Everything getting on top of me.

[jen_br]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

eek no will... well your dad needs to get his fingers out of the pie

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, some people list a solicitor in their will as well did your mom?

There wasn't a will, if there was it'd all be so much easier.

Hi Ames,

Condolences on your loss.

Reading through the thread, it would appear that your mum chose you as executor. (I'm guessing, as in post #1 you say you put in the probate forms)

Not your sister, not your dad, you!

As they say, Mum knows best!

As posted above, best get some proper legal assistance, & see if your relatives try to bully them!

Mum didn't choose me as executor, it fell to me because I live in the North (sister lives down south) and as I don't work I had enough time. I'm also better at paperwork than sister is.

Just to clear up, mum and dad divorced over a decade ago, he has nothing to do with any of this legally.

It is looking like legal advice is going to be needed, I still haven't heard from either of them. I have to say that I'm upset by that - surely most people if getting an email like that from their daughter/sister would want to sort things out. I made it clear that their actions are upsetting and hurting me, how can they just ignore that.

I'm really starting to think that the house and money means more to them than I do.

Anyway, I'm going to curl up in bed with a book, I've got a lot of appointments tomorrow.

[charitynjw]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Hi Ames,

Condolences on your loss.

Reading through the thread, it would appear that your mum chose you as executor. (I'm guessing, as in post #1 you say you put in the probate forms)

Not your sister, not your dad, you!

As they say, Mum knows best!

As posted above, best get some proper legal assistance, & see if your relatives try to bully them!

[jen_br]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, some people list a solicitor in their will as well did your mom?

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Thanks Milly.

My tablets can cause diabetes, as can my immune problem - for which I have regular blood transfusions which are packed with glucose. There's also a very strong family history of it. So I've been expecting to get it, I just thought I'd be older than 30.

'Calmly discuss' and 'sister' don't really go in the same sentence, unless the discussion's going her way.

Anyway, it's in their court now. All I can do is wait for them to reply.

[Tuttsi]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, stress can bring on Diabetes so try not to get so stressed. My o/h has Diabetes and any stress throws his blood sugars sky high.

Maybe now you have the information on the CGT when you tell your sister maybe she will be more reasonable about marketing the house. But you still have to wait for probate and that might take a good few months and then you do have the winter months. Anyway no harm in getting the house valued by a couple of different estate agent now in any event and then you can discuss this calmly with your sister when you have all the facts.

You take care now and hugs from me too xx

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Oooh you've got me all intrigued about where you work now! I think YO11 covers the whole of Scarborough though so it's not that specific.

I know it's nothing to do with dad, but with him backing up sister it's hard to argue against the two of them.

I'll wait and see if I get any response to my email, then if not when I can afford it (in the next couple of weeks) I'll have to get legal advice.

I'm really glad I wrote the email, it gave me chance to get my side across without being interrupted or having them go in a huff to guilt me into shutting up. I just hope I'm as strong if/when they phone.

I'm just reminding myself that sister already owes me a couple of thousand, which I'll never see again, she took mum's car and wont give me any of the value of that, and expects me to give up on 7k in benefits and use the 6k insurance to live off, just so that she can make an extra 5k on the house value.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

It's in YO11.

I can't sell to them because neither can afford to buy. Sister wont get a mortgage for my half, and dad's already got a mortgage on his house.

Not far from my work

Id be saying something like

"Well no offence: if you can't afford to buy stump up or shut up!! It's MINE and I AM selling and if you want to split the family as a result then so be it, but I'll not back down so I strongly suggest you drop it as you will also be liable for ALL my legal costs. "

That should tell em!!

However it may also piss em off!! But it is your decision; nothing to do with your dad, harsh as that sounds!

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

It's in YO11.

I can't sell to them because neither can afford to buy. Sister wont get a mortgage for my half, and dad's already got a mortgage on his house.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

why don't you just sell your half to them; and thus walk away now before things turn?

You're right, seeking legal advice is touchy but unfortunately what's needed right now to tow them into line. It's not upto them to bully you!!

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Ames, what area is the house in question in?

I know the postal areas so just give the numbers after the beginning two letters if it's not too personal. It may help

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Honestly sometimes doing a house up makes little or no difference - as long it is clean and empty it will sell - honestly you would just have to see some of the places we sell... Most people when they move in, even if they move into a palace will still change things. I've been trying to tell them that but they just don't believe me.

It will probably be good for a young couple first time buyers or even a devloper. Yup. But they don't believe me.

Also a point to note is always get 3 estate agents round and take the middle figure as correct (it is also an idea to use more of an idepentant one with more local knowledge rathter than a ahem chain....) We got two, a chain who said it'll never sell unless for bottom price, and a local one who said it'll sell no problem for more than the chain said, and even more if it's done up.

Also always have a bit of a haggle over commission - they will want your business! Thanks for that, it wouldn't have occurred to me.

Also is there any outstanding mortgage on the house? as obv that will have to be paid if you hang on to it? Yup, there's a mortgage, I think the idea is that we'll pay it until sis is ready to sell. By 'we' I think she means me.

I would def not waste time or money doing it up - just get it nice and clean, the garden looking nice and it will be snapped up

xxxxxxxxxxxx

There's a further complication in that she wants to sell to dad without involving any estate agents. To do that, dad needs to sell his house - but he hasn't even had it valued. It was dad's idea, and he's been pushing it ever since mum was diagnosed. But there's huge practical issues that they haven't considered.

Then there's the benefits thing - I need to prove that I'm trying to sell it and it's all above board. Dad and sister doing it up for him to buy without anything to show he's actually going to buy it, is going to look very dodgy and not help my cause.

It's all just a huge mess, and I'm really starting to think that I'm going to have to get a solicitor to deal with them on my behalf. I really don't want to do that as they're the only family I've got and I don't really have any RL friends and so risking losing them is the last thing I want to do.

The phone rang earlier, two rings then stopped before I got to it, it was dad, so I'm assuming he's read the email. I'm really nervous about having to talk to them about it now, they'll just try to push me into what they want. The fact that he hung up before I had chance to answer makes me think he's angry about it, he's probably talking to sister about me.

I really fancy takeaway now, a treat after a hard couple of days, but I daren't do that because of the diabetes thing.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Big hugs from me too Ames

And from me.

[IF]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Big hugs from me too Ames

[LooLoo]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Honestly sometimes doing a house up makes little or no difference - as long it is clean and empty it will sell - honestly you would just have to see some of the places we sell... Most people when they move in, even if they move into a palace will still change things.

It will probably be good for a young couple first time buyers or even a devloper.

Also a point to note is always get 3 estate agents round and take the middle figure as correct (it is also an idea to use more of an idepentant one with more local knowledge rathter than a ahem chain....)

Also always have a bit of a haggle over commission - they will want your business!

Also is there any outstanding mortgage on the house? as obv that will have to be paid if you hang on to it?

I would def not waste time or money doing it up - just get it nice and clean, the garden looking nice and it will be snapped up

xxxxxxxxxxxx