Stay or go

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

Just had a letter confirming interest only on our mortgage but says for 6 months not 3. Gives us a bit of breathing space. Got an appointment wit C.A.B on Wednesday as someone advised hubby to go. Not got much faith in them myself but i guess a face to face chat will help him

[The Tech Clerk]

Re: Stay or go

Your health and marriage are definitely the most important things

It's really good news that NRAM has given you another three months on affordable interest only repayments See how you feel about everything in three months' time because NRAM will probably extend that period by another three months and then another and another because they have to be seen to be reasonable I lived in a house with a suspended possession order for 12 years so please don't fear the worst case scenario because it may never happen.

In the meantime do your homework on all your options as Mrs D says. I would put my marriage first if I had one - but nobody asked Plan B to marry them after the last time

Awwwwwww! that is my mate talking

[fluffystuff]

Re: Stay or go

It would never happen. They've tried to get me to do for ages but there is no way it would work......unless she moves in and i have her little one bed flat

Good! That's one decision made then, now for the rest, as and when.

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

It would never happen. They've tried to get me to do for ages but there is no way it would work......unless she moves in and i have her little one bed flat

[Radioactive Ja]

Re: Stay or go

His solution at the moment is to have his Mum move in but she has massive mental health issues and really not sure i could or would want to look after her 24/7. Heartless bitch aren't i?? My head's mashed this morning

No one will think you are a "heartless bitch", having a mother-in-law with massive mental health issues move in with you will just give you even more sleepless nights and everything seems worse when you cant sleep. Wishing you well

[MrsD]

Re: Stay or go

personally Samsmum, adding to your immediate problems isn't the way I'd go.

if hubby's Mum isn't well, I don't think moving her in with you is a good idea, and in a fiscal sense, is it really going to help?

you can only cope with so much, you owe it to yours to make sure that you can cope, get everyone through this and come out the other side.

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

Had another sleepless night so read spent too much's diary as you suggested plan b. Can totally associate with the to'ing and fro'ing and know just how hard it is to make that final decision.

I realise every situation is different but we need advice on the first steps please. Got a feeling that when hubbie actually speaks to someone and realises he will have to do some of it himself ie OR interview, he will just crumble. His solution at the moment is to have his Mum move in but she has massive mental health issues and really not sure i could or would want to look after her 24/7. Heartless bitch aren't i?? My head's mashed this morning

[PlanB]

Re: Stay or go

Have a read of spent2much's thread on this issue because it's a classic example of how emotion and practicalities and logistics get all mixed up and how taking your time to let matters settle before making any costly life-changing decisions is the way to go

http://forums.all-about-debt.co.uk/s...ead.php?t=7124

[Enforcer]

Re: Stay or go

I went through this in the last recession 20+ years ago. In the end mortgager was threatening repossession, I had no chance of paying, so moved to rented and posted keys back. It only took them about 12 months to track me down, but no money, no carpets, no wardrobes, 2 kids etc. Left me alone! Until 10 years later a DCA tried it on. They can come back on you for 12 years. Told em to Piss off, and they did.
Beware, if you get back on your feet they will come after you!
Thought about going BR but could not afford it. Skint. Loads of threats off umpteen DCA's but no one ever took me to court. Had nowt they could take.

If you have nothing, that's all they can take.

[fluffystuff]

Re: Stay or go

Thank you. Thats exactly what we said. Can't pretend i'm not scared but really think renting is the best thing for us. I don't know which order you do things in so got lots to learn and sure i'll have lots of questions

Ask as many questions as you like, we'll all do our best to help or if you just feel like a 'chat', there's always somebody here.
Just take your time and don't be rushed into anything.

[PlanB]

Re: Stay or go

NR have given us 3 more months on interest only but when that finishes we really can't afford to stay here. Not bothered about the house itself but with the shortfall i think we would need to get repossessed and go br. Under no illusions that this is the easy option but if things dont change they will stay the same and i'm not sure our health or marriage can cope with that.

Your health and marriage are definitely the most important things

It's really good news that NRAM has given you another three months on affordable interest only repayments See how you feel about everything in three months' time because NRAM will probably extend that period by another three months and then another and another because they have to be seen to be reasonable I lived in a house with a suspended possession order for 12 years so please don't fear the worst case scenario because it may never happen.

In the meantime do your homework on all your options as Mrs D says. I would put my marriage first if I had one - but nobody asked Plan B to marry them after the last time

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

Thank you. Thats exactly what we said. Can't pretend i'm not scared but really think renting is the best thing for us. I don't know which order you do things in so got lots to learn and sure i'll have lots of questions

[MrsD]

Re: Stay or go

you need to make a fully informed decision, what is best for you and yours.

read everything, ask questions and whatever you decide, we'll try and help

The family is the important thing, not the house

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

More bad news at the doc's so think it's really time we changed things. NR have given us 3 more months on interest only but when that finishes we really can't afford to stay here. Not bothered about the house itself but with the shortfall i think we would need to get repossessed and go br. Under no illusions that this is the easy option but if things dont change they will stay the same and i'm not sure our health or marriage can cope with that.

[samsmum]

Re: Stay or go

Can't argue with you there