Everything getting on top of me.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

It won't cost that much for the amounts you mention....

You'll be fine; as you say it's your health. Try germt a firm involved that also know DWP rules as they can also help with your benefits if necessary. Lots of firms out there defend DWP action so there are firms that know the rules and backdoors....

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

I know it's the right thing to do.

I've just spoken to dad though who says it'll cost tens of thousands in solicitors fees for them to do the probate (at £200 an hour plus admin costs). But even if it does cost so much, you can't put a price on health, is the way I see it.

He also said I don't need a solicitor for LPA as he'll do it. I want someone neutral who knows the ins and outs of the law though, not someone who'll argue about what's 'best' for me on a peronal level.

I don't think he's trying to rip us off or anything, he's going to split the profit from his house between us regardless of the value of mum's, as long as it's more. If his is worth less than mum's, he wont buy it, if it's worth a lot more then he gifts us the extra.

So I don't think he's actually trying to rip us off or anything, I think he's just incredibly naive about the legal stuff.

Sister, on the other hand...

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Thanks for all your help matey - let's hope it helps her out; right now this neutral help & support is ideal as it's kept things on par with the severity of the situation. It's not like going grassing your sister up, far from it. You're actually looking after your own needs which is spot on.

Well done for being so strong & thanks Garlok et al for all your support here.

Awesome that you're actually going to do the right thing and speak to the pro's

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Brilliant, thanks. I don't know if I'll see anyone on monday, that's when I'm going to contact them. Hopefully I'll get in to see them quickly.

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Hi Ames,

Its no problem. Its what Niddy sends his press gangs out for l

I'm really glad that you are seeing someone on Monday. Most of the solicitors practices in a locality handle this sort of work as their standard bread and butter anyway. Probate, family law, breavement issues conveyancing. Although the days of the old family solicitor are disappearing to a great extent many many multi task and your case will be handled by one person who has access to specialist knowledge if they need it. You may not see "your" solicitor all of the time but there will be someone, a direct contact who will handle all of the day to day work on your behalf and get decisions scheduled and made by the qualified staff. In fact I rarely speak or have any contact with ours, we go through her legal assistant. We have learned to trust them and let them get on with it all. It keeps your costs down as well.

Glad to be of help

regards
Garlok

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Of course I don't mind you seeking advice for me, in fact it means a lot that you took the time to do so.

On Monday I'm going to speak to a solicitor about all the things you raised.

The LPA thing has reassured me a lot, I'll talk to them about that too.

Would a probate solicitor be able to do both or are they totally different specialisations?

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Hi Ames,

Just managed to speak with someone very recently involved with LPAs etc and who is qualified to a certain extent to speak on the matter. He is my elder brother and he read for the Bar many years ago his specialty however was Contract Law and moved into commerce. His advice is immediately get a local solicitor to act for you. Two fronts for you to consider, one of course is your mother's estate, as we have discussed. The other is to talk to him/her genuinely about your own problems. You may not need a full blown LPA, but in any case should that be the decision you can carry on and live your life as you wish, its primary function (backed by the court) is literally YOUR protection and is only invoked in full during times of incapacity. There is another way forward for you to consider and that is to give your solicitor full authority to act on your behalf and in your best interests should anything happen with your illness that incapacitates you in any way. Simpler than a full blown LPA but you need to discuss. Again that is all done to support and protect you and your interests in the unfortunate circumstance of your illness preventing you from carrying on as normal. Getting something in place now you are at the level of having the crisis team involved is quite an important matter for you to resolve.

In the dead hand of the legal eyes, your father, due to the divorce has no legal standing whatsoever and should not be allowed to involve himself in these affairs and almost certainly will be told so by your legal representatives. Both in terms of the estate issues and your own personal issues they will act only in your best interests.

Hope that has helped a bit more and you didn't mind me seeking some further advice on your behalf.

regards
Garlok

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

CC, I'm just not strong enough for that level of confrontation. On Monday (or tomorrow if they're open) I'm going to look into getting a solicitor to take over the administration, so they can decide whether that's necessary and take the steps if it is.

The thought had occurred to me that if your sister had been "cleaning" the house, she might also have pilfered (or been pilfering) some of the contents and, with you now laying down the law to her, she might want to grab some more.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Wise move. Best of luck - let the experts deal with it. Click the link in CC's signature

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

CC, I'm just not strong enough for that level of confrontation. On Monday (or tomorrow if they're open) I'm going to look into getting a solicitor to take over the administration, so they can decide whether that's necessary and take the steps if it is.

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

It might be wise to get the house locks changed.

[Pixie]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Hi Ames

I don't have any advice to give - and it seems like you're getting plenty of good advice anyway. I just want to offer my support. Take care of yourself x

[confused76]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

well done for standing up to her...i know it's hard when you're struggling so a big well done to you

as Garlock says above, if you now get the legal representation then this will take the rest of the stress away, let someone else take the strain of this for you. x

[Ames]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Brilliant, thanks.

I'm still reeling from her comment last night that I shouldn't be shocked with the diabetes diagnosis because I knew I'd had the tests, and then that she carried on trying to railroad me when I'd told her I wasn't in a good place, she just has no consideration or empathy whatsoever for anyone else.

[garlok]

Re: Everything getting on top of me.

Thats brilliant Ames. Follow through with getting legal representation and the stress will lift away. All you will have to do is keep a weather eye on it all, report anything you feel is wrongdoing to them etc. and they will ask you to sign papers as and when each stage is dealt with.

They really are there to support you and they MUST always act in your best interests or face the consequences.

I will be talking to someone about LPAs maybe even this evening if I can get them so anything useful to protect your interests I will pass on.

Garlok