Hooray Hall - Adventures of a Handyman Part 2

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Good Evening all, I finally got my connection back just as I was answering a call from Squawk Squawk asking me why I was leaving them?

I had a call from their Tec Services this morning telling me I had a line fault as their tests showed I didn't have a phone or modem connected to the line, my response was if I don't have a phone connected to the line how the F**K are we communicating, Telepathy?

Now the connection is lightening fast but Google Chrome is crashing every 15 to 30 seconds I have made now changes my end.

I understand users of Outlook couldn't send emails for ne (crashed again ) nearly 24 hours.

I can't wait to get an email off to Dido Harding CEO of Squawk PLC. I will post any reply I get up here.

And they wonder why folk are leaving?

Regards all, Handy

[Pixie]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Can't wait for you to change providers because I miss your stories.

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Sorry about the car....what's wrong with a good ole Morris? 1000 I was thinking. DS can sit on the roof or in the cart at the back

Went to boob clinic.....nice as anything though no cake

Had a right stressful weekend. Firstly e-cig leaked (must have used about 100ml of PG and 100 of VG trying to fix it LOL) ...finally fixed yesterday (just about)...now no juice....

Then ratties (milo and bob) got sick and refused to drink...and I thought they weren't eating either......so sos trip to rip off supermarket for baby food.

So now waiting for posh elderly rat food ....though one lassie on the forum spent £150 getting a rat tumour removed from the vets - :...I can think of far better things to spend £150 on

Like cake

Or e-cigs (blimey that's the price of a provari)

SC

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, quick message from Handy. My blinking Internet is down again. At the moment I am using my phone as a modem but the signal here in Hooray valley is rather week. Only a week before I change ISP's so things should improve. But if I'm not around for a while I'm not missing in action

The Squawk Talk techies can't see that there is a pattern.
Every Sunday evening since Xmas the speed drops off until my phone downloads faster. Then every second Sunday @ midnight the connection drops and isn't restored until Monday Evening or Tuesday Lunchtime. They try and tell me that this is just coincidental

Anyway catch you all later.

Regards, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Well I have done what I can with the engine, AAAAgghhhh.
years of experience told me the only cure is to strip the engning down and do it the right way. The thing that P's me off is that I have listened once more to so called Pro Mechanics and all that has happened is I have wasted another £50 quid.

So now I need to find a good second hand cylinder head complete with camshafts. By the time I have finished it may be a cheaper option just to scrap the thing now! as I am already into a massive loss on the car (2K plus).

You know modern cars don't rust like they used too, but all the anti pollution garbage and electronics are the bugbear.

When I was a youngster every car owner unless loaded did their own basic servicing, these days you need a degree in programming just to open the bonnet.

Example, the engine management light on the new car. The local garage whom I trust, had the car on their computer. The result was an open circuit on the Crankshaft Sensor, quote @£80.00 to fix.

Open circuit can also mean a bad connection or broken wire.
Me, shake the wires, clean the contacts. Result, It now works.

Folk have too much faith in what the equipment tells them and no Gut instinct any more.

Next problem, erratic fuel gauge and temperature. Previous owner wired the tow bar himself? Same circuit as none working Fog Lights! now I need a wiring diagram.

I wonder what the garage diagnostic computer would say

Oh for the days of real apprenticeships and artisans who knew what they were doing without the need for a print out.

Regards all, Handy

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

What are you going to do - pour in a load of sawdust?

No not on this one. When I bought the car,(and I had given it a good test drive)the chap delivered it to me. I parked it up and left it for a couple of weeks because then as now I was planning to put it on the road at the start of the month.

After 2 weeks I started it up to put some charge in the battery.
I was met by a smoke screen of Blue Oil Vapour.

After checking the compressions and looking into the cost of doing the valve stem seals I decided the fastest way to get in on the road was to swap the engine. Unfortunately my car the engine and gearbox has to come out from underneath as a unit complete with subframe, steering and suspension.

The Engine and Garage (Mates Rates) cost as much as I had paid for the car. I am still pursuing the dealer for his share of the cost.

As well as the engine work I have replaced virtually every front suspension bush, Tracked the steering, replaced the tyres and overhauled the brakes.

He told me he had taken the car in part exchange from a customer. I have proved that he bought it from a local auction.

When I stripped the old engine down this is what I found.





No the Mitsibushi GDI engine is prone to sludgeing as well as cokeing up. I believe that the Cam cover had been filled with grease. When the grease melted and washed away in the engine oil then it started to tap and smoke again.

The replacement engine has developed a noisy hydraulic lifter. The plan is to flush the engine several times then add some wynns Hydraulic lifter treatment followed by a chemical de-coke.

If this doesn't work then it's @ £400 to replace the cylinder head complete with cams etc. and that's if I do the work myself. As I am only looking for £950 for the car (sailed through it's MOT in January) I wonder if it's worth it.

Mind you I can't wait to get it's 240 BHP 155 Mph replacement on the road.

That's the main reason I need to get some cash back on the old one, to help pay for the insurance .

So no saw dust in the sump of this one, I don't want any comebacks and besides the young couple with kids that are interested in the car don't have a lot of cash to play with.

One of the reasons I never made any money when I was in business for myself, Conscience!

Regards, Handy

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

What are you going to do - pour in a load of sawdust?

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Hi all, Thanks for the greetings. Handy is having a steady day at home today. Just about to get the spanners out and have a go at curing the noisy engine on the old car. It should have been sold by now but the garage a prospective buyer had it checked out at found a fault. I'm hoping I can sort it without major expense. I have already spent 3 times what the cars worth on it in the last. That's why it's going before it costs me any more.

It's a shame because it's a really nice looking car, it will make a good family car for someone, problem is I have lost faith in it, every trip out I'm now expecting something else to need repairing.

Right where did I put my spark plug spanner

Regards, Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Happy spring pagan nonsense Handy

now get that Dog stuff on the roses

SC

[IF]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Happy Easter Handy

[Johanino]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

That's a tiny house cloggsie :

I still think you should chaperone me next Monday Handy :

Sorry I haven't been on ...been tired and now I have blood sugar probs

SC

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Blington Manor

[CleverClogs (RIP)]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

When Her Ladyship asks what all the dead brown patches are on the lawn, I will have to tell her it's frost damage

Dog Pish is the most effective weed killer I have found .

Even my poor little ornamental Cyprus look as though someone has taken a blow lamp to the bottom foliage, some of the new Christmas Roses are not looking to good either. (those I can blame on Lady Hooray's terriers).

That reminds me of the time that Lady Blington (wife of the late Sir Norman Blington, Bart.) moved a dwarf conifer to a flower bed from a silly concrete pot that was supposed to look Japanese. Soon, the conifer had brown burn marks all over the side nearest to the path and Her Ladyship asked me why that should be.

"It's probably because of where it's been put," I replied. "In the pot, it was above ground level so it wouldn't get the ground frost."

I hadn't the heart to tell her that her darling, ankle-biting pug had been piddling on it.

[Handyman]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Have you fixed the interwebby?

Next will be an industrial popperscopper

Fingers Crossed, I haven't lost the connection for over 36 hours now. Speed seems a bit erratic. I would like to say it will be fine now, but I doubt it. Talk Talk will do anything rather than have the line checked between here and the exchange. I think that there are two faults, one on the line and the other is in the programming of the local network at their end. I think that it isn't up to the local capacity and that they deliberately slow speeds to below 5 meg at peak times.

I do have an industrial Pooper Scooper, it's called a shovel an Wheelbarrow. Mind you there has been that much on the lawn this last few days I could have done with a JCB.

When Her Ladyship asks what all the dead brown patches are on the lawn, I will have to tell her it's frost damage

Dog Pish is the most effective weed killer I have found .

Even my poor little ornamental Cyprus look as though someone has taken a blow lamp to the bottom foliage, some of the new Christmas Roses are not looking to good either. (those I can blame on Lady Hooray's terriers).

Regards for now, Handy

[Numpty Monkey]

Re: Hooray Hall. Adventures of a Handyman pt2

Have you fixed the interwebby?

Next will be an industrial popperscopper