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  • #16
    Hi Davey. Just thought I would add it is never advised to turn unsecured debts into secured so I would not think of releasing equity at this point. You do need to tell your wife because at some point she will find out. Personally I know I am on pain of being single......Now there’s a thought

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    • #17
      Completely agree with that. Releasing equity although an option given to me doesn't seem like the answer to me. I could double my mortgage and pay off all my unsecured debt but then be back here again after another blip, and yes my Mrs will find out tonight, it's about 30k more than she already knows about so I could at best see myself on the sofa for a few weeks or at worst be on the sofa somewhere else depending on how it goes. She needs me to be honest so I will come clean once the kids are in bed later. I've a sick feeling in my stomach and it won't go away till she knows what a fool I've been.........again.

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      • #18
        Well if I can do anything to help or be an ear you know where (kinda) to find me

        Its not just ne who will be supportive though , others will

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        • #19
          As a youngster I worked in an amusement arcade. I was astonished how the owners with so little education could be so rich - big cars and big houses, dangly jewellery. Every morning I watched trolleys full of coins being counted, and occasionally I to was allowed to count - £x000s. I also sat in the Change kiosk and saw people coming in with a note and breaking it, and then saying saving half, then coming back for the rest, then another note, then another.... Tuesday was worst as it was Pension Day and sometimes it all ended up in the machines.

          I was also on the other side, with our pocket money or the coppers left over from bus fare after walking halfway we would try to win a few pence, sadly to lose it all.

          The machine mechanics (on clockwork) and technicians (on electronic) systems can set the system. The owners/bouncers would note those watching the machines and turf them out. Some of the machines were set on a specific timer/ program with few variables, so they could be learned, like flip a ball - slow release would at least get a few pence, fast would over shoot, never hot the middle high as there was a bar hidden to prevent the ball from entering, or Grand National horse race eg. blue, yellow, yellow, red etc. Others were definitely rigged, like grab a teddy with the crane that had a loose arm or a pin to make it jolt and drop the capture. A magnet can be easily placed "responsibly" and upset the electronics, and removed when the inspectors come on site.

          Gamblers are sold an impossible dream. The house always wins and not fairly. The owners were selling the experience, they were not interested in offering a fair game. They were quite open about that. They said you could buy a cinema ticket, an ice cream, an hour on the ice rink or use the money in their machines, with the expectation that you would walk away winning. Note expectation, as in reality it was impossible to win except by a fluke of putting a coin in and winning on the first pull then walking away - no way. In their eyes (as they have not hearts) you pay for the experience, not for the possibility, of winning. I expect there was a 95% house win, but as the main customers were holiday makers there was not a local population to complain - except for my dad.

          Bingo was the same. The game would not start until the prize and overheads were covered by the punters. Again the house wins. You are paying for the experience with at least double the number of players than those paying, eg prize £100, cost £1 a card, number of players must be 200+ so the house makes £100 per game. The Lottery is the same, as all set up and working costs are taken out before any prize money is paid out, even those lotteries that say non-profit, take out monies for overheads and gratuities.

          Do not feel bad about gambling, somebody has rinsed you and made you believe there was a chance of winning, when there is not. It is a money-making business. If you can accept that you are paying for the expectation of winning - the experience of hope with no certainty at all, you can walk away.

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          • #20
            Thanks Julian very interesting insight above, I am ready to walk away but time will tell. It's been a busy few days, had my counselling initial assessment and been booked in for 12 x 1 hour sessions. I've sent out my letters asking creditors to hold action using the aad+ template, and had a little play with the nedcab income expenditure tool, will give it a couple of weeks see what sort of responses I get and will then sort and send out my pro rata offers of payment letters. One thing I found difficult was finding addresses to send my letters to, the websites were full of numbers to ring if your in financial difficulties but nowhere did it tell you where to write to, they won't be getting any communication from me over the phone, its snail mail all the way for me! I would say let battle commence but in reality I don't want a battle, I've overdone it, got myself in a massive pickle and now just need a bit of understanding and I'll make things right albeit not under the terms I originally signed up for,
            cheers all

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            • #21
              Wondering if somebody can help me here. I'm now in the process of setting up dmp and making offers to creditors. My problem is my debt to HSBC as it has all the interest front loaded. The loan draw down included all the interest at the start and so now each monthly payment reduces the balance and no further interest is added. What figure would I use to determine what I owe them as I'm asking all my other creditors to stop interest? HSBC have already put all there's into the balance at the start so in theory there getting preferential treatment as they don't need to add interest as its already there.
              any ideas?
              cheers all

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