Jojo65 - Diary

[Undercover Elsa]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Hi Jojo,
I mentioned this to Niddy, and in view of the fact that it's post 2007 and enforceable, and a Full and Final isn't possible, then it's simply a case of negotiating an affordable instalment plan with them.

Which I & E form are you completing? Is it one 1st Credit have sent you?
There is a very good online one hosted by North East Derbyshire CAB here:
North East Derbyshire Citizens Advice Bureau
This one has built in triggers which will alert you if you state more than the accepted allowance for expenses. As this is a CAB form 1st Credit should accept it if you prefer to use this rather than theirs.

In respect of your fluctuating income, I would err lower than the average as it's better to keep to an amount you can afford even on a bad month than to miss any payments and trigger any more harassing letters.
Be honest, but be fair to yourself, you have a right to give yourself allowances for normal living expenses such as haircuts etc.

Have you at any time informed 1st Credit that you have been ill? It would help your case if you tell them this too. They may ask for medical evidence, but does mean that you should be dealt with more sympathetically, usually by a different team.

Once your I&E is done, if you want help with the letter, just shout, help is never far away

Elsa x

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Remember leaving a meeting in London, was held up on interview by the BBC Researchers, they offered to Taxi me to Victoria Bus Station to catch last Bus home to the S. West, time was o.k. so I declined, got to the underground, and god help me Rugby supporters returning from match, took 3 tube trains before I got on, only to arrive Victoria and see the National Express leave the Bus station. freezing night so I got on the Tube to try and head for Heathrow where it will be warmer till the morning Buses, only got 4 stops = Terminated, so I tried to thumb a lift onto M4 to Heathrow, no-body would stop prior to the M4, so I walked back to Victoria bus station, and managed to find one seat and froze the rest of the morning till the Buses started, that was in 1991.

Yeah, I can imagine that night! It's not funny mate. It made me feel completely low. Truth is I had been used to the good life for so long. By the time I was 25 I was qualified in Architecture, because of a knowledge of Construction and forecast trends at 28 I was a Director of a Brokerage House and lived in a Penthouse. Money made me a asshole. Poverty made me respect everybody, Now I just want to get by in peace and recover some dignity. Don't get me wrong, money has nothing to do with dignity, I would just like my children to be proud of me and not see me as having failed them.

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Hi Jojo,
I mentioned this to Niddy, and in view of the fact that it's post 2007 and enforceable, and a Full and Final isn't possible, then it's simply a case of negotiating an affordable instalment plan with them.

Which I & E form are you completing? Is it one 1st Credit have sent you?
There is a very good online one hosted by North East Derbyshire CAB here:
North East Derbyshire Citizens Advice Bureau
This one has built in triggers which will alert you if you state more than the accepted allowance for expenses. As this is a CAB form 1st Credit should accept it if you prefer to use this rather than theirs.

In respect of your fluctuating income, I would err lower than the average as it's better to keep to an amount you can afford even on a bad month than to miss any payments and trigger any more harassing letters.
Be honest, but be fair to yourself, you have a right to give yourself allowances for normal living expenses such as haircuts etc.

Have you at any time informed 1st Credit that you have been ill? It would help your case if you tell them this too. They may ask for medical evidence, but does mean that you should be dealt with more sympathetically, usually by a different team.

Once your I&E is done, if you want help with the letter, just shout, help is never far away

Elsa x

That's great advice, Thank you very much Elsa. I don't have a problem if they want proof of illness. The CAB IE form sounds ideal though. x

I think I will call CAB again next week, I tried this morning but couldn't get hold of anyone. I called the Council Tax people though and had Novs deferred as it was missed and I can't afford it. I am going to try to get a reduction on CTax and see if there are any other benefits I am entitled to. I can't go on like this, I'm only eating every couple of days and have done for months, I'm running out of excuses with the kids. Once I hammer out the whole benefits thing I will post it as part of the Diary and hope that it might help someone else. x

[Pixie]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Yeah, I can imagine that night! It's not funny mate. It made me feel completely low. Truth is I had been used to the good life for so long. By the time I was 25 I was qualified in Architecture, because of a knowledge of Construction and forecast trends at 28 I was a Director of a Brokerage House and lived in a Penthouse. Money made me a asshole. Poverty made me respect everybody, Now I just want to get by in peace and recover some dignity. Don't get me wrong, money has nothing to do with dignity, I would just like my children to be proud of me and not see me as having failed them.

You haven't failed them by getting into debt.

I think your children should be very proud of you...you sound a far better person now than you were when you had money.

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

You haven't failed them by getting into debt.

I think your children should be very proud of you...you sound a far better person now than you were when you had money.

In a way I have, when I see holes in their clothes, it really breaks my heart, they are 3 lovely, kind girls who deserve so much better.

[Undercover Elsa]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

I agree, Pixie, and I'm sure your kids will respect you just as much, if not more, for fighting in the face of adversity as when you were bringing in the megabucks. You're their dad and they'll love you regardless. Money doesn't come into it.

With regard to benefits, there's good advice and a calculator to see what you might be able to claim on the Turn2Us site: Turn2us - to access benefits and grants


If you're seeking help from CAB (or other charitable debt management company) 1st Credit are obliged to hold action for 30 days. You can include that in the letter.

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

I agree, Pixie, and I'm sure your kids will respect you just as much, if not more, for fighting in the face of adversity as when you were bringing in the megabucks. You're their dad and they'll love you regardless. Money doesn't come into it.

With regard to benefits, there's good advice and a calculator to see what you might be able to claim on the Turn2Us site: Turn2us - to access benefits and grants


If you're seeking help from CAB (or other charitable debt management company) 1st Credit are obliged to hold action for 30 days. You can include that in the letter.

Thank you so much for all your help. And for listening, I have never been able to discuss it with anyone during 3 years of misery. xx

[ken100464]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

You haven't failed them by getting into debt.

I think your children should be very proud of you...you sound a far better person now than you were when you had money.

Totally agree with this.

Life events change peoples situations. Anyone and everyone has the potential to be in debt. Our futures are not mapped.

People who look down on people who have are just one step away from it happening to themselves. Just they dont know it.

Society is built on debt. The people at the bottom are paying for the ones at the tops lifestyles. They wish to keep the staus quo hence make people feel bad about debt which makes people more likely to pay.

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Totally agree with this.

Life events change peoples situations. Anyone and everyone has the potential to be in debt. Our futures are not mapped.

People who look down on people who have are just one step away from it happening to themselves. Just they dont know it.

Society is built on debt. The people at the bottom are paying for the ones at the tops lifestyles. They wish to keep the staus quo hence make people feel bad about debt which makes people more likely to pay.

Good point. I have to say that I chose to walk away from the high powered lifestyle of brokerage because I realized what I had become. After that I went back to Architecture and works hard for years to build something, it was RBS that did for me, took streams of clients down so fast and they all owed the Practice money. I was just one in the chain of Dominoes.

[fluffystuff]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Good point. I have to say that I chose to walk away from the high powered lifestyle of brokerage because I realized what I had become. After that I went back to Architecture and works hard for years to build something, it was RBS that did for me, took streams of clients down so fast and they all owed the Practice money. I was just one in the chain of Dominoes.

Tell me about it jojo! Our nemesis was/is Lloyds, same situation.

For months we struggled by ourselves, why? Well, good old embaressment, shame and pride got in the way.
Then one day we just said no more and sent out the cry for help.
Rest assured you are far from alone and I KNOW you will get the help you need here.

Please don't berate yourself for past decisions.

You've now found Niddy and the team, things are looking up already!

Onwards and upwards!

[Pixie]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

Good point. I have to say that I chose to walk away from the high powered lifestyle of brokerage because I realized what I had become. After that I went back to Architecture and works hard for years to build something, it was RBS that did for me, took streams of clients down so fast and they all owed the Practice money. I was just one in the chain of Dominoes.

That in itself shows that you're girls should be proud of you.

I get upset when I can't treat my grandchildren but I give them lots of love. My GD (age 4) said last week that she likes coming to see me because "we do silly things and have lots of fun".

[ken100464]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

The establishment havent woken up to the net and what it is doing really.

Ten years ago we would all be struggling embaressed to speak. Some would lose everything some would have a hard and crappy life trying to pay gazillions more than was borrowed.

Now you have places like this. Places where you can feel at home and chew the cud so to speak.

It is empowering the little people to challenge the way the world is set up.

Information is king. And the thoughts and experiences of potentially limitless amounts of people can cause the accepted norm to be upset.

6 months ago if a DCA said jump we would have asked how high. We hated the postie and ignored the phone.

Now our postie is our best friend and its been like xmas many many times since the summer. Heck we even abuse DCA's on the phone if they catch us.

[fluffystuff]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

That in itself shows that you're girls should be proud of you.

I get upset when I can't treat my grandchildren but I give them lots of love. My GD (age 4) said last week that she likes coming to see me because "we do silly things and have lots of fun".

It's all too easy for us grown-ups to lose sight of what really matters. Isn't it?!

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

It's all too easy for us grown-ups to lose sight of what really matters. Isn't it?!

I think that, generally, this is changing, even in some of the younger generation. My girls have mostly forgotten about their old life now TBH I think they would like some treats occasionally but they never moan or grumble.

Hardship has made us closer and kinder. About two weeks ago I was in a CoOp car park with my 15 yr old, suddenly she said "hold on" then she ran off. She had instinctively gone to help an old lady put heavy shopping bags in her car. I was interested to know what her motivation was and when I asked her why she said it was because it was the right thing to do. Can't argue with that!

[jojo65]

Re: Jojo65 - Diary

I have been trying to sort out my Income and expenditure information over the weekend and this is harder than I thought as it is quite complex.

I am concerned because I have to get something back to 1st Credit and Moon & Beaver to be received by Friday at the latest.

I do want to make them an offer and start paying off the debt but I want it to be realistic to be fair to all parties.

Is there a way that I can hold them off on taking court action to give me more time to get the figures straight?

Regards
Jojo