My dad is really ill

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

I used to work for the local council as a home carer, and you could tell the families that shouted loudest, they had all the best disability Items, and the little old dear with no family had to cope as long as they could till 'FUNDS' became available. even if we requested Items we were told " can't you manage for a while longer"
If I went to a new client and found there was no aids in place I used to tell their family to go to the local disability center to find what was available ( I worked there for 2 years) and then call social services and tell them they needed help with this or that. Sorry but some social workers are brainless and if you don't know whats out there and tell them you don't get.
Its changed a bit now and someone normally calls after a Dr referral, but they try and go for the cheaper option.

S2M hope all keeps going well

thank you, well we can certainly shout in our family : so we are going to go for as much help as possible and I am finding out about lots of things on here which would benefit my parents

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M

So glad things seem to be moving for your parents and the your Dad's meds are getting sorted out....we can tell that you seem a bit happier now your Dad is able to speak and walk again its heartbreaking having to watch and care for someone you love so much deteriorate before your eyes...especially when a simple adaptaion of meds can make things better.

Don't give up on the Shower room as it took months for us to get approval from council.

Thank you , last night was the first nights sleep in ages even hubby said he slept well so it has taken a lot off my mind, yes we are going to push for the shower

[Miss Muddled]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M

So glad things seem to be moving for your parents and the your Dad's meds are getting sorted out....we can tell that you seem a bit happier now your Dad is able to speak and walk again its heartbreaking having to watch and care for someone you love so much deteriorate before your eyes...especially when a simple adaptaion of meds can make things better.

Don't give up on the Shower room as it took months for us to get approval from council.

[nightwatch]

Re: I think my dad is dying

I used to work for the local council as a home carer, and you could tell the families that shouted loudest, they had all the best disability Items, and the little old dear with no family had to cope as long as they could till 'FUNDS' became available. even if we requested Items we were told " can't you manage for a while longer"
If I went to a new client and found there was no aids in place I used to tell their family to go to the local disability center to find what was available ( I worked there for 2 years) and then call social services and tell them they needed help with this or that. Sorry but some social workers are brainless and if you don't know whats out there and tell them you don't get.
Its changed a bit now and someone normally calls after a Dr referral, but they try and go for the cheaper option.

S2M hope all keeps going well

[garlok]

Re: I think my dad is dying

It is so annoying that the authorities do not willingly and voluntarily divulge this information to genuinely help those who need it. It is the disabled person themselves (often not fit enough to do it) or their carers and loved ones who have make all the running.

regards
G

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Keep pushing for the wet room conversion now, as it could take some time for it to get approval and done, and if you wait until they NEED it they could be disadvantaged. I think the tories have ended the disabled facilities grant and left it up to the local authority to decide, but get in and keep pushing. Talk to the OT as they make the recommendation for any adaptations. Ask about a profiling bed, hoists, reclining chairs, etc. Ask about apre air drying system for the shower (like a body length hand drier so they can dry themselves after showering) and toilet with facility for washing and warm air drying of perineal area. Mr I had one, and it really helped to maintain his dignity and independence. Don't be fobbed off with the cheap options your dad needs the best available. If I can help, let me know.

hi thank you for this information, my dad is getting the bed hoist and also a bed guard as he falls out of bed , my mum has already said she wants the shower because she is very nervous of the chair and to be honest I don't think it will be suitable for them , my dad has Parkinson's and his balance isn't good .

Thanks again

[mrsinvisible]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Keep pushing for the wet room conversion now, as it could take some time for it to get approval and done, and if you wait until they NEED it they could be disadvantaged. I think the tories have ended the disabled facilities grant and left it up to the local authority to decide, but get in and keep pushing. Talk to the OT as they make the recommendation for any adaptations. Ask about a profiling bed, hoists, reclining chairs, etc. Ask about apre air drying system for the shower (like a body length hand drier so they can dry themselves after showering) and toilet with facility for washing and warm air drying of perineal area. Mr I had one, and it really helped to maintain his dignity and independence. Don't be fobbed off with the cheap options your dad needs the best available. If I can help, let me know.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

dementia is always a hard one to treat or cope with, my nan has this and luckily for her, she's in a really good home that recognises the condition and deals with it very well. sadly shes at the point now where she doesn't know who I or my mother are, but she's happy and that's all that matters.

It's sad I know, a friend of the family had dementia and then she got bowel cancer but they wouldn't treat it as they said she wouldn't understand what was happening to her, but she lived for another 3 years without pain and without knowing she had cancer, I firmly believe that when someone is told they have cancer or whatever and there is no cure then they deteriorate quicker as they get the feeling of no hope .

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M, Just wanted to wish you and your family the best at this hard time.
Cheers
Missy

Hi missy, thank you very much x

[SA Gold]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Hi S2M, Just wanted to wish you and your family the best at this hard time.
Cheers
Missy

[SXGuy]

Re: I think my dad is dying

dementia is always a hard one to treat or cope with, my nan has this and luckily for her, she's in a really good home that recognises the condition and deals with it very well. sadly shes at the point now where she doesn't know who I or my mother are, but she's happy and that's all that matters.

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good News S2M, however I would still push for the shower conversion as he would still need a certain amount of strength to use those bath lifts still at least things are going in the right direction.

As for us our mums dementia is getting worse and very forgetful today she told my wife off for dumping her knickers in the skip when in fact they was in the washing machine so we need to give her GP a kicking as he is not taking it seriously enough and my wife now needs support because she goes to pieces and finds it very upsetting watching her mums health decline like it is.

aww I know its terrible but they don't mean to offend us my dad is the same, he tells me I never do anything for him and I know he doesn't mean it but it does upset you.
My husbands parents are not well either hubby's mum is 82 and has loads of health problems and his step father is nearly blind and has other health problems also, so we juggle our time between both of them but there are his two sisters who do most of the help for his parents which does ease the pressure from us.

We were supposed to be going abroad for a holiday in September but under the circumstances we have decided to have five days in a log cabin with our son and his wife and grandson, I have booked it and we are really looking forward to it, we plan to visit some castles and visit a few museums, son and his wife want to go to York dungeons so we will be watching our 18 month grandson while they go in as we don't like anything like that ha ha I am a scare cat lol,

[pompeyfaith]

Re: I think my dad is dying

Good News S2M, however I would still push for the shower conversion as he would still need a certain amount of strength to use those bath lifts still at least things are going in the right direction.

As for us our mums dementia is getting worse and very forgetful today she told my wife off for dumping her knickers in the skip when in fact they was in the washing machine so we need to give her GP a kicking as he is not taking it seriously enough and my wife now needs support because she goes to pieces and finds it very upsetting watching her mums health decline like it is.

[fluffystuff]

Re: I think my dad is dying

I think the title of the thread should be changed to I think my dad is improving

Yes, much more cheerful! X

[Spent2much]

Re: I think my dad is dying

it certainly is fluffystuff, I can't believe that adjusting his medication has made such a change, I could understand my dad when spoke today too, and he was walking about the house , I think the title of the thread should be changed to I think my dad is improving