How many texts are too many?

[PriorityOne]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Sorry to read about your situation Kilasuit.... it's never easy when kids are involved.

If you haven't already discussed it with her, then it's a good idea to do that first rather then fester on it. If she has form though and has dallied with this bloke before, then you need to be prepared for hearing things you may not want to.

Best of luck... and stay strong....

[jen_br]

Re: How many texts are too many?

50 texts a day doesn't mean its about sex or cheating. I text a few people at least 20-30 times a day and if we are chatting it can be much more. There is no harm there and nothing sexual.

However if you have doubts the first place you need to turn is to her. Ask her straight up before she even answers you will know your answer.

Luckily your child is young enough that it won't have too bad of an emotional effect on them.

[nightwatch]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Hi kilasuit
so sorry for your problems. do you think that if you asked your partner about these text she may have an answer that you would belive or have you already decided on the answer as a lie? what ever the answer ,you have to make the choice, it will be hard but sometimes for the best
I speak as someone who has been there,
hubby fanced his chances with his sisters mate, texed her saying I was putting him down, did nothing, was boring,
at the time I was working 3 jobs, sorting out our debts, looking after 2 children, cleaning, cooking.
If I asked if he wanted to go out he was always tired, or there was somthing going on at work,
I suspected something was wrong when he started taking his Itemised phone bill to work,
I soon sorted that out,asked for a copy!, I knew how to get into his voicemail from a land line, and then I transfered all his calls to my phone so I knew when she phoned him,
I started acting as if I didn't give a sh1t. stopped cooking I was too busy, got dressed up at a weekend when he was off and told him he would have to watch the kids as i was going out(sat in my mates drinking Tea)worked a treat,he got worried I was leaving him and stopped calling her,
that was 15+ years ago, and I am so sorry I bothered as he is doing my chuffin head in

[kilasuit]

Re: How many texts are too many?

No matter what decision i make its going to be tough either way.

Always good to know there is support around the corner even when things look rather bleak and dire.

MW3 is calling. time to relieve some anger

[confused76]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Good luck Kilasuit, i hope you make the right choice for you.

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

--> How to sell your wife on eBay - Funadvice Howtos

or

--> I SOLD MY WIFE ON EBAY!

AAD can also stand for All About Divorce. No one can ever accuse Niddy of not diversifying

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

On a serious note, I was trying to lighten the mood with the sell the Mrs on eBay, follow your heart mate. Your head will tell you all sorts of nonsense, but if you still love the lass then don't throw it away - maybe it can be saved eh?

If you think though, you can't put up with it anymore then try and stay calm so you can at least get regular access to your wee one.

Best wishes and best of luck

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

--> How to sell your wife on eBay - Funadvice Howtos

or

--> I SOLD MY WIFE ON EBAY!

[Pixie]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Indeed, and I have been through it too. But my daughter never sees her father despite my best efforts to keep them together over the years

I totally agree that if the relationship is genuinely over sometimes sadly parting is the only thing, but I'm in favour of putting up one hell of a fight to repair the damage to a relationship before I would throw in the towel. But that's just my handsight and old age talking.

I tried to keep contact between my youngest 2 and their Dad but he wasn't interested. Now, 20 years on, he's decided he wants to be part of their lives but now they're old enough to tell him where to go.

As kilasuit has had the same problem with his missus before, and presumably patched up their relationship, I don't think you can say he's given up without a fight.

????

You should never ever stay together for the sake of kids, kids see the hatred brewing between parents and those that say otherwise are kidding themselves.

Of course when you're arguing a kid see's it and thinks it is acceptable if it is over a prolonged period. If the relationship is over the BEST thing for the kids (and for you both) is to amicably walk away and give the kids their two parents, just separately.

millions of us have been through it, we're not all bad

Agree totally Niddy, which is why I said

You can be a brilliant Dad to your son, even if you don't live with him, so long as you and your girlfriend work together in his best interests. My ex-husband is a brilliant Dad to our kids...and to the 2 I had later, even though they're not his. They've all grown up to be well-adjusted adults.

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Indeed, and I have been through it too. But my daughter never sees her father despite my best efforts to keep them together over the years

I totally agree that if the relationship is genuinely over sometimes sadly parting is the only thing, but I'm in favour of putting up one hell of a fight to repair the damage to a relationship before I would throw in the towel. But that's just my handsight and old age talking.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

All I can add to that is you should both read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus also available on eBay tomorrow for £11.70

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/000717613...&hvptwo=&hvqmt=

????

You should never ever stay together for the sake of kids, kids see the hatred brewing between parents and those that say otherwise are kidding themselves.

Of course when you're arguing a kid see's it and thinks it is acceptable if it is over a prolonged period. If the relationship is over the BEST thing for the kids (and for you both) is to amicably walk away and give the kids their two parents, just separately.

millions of us have been through it, we're not all bad

[Pixie]

Re: How many texts are too many?

We girls fall for charm and romance every time

I agree...ask Alland

Yeah but i'd be going for custody. Plus I have family with ability to support both of us where as her family are mainly benefit claimants.

I'm not sure that this would make any difference to be honest. With a child so young, a court would need a very good reason not to let the mother have custody.

It's definitely one of those situations where I'm gonna have to have a chat with dearest mother of mine.

That's a good idea. Your Mum knows you both and will have a good idea what's best for all of you.

well from what you're saying mate maybe it's time to kick her out and move on, without the stress of wondering if you're Mrs is shagging the fit neighbour, or mate whatever.

Not meaning to sound harsh but you are saying she has history with the same guy she's now texting so it must mean one thing, there is no middle or 3rd point - there simply can't be can there?

Either live with it and get yourself a wee slapper to play with to get even, or kick her out - your child really doesn't come into things at this stage (with the greatest of respect) - you come first then you do what is right for the child. I mean, it's pointless staying unhappy for a child - no. That is nonsense and no medical or child professional will suggest doing that, only the insane suggest staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids (what this really means is they want their cake and eat it).

Anyway, best of luck. I was hoping it'd be all innocent but this can't be - it's just not possible is it?

Wife for sale, £9.99 on eBay tomorrow....

I have to agree with Niddy...there's no point in staying in an unhappy relationship just for the sake of the child(ren)...it does more harm than good.

I think that you've already made your mind up...she's done it before (and with the same guy )...if she promises to put a stop to it this time, who knows when the next time will be?

You can be a brilliant Dad to your son, even if you don't live with him, so long as you and your girlfriend work together in his best interests. My ex-husband is a brilliant Dad to our kids...and to the 2 I had later, even though they're not his. They've all grown up to be well-adjusted adults.

A fresh start might be what you need x

[PlanB]

Re: How many texts are too many?

. . . . pointless staying unhappy for a child - no. That is nonsense and no medical or child professional will suggest doing that, only the insane suggest staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids (what this really means is they want their cake and eat it).

Anyway, best of luck. I was hoping it'd be all innocent but this can't be - it's just not possible is it?

Wife for sale, £9.99 on eBay tomorrow....

All I can add to that is you should both read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus also available on eBay tomorrow for £11.70

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/000717613...&hvptwo=&hvqmt=

[kilasuit]

Re: How many texts are too many?

Then if you want to hold on to her you may have to woo her all over again to win back her affection

If it was me I'd buy her flowers, get a babysitter, take her out to supper and tell her how much you love her and you know you've been under pressure at work and away most nights but you're going to make it better for you both (or rather all three of you) from now on. We girls fall for charm and romance every time

Thing is I'm sorta seeing this as yet more reasoning to be making a complete fresh start.
Kinda hard not to.
Money problems then work issues that lead to more work issues and then housing too. And now this. Think it may be best to boot lot into touch and make a fresh start.
Get a career not a min wage job.
Get the money together to afford my own place (none of this renting milarke)
Get out of the dump of a town I'm in. I can't remember last time I heard anything good being said about me except by ex-colleagues and ex-managers.
The town is full of backstabbing jerks. Always looking to get 1 up on you no matter the consequences.

On a lighter note. Shopping to do. Challenge is week for 3 of us under £30.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: How many texts are too many?

unfortunatly we had fallen out in the past due to similar circumstances and this bloke she was messaging she was also seeing him behind my back (and again this time too)

well from what you're saying mate maybe it's time to kick her out and move on, without the stress of wondering if you're Mrs is shagging the fit neighbour, or mate whatever.

Not meaning to sound harsh but you are saying she has history with the same guy she's now texting so it must mean one thing, there is no middle or 3rd point - there simply can't be can there?

Either live with it and get yourself a wee slapper to play with to get even, or kick her out - your child really doesn't come into things at this stage (with the greatest of respect) - you come first then you do what is right for the child. I mean, it's pointless staying unhappy for a child - no. That is nonsense and no medical or child professional will suggest doing that, only the insane suggest staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids (what this really means is they want their cake and eat it).

Anyway, best of luck. I was hoping it'd be all innocent but this can't be - it's just not possible is it?

Wife for sale, £9.99 on eBay tomorrow....