Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

So take it your interwebby is now fixed....

Any tips on unblocking a partially blocked loo?

And I have breast clinic on the 16th...chaperone?

And now creepy crawlies and I don't mean on the floor (and no you can't see them)

SC

Use a large 2 litre coke bottle with the bottom cut off as a plunger. Keep the cap screwed on as you may get measles if it splashes back . BTW make sure that the bowl is full of water first.

Chaperone on the 16th I really don't think you would need me for that job? not that I'm squeamish or anything, or that I don't know what's involved in the examination. Something similar to a bloke being asked to stick his nuts in a vice (ouch). But you mat find a sympathetic female presence of more value than the gallows humour of a sceptical old Handyman.

Regarding the creepy crawlies (no smart reply here) sounds like your new meds need adjusting? who can you ask (trust) for advice?

Regards, Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

So take it your interwebby is now fixed....

Any tips on unblocking a partially blocked loo?

And I have breast clinic on the 16th...chaperone?

And now creepy crawlies and I don't mean on the floor (and no you can't see them)

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Not so much Cordon Bleu as Cordon Doff?

Oh that's a good one.

In a Local shop there is a plaque to hang in the Kitchen.
It reads "Many have Eaten Here, But Few have Died."
I wanted to buy it for Lady Hooray but Mrs Handy put her foot down with a firm hand. "one day" she said "even Her Ladyship will realise your extracting the Urine."

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Remember I see how and what Lady Hooray cooks, she was trained as a Cordon Bleu cook, but unfortunately missed the section on food hygiene

Not so much Cordon Bleu as Cordon Doff?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

How do you know the scraps from the High Table would have brought on diarrhoea?

I hope you soon feel better.

Remember I see how and what Lady Hooray cooks, she was trained as a Cordon Bleu cook, but unfortunately missed the section on food hygiene

For a Dinner Party she will prepare a Sea food Course a week in advance, the Main course 3 days in advance and the pudding from month old left overs. In her parlance Well Hung means it must be that ripe that even her terriers turn their noses up. Rare means a piece of beef that has had its Horns removed, its Arse wiped and has been passed through a low flame, If if still Moos when you stick your fork in then it's just about perfect.

In her circle she is revered for her Gastronomic skills! I have said of her guests that if you can find blood in their Alcohol Stream they would be ill, good job because it seems to kill most bacteria.

The last time we had the septic tank emptied I told the tanker driver he should be paying us for the contents. There is that much Venison, Grouse and Champagne in there I told him it has cost £20.00 per kilo to produce I believe he sold half the load the the local allotment society.

Regards, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

the tight boogers never even gave the dogs a scrap of the left overs.

In a way I'm glad they never got any, 8 dogs with the squits would be as much as this old Handyman could cope with.

How do you know the scraps from the High Table would have brought on diarrhoea?

I hope you soon feel better.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Green what?

I take it SC still has a bad case of Nonpuerperal mastitis, hence the Green excretion (Yuk).

Lets hope she finds a medic who knows how to treat it effectively as it is sometimes not caused by infection alone.

Regards, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

When I get more time to post I can tell you what a sad time this last few days have been, but this evening has had a real bright spot. Kid Sis is over with her four Border Collies, so at walkie time tonight I had 8 dogs to take out. It's great how they all all get on like one big Wolf Pack.

On the way down the lawn from the woods, they gate crashed a dinner party that was being held in the barn conversion by one of her Ladyships friends.

The Counte de Lambrusco was swaying in the breeze holding the door open, "I say I have never seen so many dogs since the last hunt meet". Silly booger should have kept the door shut, 4 collies, 2 Labs and 2 Border Terriers swept in no doubt lured by the smell of Escargot in Garlic Butter and Rare Roast Beef.

No doubt I will get in in the neck in the morning, the tight boogers never even gave the dogs a scrap of the left overs. I will point out that if the Silly Count had shut the door the rest of the dinner guests wouldn't have been mugged by the dogs.

In a way I'm glad they never got any, 8 dogs with the squits would be as much as this old Handyman could cope with. The Pooper Scooper has already gone into overtime this week

Regards all, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Ya only missing me being hormonal LOL

Green bewb anyone?

Green what?

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Ya only missing me being hormonal LOL

Green bewb anyone?

SC

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi Handy, Oh no, blooody internet eh!! Hope you get it sorted soon matey we miss ya

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, sorry for not posting here for a while. Blinking Internet connection is still giving me problems. I keep getting cut off for up to and sometimes over 24 hours at a time. Talk (No)Talk keep going round in circles. Don't worry in a very short time I am planning to move to a provider that hopefully can get things sorted out?

I have the mobile phone so I can keep up to date but the signal here is so bad it can take several minutes to load a page, so posting a reply is almost impossible.

For now I hope you are all well and life is going OK for you all.

Regards, Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

I can see Lady Hooray's daughter getting sectioned soon

Dr. C is paying you a visit handy...Look out for the alastair campbell look alike!!!!

Having a row with Ma over DS not texting me she wanted prayer. I don't think a few choice words counts as like 'being constantly horrible' or even challenging her.

But Ma will always stick up for DS and like blame me ....tis life....Family don't care. So long as they're okay in their wee world... Even when this means I have to go on a mammoth train journey home cos Ma is so full of herself she won't let me call the medics when unwell . Ma first. DS second, me somewhere under the earth. Tis just family politics...

SC

[Numpty Monkey]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Just having a catch up

I've been busy at work,
but I'm getting fed up of the 6 day week

You should have said you were coming up North mate

Glad the "internals" were ok

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Piston broke?

Or was that just you?

To both of the above