Please help

[vicxzy]

Re: Please help

Thanks Sunny x

[LooLoo]

Re: Please help

O blimey - that it awful!

Well I am glad you are in the right place to get some help with your debts and honestly you must make sure yours and the baby's health are your top priority everything else can take second place.

xx

[vicxzy]

Re: Please help

I know Sunny, it is totally outrageous!!! However he says of he moves out he will not pay towards it at all
Our mgt company will not allow me to rent it out as there is not enough equity in it x

[LooLoo]

Re: Please help

That is outrageous!! Then he should blooming move out and you should be allowed to rent it out whilst you are waiting to sell...... sounds like you are better off with your new partner.

You do know that you are entitled to charge him occupational rent esp if you are paying half the mortgage? That is what my ex is claiming from me and he pays NOTHING towards the mortgage. The trouble is as I said before each "divorce" case is different and my solicitor has said to me on numerous occasions the law is a bit wishy washy over this point! So please do not be like me and waste £'s on solicitors. In my divorce there will be two winners - my and his solicitors.

It's just horribe that you are struggling and he is sitting pretty in your house.

[vicxzy]

Re: Please help

Hi everyone,

I do not want to live in the property as I left my ex husband as he had an affair, the majority of which was conducted in my own home so I cant even bring myself to go back there, nevermind live there again. My current partner also does not want to live there as it would be too starnge for him. On top of this we have a lease on our current home until October & we cannot get out of this early without severe penaltys.
I have no other children, I am desperate to get divorced but just cannot afford it until the house sells, even if I do the divorce myself without a Solicitor its still close to £400.
To be difficult the Ex will not divorce me, he says he cant afford either.

Thanks everyone x

[jen_br]

Re: Please help

I would be inclined to know the same as sunny.

I would get yourself back in there (sorry did you say you had other children?) and he may need to find a flat or bedsit of his own or a room to rent which could be anywhere from 40-60 a week.

[LooLoo]

Re: Please help

Hi Vicky, really glad to see you back and so sorry you have been poorly.

Someone will be along soon to give you some advice on what is your next best move with regards to you debts.

Sorry to be a bit nosey, but it the house is mainly owned by you how come you moved out (sorry if it is personal you don't have to say) I am just worried that you are struggling to pay rent and then also part of a mortgage on a house you no longer live in but have a large interest in. You say you have only had one viewer - is the because the house is on for too much money? Are you and your ex divorced or just seperated (sorry just trying to get a bit of background - I know all cases are different but I am going through a very acrimonious divorce... and know how hard it is to cope with it all - esp with debt added into the mix)

Take care

LL

[vicxzy]

Re: Please help

I still pay towards the mgt as he lives alone & cannot afford the full amount, plus the house is 85% mine as I got him to sign a document from the solicitos when we bought the house as I put 60k down on it from the sale of my prev house & he put nothing down as he was a first time buyer so I have more to lose if its reposessed x

[vicxzy]

Re: Please help

Hello everyone thank you for your replies, I am sorry Ive not been back on but Ive been in hospital again
Thank you for all your support. Im very grateful.
Re the actual debts info:

1) Barclays O/D £2300 opened when I was at school many years ago have no idea when sorry.
Last paid Approx October/November.
Not defaulted yet as far as I know
The lender.
2) Barclaycard CC £1100ish opened 2009 last paid around November.
Unsure if defaulted not had a default notice.
just 100s of phonecalls.The lender.
3) Halifax O/D £3375
opened approx 2003 last paid Dec. Only communication is your are over your overdraft letters EVERY day.The lender.
4) As above amount £250.The lender.
4)Halifax opened 2003 ish CC £3500 last paid Nov, constant calls, & you need to pay letters, think they have defaulted me.
5) as above opened 2004ish £2000.
6) Egg CC £8000 not paid since sept, had default notice & further action letter threat opened around 2001/2002.
7) Northern rock loan approx £3500, not paid since Nov, heard very little from them.(I also have the mgt for the marital home with them) opened around 2003/2004.
8) Pier collections contacted me about ground rent payments on marital home for past 6 years which they have never asked for before, this is the first communication I've had from them & amount is for £600.
9)Halifax loan approx £7500 not paid since Nov, creditor chasing taken out 2009.
10) Natwest CC £300 last paid Nov, creditor chasing me again dont think theyve defaulted me yet taken out maybe 2005?
11) Next storecard, approx £300 not paid since Sept, still send me statements but not heard anthing about default.
Sorry Im a bit wooly on dates amounts but Im trying not to speak to the companies on the phone so cant even call to ask.
thank you once again x

[Never-In-Doubt]

Re: Please help

Barclays could be easily stopped by sending them a harrassment letter. I can happily post one up for you if you'd like.

Hiya

Just a polite reminder that we have a database of templates here, we tend to use those unless you have anything you can add to them, then please link to our own templates.

I suggest you send me a PM to discuss any templates that you may have that we could use, obviously we'll not have them all because we tend to stick to unenforceability here so you'll probably have others, which could come in handy! But in the main please lets not confuse people, refer to our own templates first and foremost!

---> allabout | TEMPLATE LETTERS

[caspar]

Re: Please help

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I know exactly what it feels like as I, like many others on here I suspect, have been in exactly the same position.

Barclays could be easily stopped by sending them a harrassment letter. I can happily post one up for you if you'd like. As regards the mobile, unless it's on contract I'd simply change the SIM card and only give the number to those you trust / want to have it.

For what it's worth I think you've done brilliantly coping so well for so long, and you've done just the right thing by coming somewhere you can share your difficulties and seek some advice.

Swanfan is right though, at some point (sooner rather than later) you need to do as he suggests in his post, then we can actually begin to offer really constructive help. Once you begin to feel more in control again you'll be surprised how much better you feel in yourself.

You take care, and keep posting!

Caspar

[MustGetStraigh]

Re: Please help

Vicky,
Just wanted to echo what others have said here - there are things you can do to stop the quantity of calls you've been getting. You've got other things to worry about. There's great advice on these forums and I'm sure you'll find a way through all this.
You're not alone here - there is always someone who will help you.
Keep strong!

[Pixie]

Re: Please help

Hi Vicky

You are certainly having a rough time of it. We've all had times when we've been at our wits end so we understand and will do our best to help and support you.

The most important thing is your health and that of your baby. Don't let your employer bully you into going back to work when your doctor obviously thinks that you are not well enough. Perhaps Citizen's Advice Bureau could give you further advice on that.

As for your debts, believe me, they're not worth all the worry. As the others have said, post details of them and then we know what help we can give.

Barclays are one of the worst for hounding you with phone calls. Either change your number or look for the telephone harrassment letter on the template letters board - it worked for me!

Pop onto the chat threaads where you'll get some light relief from the constant worry of debt. Taking your mind of it for a little while can really help.

Take care hun xx

[mk_chatham]

Re: Please help

Hi

Just could not read this thread and not reply. You have taken the hardest step by coming on here, I know how hard it can be to ask for help. Well done !

When my head was spinning with debt problems I tried to do one positive thing a day, that way I slowly felt like I was taking control, and not that the debt was controlling me.

The phones calls HAVE to stop, the stress is not good for you, or your little one. Can you not change your mobile number, this is really easy to do and would give you some peace and quiet. I'd change the landline too, just tell the phone company that you are receiving harassing calls, I think this should be done free of charge. Just remember never to ring the loan companies from the new numbers. This is one positive thing you could do, today.

I also found it a great help to talk to a friend or family member about what was going on. If you can't do that then why not use the chat room on here.

I'm sure you will get loads of help and support on here, don't worry about asking 'silly' questions, remember most of us on here were in your shoes once.

Wishing you the best of luck.

MK

[LooLoo]

Re: Please help

Hi Vicky

First of all a very warm welcome and we are her to help and offer support to you.

As has already been said you are certainly in the right place, and if you can give some more info on your debt that would help.

Is you ex still living in your home? Just wondering if you are renting why you are stil paying towards the mortgage?

I know how the phone calls can get to you but just ignore them and if possible change your number.

Right now your number one priority is your health and that of you new babies, so please take care.

LL
x