Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, Handy here.

Well I'm sat on my rubber ring this afternoon Don't laugh my Valentines present was a biopsy on my prostrate. No I'm not making it up. It will be a week or two before I get the results, but I'm not worrying (Yet).

I won't give a graphic account but it hurt. When the doctor was injecting a local anaesthetic in the place where the sun don't shine, I told him "It hurts, just like the dentist, but at the other end."

He replied "well if it feels like this at the dentist's he's doing looking at the wrong end."

Then when I got home I had a letter from my GP, it seems the Ultrasound I had last week, proves the Alcohol hasn't damaged my liver or kidneys (apparently they are well preserved) but It did find I have Gall Stones.

No come on what's happening, Handy is in his prime and not ready to fall apart yet!

All I need to put the icing on the cake is to have a tooth out.


Some one dust me off a Parker Knowle in the Old Guys and Geezers Rest home.

Regards all, Handy

[philnicandamy]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

after going through the same procedure handy..I feel your pain!

fingers and everything else crossed the results are fine

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

after going through the same procedure handy..I feel your pain!

fingers and everything else crossed the results are fine

I know I probably sound like Cissie and Ada



But ouch it did hurt. I have often joked about Having my piles fixed without anaesthetic but not any more

I'm confident that things will be ok.

Lady Hooray asked if It was anything I would wish on my worse enemy. I replied no, them after a moment I said "maybe".

Well I have met a few Hooray's that ......... best not to go there.

Regards, Handy

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Awww bless you Handy, big hugs from me

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Good Evening all, Handy is glad to report that he is feeling a whole lot better this evening.

I'm just about back to normal you could say, apart from I have to leave the Scrumpy (Whiskey, Gin, Rum and the Red Wine) alone for a couple of day's while the antibiotics do their job.

Lady Hooray is getting back to normal as well. After a couple of months of Joy and Harmony she's starting to get snappy again.

Mind you I I had just received an electric bill for £600 for one month I would be tearing my hair out as well. I have tried to explain that 6 refrigerators, 4 televisions, 3 washing machines, 3 dishwashers and a house lit by 100 watt bulbs will take a few megawatts to run (even if it is just for one person).

Her Daughter is still doing her best to avoid going for Chemotherapy and that is giving her grief.

So far this week the only thing I have done to keep on her good side is dispatch a couple of Rats with a lead enema. They have taken up residence under the terriers kennel which is only 10 feet away from the Hall door. (wild life lovers please accept my apologies, but the wild brown farm rat is a different proposition from the white domestic). In fact we now know how one of the terriers got what suspiciously looked like Weil's disease.

Years ago a Caving mate of mine almost died from Wiel's which we think he got while crawling under a road culvert.

At one of the caves we used to visit we would get in the roadside stream and crawl the hundred or so feet under the road and emerge with our caving gear washed squeaky clean. We think he must have put his hand in some Rat Urine. A few days later and it was Pneumonia like symptoms followed by Kidney failure.

Luckily it was caught in time, but it was a long while before Kev went caving again.

Anyway time for bed said Florence (Oh the day's of the Magic Roundabout, I always preferred the Bong said Zebedee ).

Regards all, Handy

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Good to see you're feeling a whole lot better Handy

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Glad to see your up and running again Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I am up and running (Just). I have been feeling crook all day, lack of sleep and a water infection, or was it because I have been off the Scrump for a few day's

At least the boss has been nice about it and let me choose my own pottering jobs today.

Don't worry I will be back to normal soon. I have even got my Chinese Iphone to work properly so I can use it to get AAD an FB when I'm hiding in my shed

Warning don't buy a cheap Iphone copy they look good but take for ever to set up, it's probably easier to programme in Linux. It's only taken 2 years to get google to work in English. I had to keep calling in at my local take away to get them to translate

Regards for now, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

OK I haven't posted anything for a few days now. I really don't know what's up with me. I think it may just be the time of year, the weather doesn't make me feel like doing much more than hibernating after the log burners is lit of an evening.

Each afternoon I plan what I'm going to post and then the magnets in the sofa seem to keep me glued in place until 10pm when its time to give the dogs their last walk of the day.

Even the fire seems to have gone out of Lady Hooray at the moment, even though there was a minor explosion this afternoon. She had been pulled for doing 40 in a 30 zone. Well at least the last 3 points are just about to come off.

Well she does drive rather fast for a 70 year old. I wouldn't keep her 260 bhp car in sports mode round town, but she say's if sports mode isn't on it's sluggish. No wonder her friends like me to do the driving if they are going anywhere.

I can drive as fast as anyone else when on the track, but on the road why risk it, I would rather be 20 minutes late in this life, than 20 years early in the next.

Regards all, Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Morning handy...

Sorry to hear about your scrotum.....Is it recovered yet? Where exactly was it? Or was it your testes? I have like no idea where the prostate is...do you have big ball syndrome? Can you still pee? If you can't pee you need two bricks and it's sorted...or a terrier....

Me? I have mastitis (prodding and poking of my own) . I had torpedo killer antibiotics to take for a week (only I bodged the taking of them for about 3 days) and I still have green and yella stuff coming out of my bewb.....Fancy some of that in your scrumpy? Sure cloggsie would...

and now a stomach bug...

I think you should be up and doing 3 laps of the grounds then making Lady breakfast

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, Hi SC. Sorry to hear about your problems, I hope the antibiotics are starting to kick in it sounds nasty.
Now not to put too fine a point on it and seeing as you are unsure about what the part the prostrate plays in the male anatomy, it can play hell up with the water works and stop the old marital tackle from working correctly. It becomes a worry when things start to work backwards. Enough if I was to fully describe what was / is happening I would get banned from AAD. Needless to say Prostrate cancer is in the top five of killers of men over 50.

Most Blokes myself included would rather pretend there wasn't a problem. But to go forward, I was supposed to go to the Hospital tomorrow to get the results of the biopsy. This afternoon I got a call cancelling the appointment as there was no need to attend as the results show me to be fine and cancer free.

Now I was never really worried as there are worse things in life than dying, but I have been spending some of the wee small hours worrying about how I can minimise the shit I would leave behind.

I always thought some arsehole would get me in the end but I never thought for a moment it would be my own

So now I have to wait for a couple of months for a follow up from the consultant Relieved though I am I would like to know what caused the problem in the first place?

Until they ran tests I didn't know I had Gallstones, my GP tells me they won't treat them as they are not causing me too many problems as it will require an op. What he really means is until I am crippled with pain they wont treat me as this will cost the NHS money. At least I know now that the pains in my chest and side are not the warning signs of a cardiac condition.

At least I can continue trying to wear out before I pass out

Regards to all, a much relieved Handy

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

This afternoon I got a call cancelling the appointment as there was no need to attend as the results show me to be fine and cancer free.

I'm so pleased your OK and I bet you are relieved

I always thought some arsehole would get me in the end but I never thought for a moment it would be my own

See you always make me laugh, even after all your going through

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Gallows humour I'm afraid If. It is a legacy of my time in the Reserves, Mountain and Cave Rescue and in general all the strange things that have happened to me. Some people think it callous but ask any fireman or paramedic how they put it behind them and they will tell you it's humour (normally black).

Besides you have to look on the bright side (I should link to Monty Python )

I also know what it's like to lose my sense of Humour (I have been in that black hole of depression) I was lucky I had a few proactive mates who did more for me in a few weeks than an army of NHS mental health specialists. OK who said there's no change there then

I don't need a Shrink to tell me I'm as nutty as a fruitcake, I prefer the handle Eccentric

Still now I can plan what's going to happen in the next few weeks (I Hope).

I'm finding it hard to cope with getting older, my mind tells me I'm still 30, but when I'm putting my boots on my back tells me my age.

Like Billy Connolly said when your 50, the best advice he was given was have a pee when ever you get the chance, even though you don't need one. Never trust a Fart
And if you get an erection use it, even if your on your own

I'm even starting to think I may yet manage to grow old disgracefully. Well luckily I'm officially too old to die young

Regards, Handy

BTW enough of maudlin tomorrow back to life in the fast lane (at least as fast as it gets in Scrumpy land)

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2



I have a referral to the clinic at the hospital...Apparently no one wants my green cupcake and I'm too young to remember Kenny Everett

So slept for the first time this week last night (the crisis line say I'm relapsing - I don't think so...Night staff @ the hospital like Nietzche - nuff said. That's reason enough to avoid them at all costs)

And now I am constantly sweating. No amount of deodorant fixes it....constantly...

SC

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Now not to put too fine a point on it and seeing as you are unsure about what the part the prostate plays in the male anatomy, it can play hell up with the water works and stop the old marital tackle from working correctly. It becomes a worry when things start to work backwards. Enough if I was to fully describe what was / is happening I would get banned from AAD.

Might that involve discussion about whether you're coming or going?