Everything getting on top of me.

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames-- You do not need a major law firm like IM to do this work for you. By the way they take debtors to court and operate to the very worst standards exhibited by the debt collection movement IMO. Just look around the net.

Talk to the Law Society for one, they will help you. The average High Street solicitor will have the same clout, know a lot more about conveyancing and family law (which is what this is about) than the bimbo telephone answering service that the likes of IM use. AND will cost you and awful lot less. When choosing a law firm the really good ones have no need to use heavy marketing techniques, are usually very conservative (note small c) in their apporach and have their clients' best interests closer to their hearts than big unwieldy corporate lawyers and NO conflicts of interest.

Garlok

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Wise wise words - I personally hate IM - as you say they use unqualified personnel who really have no idea and follow scripts given, as and when the solicitor instructs....

Well, thats how is appeared to me.

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Thanks everyone, I was a bit wary when I saw the website and it all being about accident claims and such. Then having to ring a national number, and everything being done on the phone (I hate using the phone, and have got conned over it before - 'hi, we're from a charity, can we have your bank details please?' 'yes sure, here they are'.

I'll try again tomorrow to find someone better. I'm assuming I can have the free half hour with multiple firms until I find one I'm happy with?

In the meantime, I've just found out I have diabetes. Handing over such a stressful problem to someone else who can act in my interest is pretty much vital now I think. Especially since my GP is referring me to the crisis team and psychiatrist because of the effect it's all had on my mental health.

I wonder which part of my body's going to pack in next... so far it's brain, immune system and now pancreas.

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Of course Ames, it is up to the individual solicitor, so you can try one or two out and see how you feel about them. Don't be surprised if they don't tell you everything you want to hear. They have more ways of skinning the cat than you or I normally think of. But your local guy is usually pretty good for this sort of stuff, that is their bread and butter living after all.

Garlok

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

I'll try again tomorrow to find someone better. I'm assuming I can have the free half hour with multiple firms until I find one I'm happy with?

That was the initial idea behind the scheme.

In the meantime, I've just found out I have diabetes.

Which type - insulin dependent (type 1) or insulin independent (type 2)?

I wonder which part of my body's going to pack in next... so far it's brain, immune system and now pancreas.

At a guess, it'll probably be parts of your peripheral nervous system.

Would you like to see a picture of my diabetic toe?

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

My GP's pretty sure it's type II, I'm too old (30) for type 1. I've gone from normal 7 months ago to full blown diabetes now, so they've caught it really early, and my GP thinks I should be able to control it by diet alone, metformin at the most. So I'm looking at it as a wakeup call rather than a major disaster - it hasn't had chance to do any damage, and now I'm aware of it hopefully it wont. Dad was really far along when he was diagnosed and has to have insulin, so I'm grateful for the early dx.

Actually, a bit of googling showed that my IVIG (blood transfusion) therapy is good for diabetic neuropathy, so hopefully it wont be my feet. I'll pass on the picture though thanks!

The crisis team have just left. They're going to refer me to a CPN (I'm adamant I need one now, otherwise I'll go manic or depressed and not look after myself and take care of the diabetes). They're going to back up my GP referral to the psychiatrist, and I should hear within a few days about that. And they're referring me for psychotherapy - there'll be a long waiting list, but I'd rather wait and get proper help than go straight for short counselling sessions which just patch me up till next time.

So overall I'm getting a lot of positives out of today.

[charitynjw]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Nice one, Ames!,

As for the 'will' problem, has anyone heard of

http://www.finalduties.co.uk/ ?

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Nice one, Ames!,

As for the 'will' problem, has anyone heard of

http://www.finalduties.co.uk/ ?

I hadn't but, when my late father died eight years ago, those hearse-chasers weren't even a twinkle in a salesman's eye.

I did all the work myself and, from what I can recall of the process, I'd not have said it was worth even £200, let alone ten times that.

[charitynjw]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

I hadn't but, when my late father died eight years ago, those hearse-chasers weren't even a twinkle in a salesman's eye.

I did all the work myself and, from what I can recall of the process, I'd not have said it was worth even £200, let alone ten times that.

So that's a maybe, then?

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Well, the MH crisis team came out last night, my GP had contacted them. After being assessed for an hour they said they were going to refer me to see a CPN (Community Psych Nurse) within three days, and for psychotherapy. I really think I need long term help in making sure I stay on top of the diabetes, and don't go manic or depressed and stop caring.

So I called my dad who was really supportive. Sister was there, and she was slightly less supportive. She kept going on about how we need to get together and talk about all the house stuff, and giving the times she's up from London. I kept trying to tell her that I'll be having so many medical appointments over the next few weeks that I just can't commit to a time. Not good enough for her. In the end I snapped and told her that the psych team had just been out, and that I needed to get things sorted with that. She couldn't understand why the psych team had been involved, why I'd got upset in the GP's yesterday, and why it was a big deal, since I 'knew I'd had the tests' so it couldn't have been that big a shock.

I could hear dad in the background telling her to calm down, which was amazing, since he's nearly always on his side. He knows what I'm going through though, since he has diabetes.

He's also said that he'll take on as much as he can with the house - clearing it, getting estate agents in and stuff. And that it'll all be done with my benefits situation in mind.

Even sister said a family friend had suggested that she could take on more of a role in it all and she agreed.

So I'm feeling better about that. Dad wants us all to sit down and discuss everything in a few weeks when we can all make it, which I'm more than happy to do.

So, this morning I've called immunology to let them know, as it'll affect my treatment.

The CPN has called, I've got an assessment a week on monday, although she seems keen on increasing my support worker contact, which isn't what I want - I think I need medical supervision. I'll just have to see how that goes.

IM called me back, and I was quite pleasantly surprised (I was expecting the worst though). She said that as I'm the one who's going to be administer, I can sell the house without sister's permission (mwahahahah), but if it goes up in value between me selling it and April, when sister wants to sell it, she could have a claim against me for that. She suggested that I could hand over administration duties to their probate team, but there wasn't a hard sell. I've agreed to speak to their probate and wills team, partly to see how much it'd cost to get them to administer everything, but also to see what they suggest about my half of the money, trusts and things, since I don't trust myself to be responsible for so much money given my MI.

I probably wont go with them, but I might as well pump them for free info.

So, that's where things are at today. I'm feeling a lot calmer and more positive.

Thanks so much for all the support x

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Right Ames,

Thanks for keeping us up to date. My advice would be do not instruct IM in these matters. I would very quickly get a decent local solicitor instruct to act on your behalf and I mean QUICKLY!!!! You need someone who is au fait with Family Law which encompasses end of life, bereavement, probate etc.

None of you can actually do ANYTHING AT ALL until Letters of Administration have been granted to you or whoever. It is an offence for anything to be removed or disposed of from your mother's house. REALLY!!

You are now entering a phase with your mental health issues which could render you under the law (your sister seems to be volatile enough to do it) incapable. As long as you have legal reps in place prior to any further progress with your Psych issues then you will be OK and that may mean LPAs as well for you. Nothing to be afraid of but YOUR interests will then be looked after not those of your sister or father.

The diabetes issues can be looked after without much interruption to your life. I have a friend now in his sixties who has been injecting insulin daily since he was 5 years of age. He's OK and gets about better then me. Plus in our family we have a close relative diagnosed in his sixties with age onset D. Does fine with a tablet or two per day and more or less does as he pleases now it has stabilised. (even drinks red wine!).

Get rid of the stress and offload it all onto a professional who does this for living.

regards
Garlok

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Right Ames,

Thanks for keeping us up to date. My advice would be do not instruct IM in these matters. I would very quickly get a decent local solicitor instruct to act on your behalf and I mean QUICKLY!!!! You need someone who is au fait with Family Law which encompasses end of life, bereavement, probate etc. Thanks, I think I'm going to do that. Dad thinks it's a waste of money, but I don't think he realises how bad sister's being. He sounded shocked last night when she was laying into me on the phone. I'll look into it on Monday, I've got lots of medical phonecalls coming in today.

None of you can actually do ANYTHING AT ALL until Letters of Administration have been granted to you or whoever. It is an offence for anything to be removed or disposed of from your mother's house. REALLY!! I know, but however many times I say it, in however many ways, all I get from dad and sister is 'it needs doing, you can't leave it forever and a day'.

You are now entering a phase with your mental health issues which could render you under the law (your sister seems to be volatile enough to do it) incapable. I totally agree. I've been regretting being the one to put the probate forms in, because it means I have to be the one to see it through. As for sister, as I was saying to my meical people yesterday, this is just her MO. Firstly she argues and tells me I'm wrong. Then she says I misunderstood her and she was actually being all sweetness and light. Then she blames everything on my mental illness. So it is a big worry for me. As long as you have legal reps in place prior to any further progress with your Psych issues then you will be OK and that may mean LPAs as well for you. Nothing to be afraid of but YOUR interests will then be looked after not those of your sister or father. I'm not sure about LPA, I don't want to have someone else in control of my day to day spending, I'm managing fine with that, it's just the big stuff I'm struggling with. On the other hand, it would also take away the stress of the benefits situation, as they'd be in control. I'd just be worried that solicitors don't usually understand benefits and might not make the right decisions about my inheritance.

The diabetes issues can be looked after without much interruption to your life. I have a friend now in his sixties who has been injecting insulin daily since he was 5 years of age. He's OK and gets about better then me. Plus in our family we have a close relative diagnosed in his sixties with age onset D. Does fine with a tablet or two per day and more or less does as he pleases now it has stabilised. (even drinks red wine!).

Get rid of the stress and offload it all onto a professional who does this for living. I think that's going to have to be my strategy.

regards
Garlok

Can anyone give me a ballpark figure for how much I'd have to pay a professional? I'm happy to pay, money is far less important than my health, I just need to be able to budget for it.

I've also made the decision to use my inheritance to buy a house. If I have to cut back and budget tightly for six years then so be it, now that I'm at risk of circulatory problems I can't carry on living in a house with no heating. I'll have to muddle through next winter because of the timescales.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

IM called me back, and I was quite pleasantly surprised (I was expecting the worst though). She said that as I'm the one who's going to be administer, I can sell the house without sister's permission (mwahahahah), but if it goes up in value between me selling it and April, when sister wants to sell it, she could have a claim against me for that.

I believe the legal term for that assertion is/was stercus bovi.

She suggested that I could hand over administration duties to their probate team, but there wasn't a hard sell.

Well, as long as you don't include the fatuous assertion that you could be liable merely for having performed your duty as an executor in a timely manner.

I've agreed to speak to their probate and wills team, partly to see how much it'd cost to get them to administer everything, but also to see what they suggest about my half of the money, trusts and things, since I don't trust myself to be responsible for so much money given my MI.

I probably wont go with them, but I might as well pump them for free info.

I'd not trust them even as much as I'd trust the mind-bending, money-grabbing cult of $cientology.

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

The point about sister having a claim against me was that she could accuse me of not acting in the best interest of the estate and beneficiaries.

I totally agree with you though!

Just heard from DIAL again, he says I need to get to grips with the legal stuff and then we'll get together. I've told him that I have to buy a house because of my health problems, and he said he'd support me with appealing a deprivation of capital accusation.

Now I'm going back to bed - I didn't get to sleep while gone 6, and was woken by the CPN at ten. I'm still waiting for two or three calls though, what's the betting they come in just as I'm nodding off...

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

The point about sister having a claim against me was that she could accuse me of not acting in the best interest of the estate and beneficiaries.

Whether one calls such an assertion stercus bovi or more bluntly "bullshit", the fact remains that it is utter nonsense. One cannot predict with even moderate certainty how a market will behave seven months hence, as there may be an interest rate hike before then or there may be changes made to stamp duty. The selling price of the house could be lower in April 2012, even if it was "fresh to the market".

Anyway, hadn't your sister cooked up a somewhat Balwickian cunning plan whereby Daddy dearest would buy the house?