Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

[SA Gold]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Sorry to hear of your grief StevieB.
I haven't been to court or anything but its all in her favour all the time.....

Best wishes
SA

[Pixie]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Sorry to hear what you're going through Stevieb. It's ridiculous that you're not allowed to be heard.

[Enforcer]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

My sons mates all call him Stevieb, another one going through the same. Nothing but grief from CSA, fighting them, kids are used as a tool. Either you pay, do as you are told, or you don't get to see them. Crazy situation.

[cookie2112]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Hi Stevieb, really sorry to hear about the awful time you are having, I would agree that the system is on the mothers side mostly and that is unfair, parents can be good or bad regardless of their gender and to hear that the courts won't even listen to your side of things is just awful, as you said at the end of the day it should be about what is best for your son - and she should want that too(!), is he very young, I mean is there any chance they could or would speak to him to see what he thinks?

Anyway, I know its pretty useless, as can't do anything constructive to help but just wanted to say that I am on your side!

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

I don't think much of the Family courts at all. Its been one of those inside jokes between lawyers since I can remember where you know that in a divorce or separation the lawyer acting for the dad is screwed. Frankly there is nothing even slightly amusing about it and ultimately the mums usually win at the kids cost and then the next case comes along and the same happens again whilst all the lawyers and the judiciary pat themselves on the back for keeping the joke going for so long. Every now and again the newspapers and the government say things are going to change and dads will be given a chance but it simply does not happen. When the mum and the courts stop you seeing your kids society then just views you as yet another irresponsible dad who doesn't care about his kids and can't be bothered to keep in touch with them.

I sat there in the mediation having to listen to slanderous comments being made, if i objected or tried to intervene then I was told to stop bickering.
I had to listen to complete contradictions being made by my ex.
I was told the past was irrelevant and had no bearing on the current issues (they are totally relevant) yet when my ex raised the past, it was noted down.
I was told agree to the ex's wishes or get an order prohibiting my access totally to my son.
I walked out at that point stating that it was a farce.
Came back, got told that we were going into court.
Now have to endure a section 7 report procedure all upon my ex's wishes and go back to court.
I made my feelings perfectly clear in court that I wasn't happy with the prior proceedings and my reasons why but again this was discounted as "im sure that did not happen".

funny though how cafcass have not rung me back today after a simple request this morning.
absolutely tamping when you can go round spouting crap about someone yet not be allowed to defend yourself.

you are absolutely correct in saying that it is a joke. The only person that is losing out in all this farce is my son. It's just trying to work out the next steps I can take to rectify the situation, fight against what has been said, disprove the accusations and hopefully regain the bond I have/am losing with my son.

[ATW]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

I don't think much of the Family courts at all. Its been one of those inside jokes between lawyers since I can remember where you know that in a divorce or separation the lawyer acting for the dad is screwed. Frankly there is nothing even slightly amusing about it and ultimately the mums usually win at the kids cost and then the next case comes along and the same happens again whilst all the lawyers and the judiciary pat themselves on the back for keeping the joke going for so long. Every now and again the newspapers and the government say things are going to change and dads will be given a chance but it simply does not happen. When the mum and the courts stop you seeing your kids society then just views you as yet another irresponsible dad who doesn't care about his kids and can't be bothered to keep in touch with them.

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Yep

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

But she was.....

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

As I said I wasn't listened to in the slightest.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Safeguarding risk? How so - she's the loony mate not you...? He loves being at yours. Nasty ex!

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

the best bit, I am now officially a safeguarding risk to my son!
I cannot raise a complaint until the section 7 report has been done.
I have been told that I cannot do anything.

so any helpers/pointers most gratefully received.

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Shit sorry to hear mate.

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Thanks for posting Andrew.
Sorry to hear of your troubles. It certainly does come across that the whole system is geared towards the mother - perhaps this is why so many mothers behave the way they do; because they know they can.
Fortunately, i did see the kids as normal on the weekend and touch wood (isn't it awful having to tread on egg shells when you know you haven't done anything wrong) all plans are set for Christmas.
I have started reading Fathers matter which interestingly is written by a solicitor although is more about how to negotiate with the mother because the courts will let the father down!

Thanks for your input.
Merry Christmas
SA

Negotiate? I have had 6 years of trying to negotiate and take baby steps, but as soon as the ex has a paddy its all the way back to square one.
which is the reason I ended up in Court today ... see my above post regarding that

[stevieb]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

The whole system is stacked against you I'm afraid. Ive experienced it as a Dad and a lawyer and it sucks. My ex has stopped me seeing my kids for months at a a time for no good reason other than to use them as emotional weapons. She even reported them missing to the police when she knew they with me whilst she was on holiday with her mates in Spain once. Don't expect to get anywhere fast with this. It is extremely frustrating and unfortunatly the courts are often just give false hope- I was told "mum knows best" by court worker many years ago when fighting to see one of my kids and that was from someone who was supposed to be neutral!!!

After leaving court today, I will wholeheartedly agree that they system sucks shit.
I might as well not have been there, as I wasn't listened to, I was spoken down to, I was talked over and apparently the past doesn't matter its only the now that is of concern.
Even then I couldn't say anything, and when I did it wasn't noted.

Not a happy bunny atm

[SA Gold]

Re: Can anyone recommend good resources/forum for single Fathers?

Thanks for posting Andrew.
Sorry to hear of your troubles. It certainly does come across that the whole system is geared towards the mother - perhaps this is why so many mothers behave the way they do; because they know they can.
Fortunately, i did see the kids as normal on the weekend and touch wood (isn't it awful having to tread on egg shells when you know you haven't done anything wrong) all plans are set for Christmas.
I have started reading Fathers matter which interestingly is written by a solicitor although is more about how to negotiate with the mother because the courts will let the father down!

Thanks for your input.
Merry Christmas
SA