How many texts are too many?

[Pixie]

Re: How many texts are too many?

We girls fall for charm and romance every time

I agree...ask Alland

Yeah but i'd be going for custody. Plus I have family with ability to support both of us where as her family are mainly benefit claimants.

I'm not sure that this would make any difference to be honest. With a child so young, a court would need a very good reason not to let the mother have custody.

It's definitely one of those situations where I'm gonna have to have a chat with dearest mother of mine.

That's a good idea. Your Mum knows you both and will have a good idea what's best for all of you.

well from what you're saying mate maybe it's time to kick her out and move on, without the stress of wondering if you're Mrs is shagging the fit neighbour, or mate whatever.

Not meaning to sound harsh but you are saying she has history with the same guy she's now texting so it must mean one thing, there is no middle or 3rd point - there simply can't be can there?

Either live with it and get yourself a wee slapper to play with to get even, or kick her out - your child really doesn't come into things at this stage (with the greatest of respect) - you come first then you do what is right for the child. I mean, it's pointless staying unhappy for a child - no. That is nonsense and no medical or child professional will suggest doing that, only the insane suggest staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids (what this really means is they want their cake and eat it).

Anyway, best of luck. I was hoping it'd be all innocent but this can't be - it's just not possible is it?

Wife for sale, £9.99 on eBay tomorrow....

I have to agree with Niddy...there's no point in staying in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of the child(ren)...it does more harm than good.

I think that you've already made your mind up...she's done it before (and with the same guy )...if she promises to put a stop to it this time, who knows when the next time will be?

You can be a brilliant Dad to your son, even if you don't live with him, so long as you and your girlfriend work together in his best interests. My ex-husband is a brilliant Dad to our kids...and to the 2 I had later, even though they're not his. They've all grown up to be well-adjusted adults.

A fresh start might be what you need x

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

All I can add to that is you should both read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus also available on eBay tomorrow for £11.70

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/000717613...&hvptwo=&hvqmt=

????

You should never ever stay together for the sake of kids, kids see the hatred brewing between parents and those that say otherwise are kidding themselves.

Of course when you're arguing a kid see's it and thinks it is acceptable if it is over a prolonged period. If the relationship is over the BEST thing for the kids (and for you both) is to amicably walk away and give the kids their two parents, just separately.

millions of us have been through it, we're not all bad

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Indeed, and I have been through it too. But my daughter never sees her father despite my best efforts to keep them together over the years

I totally agree that if the relationship is genuinely over sometimes sadly parting is the only thing, but I'm in favour of putting up one hell of a fight to repair the damage to a relationship before I would throw in the towel. But that's just my handsight and old age talking.

[Pixie]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Indeed, and I have been through it too. But my daughter never sees her father despite my best efforts to keep them together over the years

I totally agree that if the relationship is genuinely over sometimes sadly parting is the only thing, but I'm in favour of putting up one hell of a fight to repair the damage to a relationship before I would throw in the towel. But that's just my handsight and old age talking.

I tried to keep contact between my youngest 2 and their Dad but he wasn't interested. Now, 20 years on, he's decided he wants to be part of their lives but now they're old enough to tell him where to go.

As kilasuit has had the same problem with his missus before, and presumably patched up their relationship, I don't think you can say he's given up without a fight.

????

You should never ever stay together for the sake of kids, kids see the hatred brewing between parents and those that say otherwise are kidding themselves.

Of course when you're arguing a kid see's it and thinks it is acceptable if it is over a prolonged period. If the relationship is over the BEST thing for the kids (and for you both) is to amicably walk away and give the kids their two parents, just separately.

millions of us have been through it, we're not all bad

Agree totally Niddy, which is why I said

You can be a brilliant Dad to your son, even if you don't live with him, so long as you and your girlfriend work together in his best interests. My ex-husband is a brilliant Dad to our kids...and to the 2 I had later, even though they're not his. They've all grown up to be well-adjusted adults.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

--> How to sell your wife on eBay - Funadvice Howtos

or

--> I SOLD MY WIFE ON EBAY!

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

On a serious note, I was trying to lighten the mood with the sell the Mrs on eBay, follow your heart mate. Your head will tell you all sorts of nonsense, but if you still love the lass then don't throw it away - maybe it can be saved eh?

If you think though, you can't put up with it anymore then try and stay calm so you can at least get regular access to your wee one.

Best wishes and best of luck

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

--> How to sell your wife on eBay - Funadvice Howtos

or

--> I SOLD MY WIFE ON EBAY!

AAD can also stand for All About Divorce. No one can ever accuse Niddy of not diversifying

[confused76]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Good luck Kilasuit, i hope you make the right choice for you.

[kilasuit]

Re: How many texts are too many?

No matter what decision i make its going to be tough either way.

Always good to know there is support around the corner even when things look rather bleak and dire.

MW3 is calling. time to relieve some anger

[nightwatch]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Hi kilasuit
so sorry for your problems. do you think that if you asked your partner about these text she may have an answer that you would belive or have you already decided on the answer as a lie? what ever the answer ,you have to make the choice, it will be hard but sometimes for the best
I speak as someone who has been there,
hubby fanced his chances with his sisters mate, texed her saying I was putting him down, did nothing, was boring,
at the time I was working 3 jobs, sorting out our debts, looking after 2 children, cleaning, cooking.
If I asked if he wanted to go out he was always tired, or there was somthing going on at work,
I suspected something was wrong when he started taking his Itemised phone bill to work,
I soon sorted that out,asked for a copy!, I knew how to get into his voicemail from a land line, and then I transfered all his calls to my phone so I knew when she phoned him,
I started acting as if I didn't give a sh1t. stopped cooking I was too busy, got dressed up at a weekend when he was off and told him he would have to watch the kids as i was going out(sat in my mates drinking Tea)worked a treat,he got worried I was leaving him and stopped calling her,
that was 15+ years ago, and I am so sorry I bothered as he is doing my chuffin head in

[jen_br]

Re: How many texts are too many?

50 texts a day doesn't mean its about sex or cheating. I text a few people at least 20-30 times a day and if we are chatting it can be much more. There is no harm there and nothing sexual.

However if you have doubts the first place you need to turn is to her. Ask her straight up before she even answers you will know your answer.

Luckily your child is young enough that it won't have too bad of an emotional effect on them.

[PriorityOne]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Sorry to read about your situation Kilasuit.... it's never easy when kids are involved.

If you haven't already discussed it with her, then it's a good idea to do that first rather then fester on it. If she has form though and has dallied with this bloke before, then you need to be prepared for hearing things you may not want to.

Best of luck... and stay strong....

[kilasuit]

Re: How many texts are too many?

I had seen some messages back feb march time and confronted her then as they all implied that something had happened

Also before that another lad in September last year too. And she's been messaging him since then even after telling me she had stopped it.

So yeah Monday I think I'm telling her I go to council for housing advice

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

I can see a new website coming up...

I have to agree with Jen on this one, texting is often just a way to pass the time, to have a *chat* or a moan about something. Most of the people I txt regularly I don't see in months!

Funny how you should mention that

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

I had seen some messages back feb march time and confronted her then as they all implied that something had happened

Also before that another lad in September last year too. And she's been messaging him since then even after telling me she had stopped it.

So yeah Monday I think I'm telling her I go to council for housing advice

If these are just saucy texts to different lads without evidence that she's actually met up with any of them maybe consider this was harmless flirtation. We all do it even at my age and I'm probably older than your Mum

Before you show her the door on Monday at least have a damn good argument to get to the bottom of it and clear the air. She may admit that she's done this but defend her position by saying she was lonely while you worked all those night shifts I'm not saying it's your fault or that you drove her to it, which is what people tend to try to use that as an excuse for bad behaviour. But she may not have realized how hurtful this is for you. You seem proper angry at her but you also seem sad to be considering the end of a relationship where you were both once so happy

I feel it's so unlikely that any of this was serious stuff. It's also unlikely that any of these cheeky lads were hoping to lure her away from you to set up home with an 18 year old and small child. They were probably just chancers who were toying with her affections and taking advantage of her being at home alone all the time

If you're planning a Fresh Start why not take her and the little lad with you so you can make a fresh start together away from all the stuff which has brought you to this stage? A new home with a new job and new friends away from these naughty boys could be a turning point for both of you

All I'm saying is maybe give it one more go before ending this relationship because regret lasts a very long time