Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Well after a nightmare few weeks here is the latest,

Social have stuck ground and tied my hands at court to agree to weekday contact - really not happy with them on this as was pushed by my solicitor to agree on it
Housing - Placed application at cost of £200 in non-refundable fees - for it to be rejected based on CCJ from previous eviction - again really not happy about this.
Housing - Work unable to help as no properties in their portfolio are suitable.
Housing - Manchester council unable to help as do not fall into their "catchment area"

Oh and I have until Weds 25th to fully define the plan of action around housing, flexible working around assessments and time off for them (although not been given any dates), my Support Network in Manchester, School and Nursery Details for the kids when they are returned (including a yes/no on guaranteed places for them) & a letter from my employer confirming their position on Flex working when the kids are returned.

All of this is really really starting to frustrate me as for the last 2 months I've been telling my Solicitor that Wolverhampton need to pull their fingers out and actually help me out -- yet has that happened?

Oh and the best bit of this all was getting a text message from the Social worker on Tuesday at 14:47 telling me that there was a meeting scheduled in Wolverhampton for 3pm Wednesday.

Next steps are to

1. Speak to CAB about housing
2. Get a housing solicitor involved - even if at my own cost for now
3. Decide whether it be in my best interest to present as homeless to Manchester to get them to pull their fingers out and actually get involved.
4. Go back to the doctors regarding sleeping issues as this is now getting far far too much for me.

However work are being great and being as helpful as they can be at the current time - alot of the problems I'm going to have revolve around the fact that I've not been working here for 6+ months so cannot technically formally request flexible working.


Gah - cannot wait for this to be all sorted out - If that actually ever happens as it seems a long long long way away.

[nightwatch]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

see your solicitor and ask them to push for weekend visits, get him/her to point out that you want to see your children but if social/courts make it during the week you could loose your means of supporting them and this could prejudice your case, you may have to settle for once a month visits, or ask if you could have a phone call off the eldest, sorry not sure of ages,

am I starting to sound like Plan B?
maybe all three of us should adjourn to the local, how about The Star?

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

sorry Kila ,
I do understand your problem ,BUT I also can see where the carer is in this as well.
When I fostered, a long time ago I may add, the Sw wanted me to take the foster child I had to the hospital to visit his mum.
Now I had no problem with that, my problem was I didn't drive and my youngest daughter was only 4and had come down with chickenpox that day. visiting time was 7pm and I had a routine of bath at 7 bed 7.30 on school nights, Hubby was on nights so I would of had to of taken her with me. told SW, NO explained why, said I would inform childs school that I would take him during the day, SW said, Oh but I have told his mum you would go tonight, advised her in that case SHE could take him to see his Mum and in future to check I didn't have something else to do in future.
guess what ? I could suddenly take him the next day as she was going out that night,
So yes it is annoying but maybe the carer is not getting at you, or trying to stop you seeing your kids. It could just be that the SW has no Idea of how a family works together, or put it rather badly.
I know some of the ones I met were just out of uni and had no Idea of broken homes apart from what they read in the manual,also with fatal public failures in the past some are just over cautious.
bide your time, calm down and don't do/say anything drastic.
make sure you contact the SW, DO NOT SWEAR AT THEM no matter how tempting! ,say you would like to see your kids as often as possible, give a list of dates that you are available on to visit, ask if any are ok with the carers, if any are agreed do not miss them.get them on your side,
Make a list of every thing you need to do to make getting your family unit back together,
1, Home
2,local schools
3, childcare for while you are working/school holidays
4,????
the list goes on
my best wishes to you in this task xx

I think though its a case of the Social worker doing what she can to drag this all out even further. I'll speak with my Solicitor in the morning as theres alot that I feel needs to be dealt with and raised prior to the 13th.

The main issue for me is that the kids are in Wolverhampton and I'm in Manchester - this means that I either have to take majority of day off during the week to travel there see the kids for some of the afternoon and that's all that can be managed each week - Where as i've pointed out that there's no reason why they cannot provision weekend contact - yet I had this issue last year and with Barclays I laid down that the kids were coming first. Luckily I had been there 12months so fell into the Flex working catergories and flexed my hours to have a half day on a friday (although I had requested to flex to allow me to have full day off on Friday to allow for meetings etc) - but that's all in the past now.

I just dont want to seem like I'm messing the University around because of all this - I know that I have the support there but I've only been there since beginning of November and I've already used 12 days holiday because of Court, Contact, LAC reviews and so forth. And now there's gonna be even more of these that need to take place to further assess my viability of having the kids.

Anddddd .......... Breath lol

[PlanB]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Ok then Mother hen

Plan B xx

[nightwatch]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

sorry Kila ,
I do understand your problem ,BUT I also can see where the carer is in this as well.
When I fostered, a long time ago I may add, the Sw wanted me to take the foster child I had to the hospital to visit his mum.
Now I had no problem with that, my problem was I didn't drive and my youngest daughter was only 4and had come down with chickenpox that day. visiting time was 7pm and I had a routine of bath at 7 bed 7.30 on school nights, Hubby was on nights so I would of had to of taken her with me. told SW, NO explained why, said I would inform childs school that I would take him during the day, SW said, Oh but I have told his mum you would go tonight, advised her in that case SHE could take him to see his Mum and in future to check I didn't have something else to do in future.
guess what ? I could suddenly take him the next day as she was going out that night,
So yes it is annoying but maybe the carer is not getting at you, or trying to stop you seeing your kids. It could just be that the SW has no Idea of how a family works together, or put it rather badly.
I know some of the ones I met were just out of uni and had no Idea of broken homes apart from what they read in the manual,also with fatal public failures in the past some are just over cautious.
bide your time, calm down and don't do/say anything drastic.
make sure you contact the SW, DO NOT SWEAR AT THEM no matter how tempting! ,say you would like to see your kids as often as possible, give a list of dates that you are available on to visit, ask if any are ok with the carers, if any are agreed do not miss them.get them on your side,
Make a list of every thing you need to do to make getting your family unit back together,
1, Home
2,local schools
3, childcare for while you are working/school holidays
4,????
the list goes on
my best wishes to you in this task xx

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Your hope that 2015 will be the year when things will turn in your favour may yet still prove to be the case. We're only one month into 2015.

Even though there has only been a month gone this year - It just feels like a continuation of 2013 & 2014 - which I had hoped the New Job & New Year combo would make going into this month more settled - however again I need to face the reality of the situation in small chunks instead of the over whelming feeling that it has seemed this last 2 weeks.

Your dream of having a whole week without any upset is pie in the sky. Analyse the definition of "upset" and you'll soon see it's all in the mind.

The annoying thing is that all was well until Weds 21st when the bombshell was dropped!

Life is difficult. Get over it.

Ok then Mother hen

[PlanB]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Take a peek inside this book and we'll take it from there

[PlanB]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Think its mainly the lack of sleep and the inability to have a week without another upset. 2015 was meant to be the year things went to plan

Your hope that 2015 will be the year when things will turn in your favour may yet still prove to be the case. We're only one month into 2015.

Your dream of having a whole week without any upset is pie in the sky. Analyse the definition of "upset" and you'll soon see it's all in the mind.

Life is difficult. Get over it.

I read that in the opening paragraph of a boring book written by some Buddist called "The Road Less Travelled". It was the thing which prompted Geri Halliwell to quit the Spice Girls with confidence that she (her feelings) matter more than them.

I swear by that book.

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

You could go to the doctor and get 'dumbed down' with pharmaceuticals OR you could work things through on here

I'm a big fan of 'talking therapy' - I wonder why

Plan B xx

Think its mainly the lack of sleep and the inability to have a week without another upset. 2015 was meant to be the year things went to plan - Should know better than to plan for anything by now lol

Still cannot get over the fact that my ex has been lying to court for the last 9 months and it only came out because she was trying to make me out to be the untruthful one and because of the bombshell that came out at court my son was re-accomodated with social services.

Oh and to top it all off I'm being pushed into a corner around my contact with the kids - as in the SW's words "it needs to fit around the children's current carers" so that will be another interesting point in Court on the 13th. That and on the 27th it will be a full year since we originally went to court - So I'm gonna be doing my best to push this to be resolved for my 25th (so April time)

Hrmpuh lots to do as per usual :-)

[PlanB]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

just a lot of damage to my car - And almost none to the pesky Royal Mail Van my car slid into though as the idiot driver stopped whilst going down a hill (no indication of Braking or pulling over at all) and because of the snow (as this was Thurs Morning) I tried to slam my brakes on and just slid down the hill into back of them

Blimey Kila, you're like a cat with nine lives

I've lost count as to how many you've got left.

All in all am feeling a bit about everything - think I need to go back to the doc's again as I can feel that this is all starting to take its toll on me

You could go to the doctor and get 'dumbed down' with pharmaceuticals OR you could work things through on here

I'm a big fan of 'talking therapy' - I wonder why

Plan B xx

[nightwatch]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

all the areas are very student lead, most houses for rent in those areas will be house shares . not much Council or House association come up there,
Could be a few on the Fallowfield/ Withington border, the Schools there used to be quite good. Bus route is fantastic one every 3 mins, Burnage /Greenend is not too bad ( used to be local stomping ground, grew up just off Kingsway,) lived in Levenshulme for 10 years then moved out here , the people that bought our house in Levy wanted to move out of Hulme. to the backwaters. Chippy shuts at 10pm but there's not much left to buy after 9 pm.

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Ahhh Mac know it well, used to pick up a child from a care home there to take him to school, hated it when the weather was bad, mini bus went down the road sideways many a time.

let me know what area the council are offering you some are better than others if you don't know places to avoid, if you get my meaning ?

I'm looking at Hulme Longsight and Fallowfield though have taken a liking to the new builds off Plymouth Grove after viewing on 2 weeks ago which I only missed out on due to not having the funds available - grrrr

[nightwatch]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Ahhh Mac know it well, used to pick up a child from a care home there to take him to school, hated it when the weather was bad, mini bus went down the road sideways many a time.

let me know what area the council are offering you some are better than others if you don't know places to avoid, if you get my meaning ?

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Sorry things are looking bleak again. I can't make things better for you, but trying to think of a positive work is going well and you are becoming stronger financially so will be able to sort some things out, just not as quickly as you would like.

Hit the Nail on the head there - Although I wanted to get this sorted this month, I just have to face facts that it just is not going to happen and that it will happen just with time and patience. Something I'm not known to have much of especially lately.

[kilasuit]

Re: Kilasuits Diary (debt free and life improvements)

Hope no one was hurt x
is the loss of the car such a big thing in Manchester? Till we moved out of M/C to the country we could get every where by bus or cheap taxi 24/7

No injuries (though i'm expecting them to claim some) just a lot of damage to my car - And almost none to the pesky Royal Mail Van my car slid into though as the idiot driver stopped whilst going down a hill (no indication of Braking or pulling over at all) and because of the snow (as this was Thurs Morning) I tried to slam my brakes on and just slid down the hill into back of them only 2 minutes from home as I'm currently in Macclesfield so a 20-40min train journey each way each day to look forward to.

Not having a car wouldnt be such an issue if I didnt need to go anywhere else however with current situation with kids i'm tooing and froing to Wolverhampton/Walsall and driving there is much better for my sanity (and other peoples health too) than having to be on public transport going somewhere that I feel is pretty much a waste of my time (most times anyway)

I had been planning to reduce the use of the car to needed journeys that are outside of my normal Mon-Fri use but looks like thats no longer in my control.

Go get that HOME found or I'll come and find you and give you a friendly slap

Well with things having majorly changed with my last time at court I've started balls rolling with Manchester Council as Wolverhampton have not helped me in the Slightest and still owe me £1300 in travel rebates.
Its getting ridiculous that I've been house hunting for over 3 months and although I've been being picky its been for the right reasons - Close to work/schools/daycare (pref walking distance) and of decent size to be able to have me and both kids there too but needs to fall into a reasonable price range.

It doesn't help that being in a Shared House atm leaves me in many ways very much restricted and in some ways more stressed than needed and leaves me feeling an inability to really relax

Unless I can work a miracle there is no way I can currently see at being able to get anywhere else sorted for at least another month - Which is leaving me even more frustrated at the situation - and sometimes I do think having someone give me a good slap might help somewhat