Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

[IF]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Hi all and good luck and success to all those who are stopping Smoking.

I have tried many times over the years, willpower patches and gum.

I tried Hypnotherapy once. I couldn't afford the proper guy, so I got a mate who is a stage hypnotist to do it for me! Only problem was I didn't stop smoking but I turned into a chicken.
As a wind up he told me that every time I was offered a ciggy I had to Cluck and Run around flapping my arms.
He thought it would make me keep away from the fags.

When anyone asked if I wanted a ciggy I'd start to cluck.

It only stopped me from buying my own as my mates at work were lining up to offer me one.

Keep up the good work, Cheers Handy.

PS I eventually got it reversed, now I only think I'm a handyman

Oooh Handy you made I laugh, you always brighten up my day!!

[Angelic]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Champix is the way to go...not that I've tried it but I know 4 people who've stopped smoking using the wee tablets, it's (apparently) just a few days of using them (you use them for 2weeks whilst you're still smoking) that the cravings stop.

Best of luck to you!!

[Angelic]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

This thread seems to fit in better here, after all, it *is* all about health...and beauty (no wrinkles, yellow fingers etc!!)

[alwaysskint]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Thanks for your support peeps

:-( Managed to go 8 hours, which is brill for me, but the monster won round one
So annoyed with myself!

I'm still trying to be positive, even with the failure - no cigs for 8 hours is a massive achievement for me, but even that sounds pathetic lol
I've heard that Champix can help, and I am committed to beating this, so made an appointment at the doctors as soon as they opened lol. Going this afternoon so we'll see how that goes....

So far today I've had 4, so not going too well but I think that's partly because I'm back in the 'failure/doomed/you're sh1t' zone

Handy - I love your stories/adventures! They really do make me giggle, and I feel I'd suit being a chicken right now ;-)

Off to read my book again, before going to the quacks
x

[LooLoo]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Don't beat yourself up about it. The main thing is you are trying and you want to give up.

Let us know how it goes at the Doc's!!!

[IF]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Agree with Loo, you are going to do it and were all sending you positive thoughts x

[Handyman]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

For allways skint.


Hi all can you remember Handy telling you about his time on the Northern Cub Circuit, and also about his Hypnotist mate who helped him (not stop smoking by making me cluck like a chicken each time I was offered a fag.

Well one time my agent booked me to do a gig at a club at Seacroft in Leeds.
Big club, with an artist’s dressing room down 6 flights of stairs into the basement. I always said if there was Nuclear Holocaust that’s where I would hide, it was like a fallout shelter.

When I got there, this old chap on the door said “if your not a member you’ll have to sign in mate”. I told him its OK I’m Happy Harry Handy the turn for tonight. “He dropped down behind hid counter and asked you’re not a Hypnotist are you?” He had his hands covering his eyes and wouldn’t look at me. No I said I’m a Comic, few jokes, maybe a song or 2 but that’s it.
“That’s all right then”, “you want the concert sec he’s in the lounge”.

Puzzled off I went to look for the Concert Secretary. I found him in his box by the stage, introduced myself and was greeted by the same question, “are you a Hypnotist?”. Like the chap before him, he put his hands to face and wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

I gave him the same reply as before, I’m Happy Harry Handy the turn for tonight. I’m a Comic, few jokes, maybe a song or 2 but that’s it. He told me that that was alright then, showed me where to set up my gear and the Nuclear shelter (Dressing Room). When I was finished I went into the bar to get a beer before starting.

The Club steward was busy with a glass cloth trying to polish the pint mark off of a glass.
I said pint please when you’re ready mate, and before you ask I’m the turn for tonight And I’m not a Blinkin Hypnotist.
The steward dropped to his knees at the back of the bar. I stood on the rail and looked over. What’s this carp about a hypnotist I asked?

“Are you telling the truth your not” he said. Off course I am, I’m a comic or at least I’m trying to be if anyone here will look at me.

“Well” he said getting up from his hiding place, “let me explain”.
“Do you know Martin St James, the world renown Hypnotist?”. Yes I said he turned me into a chicken once ( another handy story).

“we had him here last week” he told me, “in less than ten minutes he had every Man, Women and Child in the club mesmerised”. “There was over 200 of us in the concert room”. We were all doing amazing things, I was a Ballet Dancer”, the concert secretary was a Stripper, and Fred on the door was a Sergeant Major. “All the kids in the club were acting like their parents and the parents were the kids“. “We all knew what we were doing, its just we had to obey we couldn’t help ourselves”. “It was great fun until Martin St James came down off the stage into the middle of the room”. “He’d just got into the centre when he tripped over his Microphone lead”,
“When he said Oh Sh!t”, We Did”. We were still digging ourselves out on Wednesday.

[LooLoo]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Always Skint - I can't even begin to top Handy's story..... (I am sitting here crying with laughter!)

Hope you got on ok at the Docs!! let us know

[Handyman]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Hi Always Skint, how are you doing. Keep strong matey. If you can stop then even Handy may have another go.
If I were to stop and God only knows I ought to, I could buy a new car with what I could save.

Anyway now you have stopped you won't be using any of Niddy's favorite Herbal mix either.
So to take you mind off things and hopefully give you a giggle here goes.


Three men are sitting in room smoking cannabis.

After a few spliffs they run out of gear.
One of the men stands up and says,
"Look, we've got loads more tobacco, I'll just nip into the kitchen and
make one of my specialty spliffs."

Off he goes into the kitchen where he takes some of the spices from the
spice rack, grinds them up and rolls them into a spliff.

On his return he hands it to one of his smoking partners who lights it
and takes a long drag.

Within seconds he passes out.

Ten minutes go by, then an hour, and he's still out cold, so they decide
to take him to the hospital.

On arrival he is wheeled into intensive care.
The doctor returns to his friends and asks, "So what was he doing then -
Cannabis?"

"Well sort of", replies one of the guys, "But we ran out of gear, so I
made a home-made spliff."

"Oh" replies the doctor, "so what did you put in it?"

"Um, a bit of cumin, some turmeric, garam masala and a couple of other
spices." comes the answer.

The doctor sighs,
"Well that explains it. He'll be here for 3 weeks before he wakes up."

"Why, what's wrong with him?" asks one of the men.
The doctor replies,
"He's in a korma".

Regards, Handy.

[confused76]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

you can still do it....how did you get on at the docs, any help? x

[alwaysskint]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Still laughing my head off at Handy, as said before, you really should write a book! I'd buy it - with some of the money I'm saving lol

Well. After beating myself up - like you do - for letting Big Nic beat me, I decided to look at things with a little more positivity, I haven't smoked more than 15 which is a huge difference to 40, and I've been to the doctors.

For those that are trying to quit, but don't want to do group sessions, the NHS do one to one smoking clinics.

It was an hour session, and I explained that I already know the downside to smoking, money, chemicals, etc, and if any of that information was of any use to me, I'd have quit years ago!!
It's hard to explain, but smoking has such a hold, those facts just don't matter!
It does.... of course it does... but not when you're smoking!
Who cares that in 10 years I'll have the same heart attack risk factor as someone that's never smoked, when I'm struggling to get past the next 20 mins?!

I had pneumonia and pleurisy back in the late eighties. Almost died from it. I was out for the count for nearly 6 weeks, I rattled when I walked, it was nearly 3 months before I was able to go outside on my own. I have prayed to be that ill again purely so I could give up the fags, because I was young and stupid and the first thing I did was go and buy some cigs, my head then, wasn't where it is now.

It's been decided to opt for Champix, and in conjunction with that, I'm reading Allen Carr's book on a daily basis, working on the basis that what he says makes far more sense for the here and now, than the NHS projections for years 5 and 10.

Funny, when I read the book, I feel so positive and strong, but there's something else stronger keeps pulling me back :-(
It's not been as hard as I thought it would be to cut back as much as I have, but it's not as easy as I'd hoped it would be to get rid completely.

I now have a fridge full of grapes to take instead of a cig
A cold bottle of juice for me to sip on - apparently that's meant to help
I'm swopping coffee for tea
and I'm doing a smoking diary too

Many thanks for your continued support lads n lasses it is very much appreciated, and I'll keep going
Always xx

[Handyman]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Well I'm off to the Docs this morning, I have an annual heart check. They want to know if I have still got one or if it's turned into a swinging Jack Daniels Bottle.

I expect I will get the full lecture again. This time I think I may take it seriously. Truly am considering the Hypono again. When I had it I came away from the surgery, threw my last packet away and was great for nearly 4 months. On the day before I started again I climbed Snowdon in record time. I was so chuffed when I was with the mates having a celebratory drink. (Ratted) someone offered me a fag and that was it.

Stay strong mate.
You may make a convert of me yet.
Handy.

[alwaysskint]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

I'd say good luck at the docs, but everyone here already knows you have a heart ;-)

I got some vouchers for xmas for a health and beauty place locally, I have kept them to one side because if this attempt fails, I'll be using them to go to their hypno guy myself lol.
And if I manage to kick the dreaded weed, I shall be using them instead for a full top to toe makeover :-)

I would say that if you do think about quitting, get Allen Carrs book... I genuinely do believe it is helping me change my mindset! And as Champix isn't actually a nicotine replacement, don't feel like I'm swopping one intake for another type.

Fingers crossed the docs goes well for you m8
Always x

[LooLoo]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Handy's joke cracked me up!

Well done AS - you are approaching this the right way as wow 15 from 40 is really good!!

Ah Handy you have a great big heart!

I'm going to send Mr Looloo to the docs at some point soon for his MOT bet he gets advised to give up but will he... probably not!

[IF]

Re: Quitting smoking - The first day of the rest of my life!

Just popping in Always to wish you well and were all with you x

Handy the only problem with your heart is it is far too big