Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Squirrels are still driving me nuts
One has taken up residence with the swallows in the work shop. It's so brazen It just sits eating the peanuts while I go in and out with the mowers.

It's an early sparrows fart start in the morning as we are off oop North on a flying visit round the family.

See you all on Sunday late evening / early Monday.

Regards all, Handy

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

You made me laugh and you do well to hide your JD from Millie!!

Here is one of the little Critters

Lady Hooray now tells me I have too many animals.
Can I help it if I keep getting adopted

It's 'cause your so nice Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Here is one of the little Critters





Lady Hooray now tells me I have too many animals.
Can I help it if I keep getting adopted

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, Handy is under attack from Squirrels.

Recently we have had a few new arrivals. The young Squirrels are totally fearless. Unfortunately the young Border Terrier and Black Lab caught one on Sunday, all I could do was give it the last rights.

The 2 youngsters living under the Thatch in the Barn conversion are so cocky. They come and empty the bird feeders in front of the cottage then come and press their noses against the French Windows knowing the Cat and Dog's cant get them.

Yesterday I was going into the garage where I keep the mowers, I could hear a faint grunting. When I looked on the floor the carrier bag where I keep the bird food was moving. As I stood there a grey fluffy tail emerged backwards. It kept moving until it hit my toecap (no I didn't kick it) This little Squirrel kept going until it was sat on my toecap with one of the Fat Balls we feed the birds, held tightly in its paws. It looked over it's shoulder and realised where I was and where it was, before reluctantly releasing the ball and legging it.

About 20 minute later I was working at the back of the garage when (I think it was the same one) a Squirrel ran up my leg and onto my shoulder then jumped up to the roof.

Later on in the afternoon Millie the cat got hold of one by the tail. I don't know how it got loose but it shot up the Lime Hedge and got between the Bars of the Squirrel proof bird feeder. I was like a diver in a shark cage as the cat couldn't get to it.

The Squirrel was quite happy behind the bars as it had free access to all the bird seed and nuts. I put the moggy back in the house and went prepared to bend the bars apart to release little Tuffty but as I got near he just slipped between the bars, dropped to the ground an legged it.

I have caught the little booger 3 times today, sat on my work bench trying to prize the lid off the tin where I now keep the bird food

Honest I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.
Even the Cat's taken to drink! She emptied Mrs Handy's mug of Tea! this evening. Has anyone ever known a Tea Drinking Cat.

Next job is to hide my Jack Daniels from her.

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

well done, handy, you know how to get results.

No Mrs I, I'm not that good. If it wasn't for the time I have spent here I would probably have let them get on with it.

Not just a win for me, but a win for AAD

Regards, Handy

[mrsinvisible]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

well done, handy, you know how to get results.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I bet the staff call her Dildo Hard in
can't complain I got what I wanted. You can also call me paranoid but since I changed ISP at the beginning of the month I don't feel that there is someone looking over my shoulder when I'm on the interwobble.

The strange pauses and delays have gone, come to think of it I haven't had a blue screen or a crash dump since the change and I haven't altered any settings. Funny that isn't it.

Mind you there's nothing on my lappy or about me that's worth hacking.

Regards, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I did think the email called the CEO Mrs Dildo Harding

Because Squawk Squawk had, ahem, rather cocked it up?

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well done from me too Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well done Handy

though I did think the email called the CEO Mrs Dildo Harding

Cheers Pixie, I have just been back to check my origanal post in case I had made another typo .

I bet it's not the first time she's been called that

Anyway as long as BT don't P me of that's me settled now. Mind you I did swear blind I would never go back to BT.

I am still convinced that all telecoms providers either get hacked or condone spurious charges that occasionally pop up on your bill.

Like the 2 directory enquiry charges made within seconds of each other on a day we were up in Yorkshire.

But that's another rant for another time.

Regards, Handy

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well done Handy

though I did think the email called the CEO Mrs Dildo Harding

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Result

Phone call this morning from Ewan at Squawk Squawk.
Apologising for my having found it necessary to contact the Big Boss. In view of the poor service I have had and the fact I felt impelled to leave, they are wiping out the Contract Termination fee. A refund is immanent

Nothing was said about my contention that the Intermittent fault as he termed it was caused at their end. But he seemed quite surprised when I told him that since changing provider the connection has remained stable and is 4 x faster.

Sort of ruins the argument that the fault was on the copper line.

Just proves if you want results take it to the top.

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Why not tell Her Stupidity Ladyship that the plants need hydrogen hydroxide adding to their water and asking her to get some from the local pharmacy?

Don't think I'm not tempted (sometimes). I sometimes do let things go pear shaped as it's the only way to prove a point. I keep a 5 gallon drum of Hyper Chlorate on hand as its the best and quickest way to remove moss and algae from the flags and cobbles, it's also great as a defoliant

As I installed most of the security, plumbing and electric's at the property I could cause a lot of unattributable failures. Problem is I'm not that sort of chap. Well only to people who really pish me off

She isn't unique, since I got involved in this sort of work (by need, not by choice) I have met dozens who are worse. None of them have ever had a real job, they can't understand why everybody doesn't live in a 3M house with 20 acres and have inherited wealth.

If you talk to them they will tell you how hard they have worked, building houses and laying out gardens, or running Art Galleries and so on.

In other words they broke into a sweat signing the check for the folk who did the labour for them.

Sometimes it gets right up my snotter.

Today something came up in conversation, she said to me you have a downer on Cameron. I replied do you blame me, he is an upper Middle Class Twit (much like everyone she knows ) who can't even tell you how much a pint of milk costs. Now his muppets are suggesting removing D.L.A from amputee ex service men.

The conversation finished at that point.
Now if anything happened to upset her little bubble she would be baying for blood. But then one doesn't turn on ones own, does one?

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well I seem to have had a response

Dear Mr Andy Mann,

Many thanks for your recent email to Mrs. Dido Harding. I am extremely sorry you have had to contact her in search of a resolution to your complaint. Dido has asked me to own your issue on behalf of TalkTalk, and I would like to introduce myself as I will be investigating and resolving your query.

I will initiate an immediate investigation into the background and will be contacting you shortly to discuss the matter in more detail. Should you have an alternative contact number and preferred time of contact, please confirm to me and I will ensure these details are used. In the interim, I am available by both email and telephone. My direct number is XXXX XXXXX XXXX.

Please accept my sincere apologies for having to take the time to contact Squawk Squawk and be assured I will do everything I can to help bring this matter to a satisfactory resolution.

Yours Sincerely,

Ewan Hamilton
Manager, Chief Executive's Office
Squawk Squawk


Slight edit for the protection of anonymity

If anyone ever needs the correct email or direct phone number for them please pm me and I will be happy to pass on the details.

Regards, Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I had a three mile bike ride today cos I lost my bus pass...Ouch... and part of that was a whopping up hill...

Now bare in mind this was all done without tubigrip and then I had physio at the hospital etc etc...I am feeling sore

Och and paranoid...and stupid muppets se emporium doesn't help

SC