Threat to sue a dead man for £36

[Deepie]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Love it...........

[philnicandamy]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

superb!

[IF]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

You made I laugh SH

[Jacobs Cracker]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Thanks Boss ,
I'll scan the letter in on Friday so everyone can see it.

I'm tempted to send them this -

"Darling Mr. R. Sole (manager),

I am almost in receipt of your letter dated 12/10/2012, the contents of which are noted. I say almost in receipt, because physical letters are not quite able to reach my dimension of residence. I'm sorry, but I have to tell you that that I have committed the most wanton act of debt avoidance possible. I had the temerity to pass into the next dimension, a decision which I reached in conjunction with my spirit guides purely to evade my overbearing burden of this alleged debt of 36 Earth pounds. The letter therefore had to be transmuted to etheric particles by my overseeing Angels, and delivered by moon dust.

I note your threat of court, and note also that for a court claim to be competent it needs to be issued in the jurisdiction of the defendant's residence. You will therefore be required to submit a claim to the Advanced Celestial Court of the Etheric Dimension, at a cost of 200 etheric particles. I believe this translates to around £46 billion of your lowly Earth currency. I will then submit my defence, in conjunction with the Archangels Michael, Raphael and Gotoel (that's pronounced Go-To-'ell), fully disputing your right to submit a claim in the Heavenly realms. This is because St. Peter has decreed that your moral standards obviously mean you are headed in an entirely different direction.

Note also that when I submit my Angelic Supplication under CPR 31.14, I shall be expecting you to provide evidence of the alleged debt. This will need to be in celestial form, and dear old Archangel Robuwell is offering a paper-to-particles transmutation service at a rate of only £50,000 of Earth currency a word. Please contact Head Office by kneeling on the floor, putting your hands together, and speaking, if you wish to take advantage of this wonderfully generous offer.

I also note your demand that I telephone one of your lowly Earth debt counsellors. As the telephone system has yet to be installed in this dimension, the best I can do is to send an ectoplasm message care of one of your Earth-bound mediums. These are usually fat ladies called Doris, and will be happy to relieve you of some of your Earth currency in exchange for trying to make contact. I look forward to hearing from you, or at least sitting on my cloud playing my harp while I watch you go bankrupt trying to reach me.

In summary, old chap, I would tell you to get penetrated, but that is more than I can do as I no longer have a physical body. You, on the other hand, do have physical bodies, so I suggest you avail yourselves of this service.

Yours ever-so sincerely,

Mister Name, deceased."

SH

Pure genious! Please make our day (& much longer) & send this! Keep us updated.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

I think you ought to send it.

We will back you anyway, no matter - go for it. It's professional and rude all in one.

Like it

[SaltnVinegar]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Yes definitely send them that!

When you do eventually inform them that your father has unfortunately passed away, if they claim they have received a response from him you then have the respective question of asking them how they have managed to receive correspondence from someone who is not alive.



What a bunch of

[Spent2much]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Thanks Boss ,
I'll scan the letter in on Friday so everyone can see it.

I'm tempted to send them this -

"Darling Mr. R. Sole (manager),

I am almost in receipt of your letter dated 12/10/2012, the contents of which are noted. I say almost in receipt, because physical letters are not quite able to reach my dimension of residence. I'm sorry, but I have to tell you that that I have committed the most wanton act of debt avoidance possible. I had the temerity to pass into the next dimension, a decision which I reached in conjunction with my spirit guides purely to evade my overbearing burden of this alleged debt of 36 Earth pounds. The letter therefore had to be transmuted to etheric particles by my overseeing Angels, and delivered by moon dust.

I note your threat of court, and note also that for a court claim to be competent it needs to be issued in the jurisdiction of the defendant's residence. You will therefore be required to submit a claim to the Advanced Celestial Court of the Etheric Dimension, at a cost of 200 etheric particles. I believe this translates to around £46 billion of your lowly Earth currency. I will then submit my defence, in conjunction with the Archangels Michael, Raphael and Gotoel (that's pronounced Go-To-'ell), fully disputing your right to submit a claim in the Heavenly realms. This is because St. Peter has decreed that your moral standards obviously mean you are headed in an entirely different direction.

Note also that when I submit my Angelic Supplication under CPR 31.14, I shall be expecting you to provide evidence of the alleged debt. This will need to be in celestial form, and dear old Archangel Robuwell is offering a paper-to-particles transmutation service at a rate of only £50,000 of Earth currency a word. Please contact Head Office by kneeling on the floor, putting your hands together, and speaking, if you wish to take advantage of this wonderfully generous offer.

I also note your demand that I telephone one of your lowly Earth debt counsellors. As the telephone system has yet to be installed in this dimension, the best I can do is to send an ectoplasm message care of one of your Earth-bound mediums. These are usually fat ladies called Doris, and will be happy to relieve you of some of your Earth currency in exchange for trying to make contact. I look forward to hearing from you, or at least sitting on my cloud playing my harp while I watch you go bankrupt trying to reach me.

In summary, old chap, I would tell you to get penetrated, but that is more than I can do as I no longer have a physical body. You, on the other hand, do have physical bodies, so I suggest you avail yourselves of this service.

Yours ever-so sincerely,

Mister Name, deceased."

SH

brilliant

[The Tech Clerk]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Twice to-night Niddy has been thinking!! getting worried when people think more than once in two post. lol

Go on send it.

[Pixie]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

I think you should send it SH!

[ScabHunter]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Go on send it.

I think you should send it SH!

I thought you were going for a beer (Pixie)!

Maybe on Friday when I have access to a printer...you'll just have to wait and see!

SH

[Pixie]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

I am...but not just yet...got to have a shower first.

[ScabHunter]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

I am...but not just yet...got to have a shower first.

Bet that won't taste as nice as the beer.

SH

[fatandskint]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

SH
Liked the post

Sorry for the loss, without disrespecting your late father I saw this on another place

You could send a letter to them with a forwarding address;

The Graveyard,
Your Town
Post Code

Special instructions- knock loud

[ScabHunter]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

SH
Liked the post

Sorry for the loss, without disrespecting your late father I saw this on another place

You could send a letter to them with a forwarding address;

The Graveyard,
Your Town
Post Code

Special instructions- knock loud

I thought about that, but the trouble is he was cremated and his ashes scattered, so there is nowhere for anyone to knock.

Mind you, as they haven't bothered to do enough research to confirm whether he is alive or dead, they probably wouldn't know that.

SH

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Threat to sue a dead man for £36

Maybe on Friday when I have access to a printer...you'll just have to wait and see!

SH

today's the day....