT when you tell your sister maybe she will be more reasonable about marketing the house. But you still have to wait for probate and that might take a good few months and then you do have the winter months. Anyway no harm in getting the house valued by a couple of different estate agent now in any event and then you can discuss this calmly with your sister when you have all the facts.

You take care now and hugs from me too xx

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Thanks Milly.

My tablets can cause diabetes, as can my immune problem - for which I have regular blood transfusions which are packed with glucose. There's also a very strong family history of it. So I've been expecting to get it, I just thought I'd be older than 30.

'Calmly discuss' and 'sister' don't really go in the same sentence, unless the discussion's going her way.

Anyway, it's in their court now. All I can do is wait for them to reply.

[jen_br]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, some people list a solicitor in their will as well did your mom?

[charitynjw]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Hi Ames,

Condolences on your loss.

Reading through the thread, it would appear that your mum chose you as executor. (I'm guessing, as in post #1 you say you put in the probate forms)

Not your sister, not your dad, you!

As they say, Mum knows best!

As posted above, best get some proper legal assistance, & see if your relatives try to bully them!

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, some people list a solicitor in their will as well did your mom?

There wasn't a will, if there was it'd all be so much easier.

Hi Ames,

Condolences on your loss.

Reading through the thread, it would appear that your mum chose you as executor. (I'm guessing, as in post #1 you say you put in the probate forms)

Not your sister, not your dad, you!

As they say, Mum knows best!

As posted above, best get some proper legal assistance, & see if your relatives try to bully them!

Mum didn't choose me as executor, it fell to me because I live in the North (sister lives down south) and as I don't work I had enough time. I'm also better at paperwork than sister is.

Just to clear up, mum and dad divorced over a decade ago, he has nothing to do with any of this legally.

It is looking like legal advice is going to be needed, I still haven't heard from either of them. I have to say that I'm upset by that - surely most people if getting an email like that from their daughter/sister would want to sort things out. I made it clear that their actions are upsetting and hurting me, how can they just ignore that.

I'm really starting to think that the house and money means more to them than I do.

Anyway, I'm going to curl up in bed with a book, I've got a lot of appointments tomorrow.

[jen_br]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

eek no will... well your dad needs to get his fingers out of the pie

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

jen is right. Legal representation is probably now a must. You all risk losing it all. You cannot be an executor if there is no will to execute. Your mother has not made known her wishes. You may apply for and obtain what used to be known as "Letters of Administration" to deal with your mother's affairs. However as you claim there will be a dispute with other family members you may lose the lot and it will all end up in Chancery (i,.e the Treasury will seize your mother's estate). It will then cost you all a fortune in legal fees to benefit from it.

You state your mother and father divorced a long time ago. You will need details of the whole divorce settlement, particualrly dealing with finances and property and you will need to conduct a full Land registry search to establish the EXACT ownership of the property. You may find you are dealing with "A Tenancy in Common" Trust put in place by clever lawyers during the settlement which if drawn up properly will be transferred to any subsequent property your mother or father purchased at a later date. If there is no problem with the divorce settlement then tell your father to poke off and keep his nose out, he has no legal standing whatsoever and DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR MOTHERS AFFAIRS ANY FURTHER WITH HIM. And yes I am having to deal with a properly engrossed will in similar circumstances due to a second marriage in which adult children are involved.

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

jen is right. Legal representation is probably now a must. You all risk losing it all. You cannot be an executor if there is no will to execute. Your mother has not made known her wishes. You may apply for and obtain what used to be known as "Letters of Administration" to deal with your mother's affairs. However as you claim there will be a dispute with other family members Sorry if I wasn't clear, there'll be no dispute, it's just between me and sister. you may lose the lot and it will all end up in Chancery (i,.e the Treasury will seize your mother's estate). It will then cost you all a fortune in legal fees to benefit from it.

You state your mother and father divorced a long time ago. You will need details of the whole divorce settlement, particualrly dealing with finances and property and you will need to conduct a full Land registry search to establish the EXACT ownership of the property. You may find you are dealing with "A Tenancy in Common" Trust put in place by clever lawyers during the settlement which if drawn up properly will be transferred to any subsequent property your mother or father purchased at a later date. If there is no problem with the divorce settlement then tell your father to poke off and keep his nose out, he has no legal standing whatsoever and DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR MOTHERS AFFAIRS ANY FURTHER WITH HIM. Dad himself is convinced he has no legal right, but I've no chance of seeing the divorce settlement - it was like pulling teeth to get him to let me have the divorce certificate for the probate people And yes I am having to deal with a properly engrossed will in similar circumstances due to a second marriage in which adult children are involved.

Everything's just got a little bit worse.

I've had a text from sister saying I 'didn't listen to what she was saying' so she's 'not going to dignify my email with a reply'.

DIAL have just rung and said there's no way the DWP will let me use my inheritance to buy a house, I'll just have to live off it for a few years till it's gone and then go back on benefits.

[confused76]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Everything's just got a little bit worse.

I've had a text from sister saying I 'didn't listen to what she was saying' so she's 'not going to dignify my email with a reply'.

DIAL have just rung and said there's no way the DWP will let me use my inheritance to buy a house, I'll just have to live off it for a few years till it's gone and then go back on benefits.

oh dear Ames i think you need to take some legal advice...do you qualify for free advice being on benefits? that's a real shame about not being able to buy a house...
x

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

I qualify for free benefits advice, but only for legal aid, which doesn't cover benefits or financial stuff.

I'm gutted about the house. Where I am now doesn't meet my needs - there's damp, no central heating, the kitchen's too small for a perching stool so I can't really use it, I could do wiht a second bedroom so when I'm bad someone can stay to look after me. It's also a long walk to the car, which I can't manage most days so I'm stuck in when I don't have to be (which is bad for my mental illness).

If mum had got round to making a will and put it in trust for me like she'd planned, it wouldn't be a problem.

At least I've got an appointment with my GP this afternoon, I think I need to up my meds, and hopefully she can clear up the diabetes thing.

Maybe I should run a book on what's going to go wrong in my life next... it'd pay the legal fees!

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, you MUST get a grip of this. Clearly you and your sister cannot agree on the dispoal of your mother's estate, that by definition is a dispute in legal terms.

Most reputable solicitors will give you a 30 minute consultation free of charge and the Law Society will help you find someone. We have had a recent case on here where they have helped enormously. Now, Chancery is a serious matter and a very real issue! If this continues with your family, NONE of you may benefit form the estate at all and you will be left with payment of all costs.

Legal representation means that you will have the services of an "officer of the court" by definition and your father will have no chance to evade giving them the information they need to deal with your mother's affairs. His lack of co-operation may lead to a contempt of court issue in which case he will be forced to either to serve a custodial sentence, pay a hefty fine and still have to give the information requested. It really can get very messy.

I think both you and your sister have to come to some sensible agreement with legal advice, the courts do not like the "vulture" syndrome being brought before them at the moment and it would seem neither of you can afford to allow your mothers estate to be seized by the government and then pay the legal costs of getting it back.

Sorry to be so sharp but you need to understand and/or get help.

Garlok

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Oh and by the way you are going to need a solicitor to sell your mother's house anyway to deal with the conveyancing alone let alone the estate issues.

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

DIAL gave me the name of a solicitor that's good with financial stuff, they refer clients to them a lot apparantly. I'll make an appointment with them.

Dad and sister say we don't need a solicitor to deal with the house sale because we're selling to dad so it'll be a private sale.

God this sounds more and more dodgy the more I think about it. Neither of them are prepared to listen to arguments about the law and things though, they're just pushing ahead with their plans totally naively.